


When I Was Young…

by holdingthispain



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band), LOONA (Korea Band), Oh My Girl (Band)
Genre: F/F, LOTS of girl groups and day6 if you squint, ONE MORE ROYALTY AU INTO THE BUNCH AMIRITE, and worlds smallest everglow crumb ever, chapters are hella long so prepare for that, gidle and sooshu crumb, not TOO prevalent but at least well see real interaction lmao, prepare to cry, universes smallest stray kids atom, yES youre reading that second relationship correctly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:06:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 77,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25888561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdingthispain/pseuds/holdingthispain
Summary: “Let’s not repeat all of time for them.”
Relationships: Bae Yubin | Binnie/Lee Yubin | Dami, Kim Bora | SuA/Lee Siyeon
Comments: 151
Kudos: 166





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> hey yall im back!! this was written and finished a while ago actually BUT i had a really difficult time choosing an ending for this… SO i chose one and im confident in my decision (tho dont be shocked if i ever post the second ending once this is over lmaooooo) anyway ONE MORE ROYALTY AU WITH SUAYEON BC WHY NOT RIGHT???????  
> enjoy!!

**_Age — Seven_ **

_Siyeon was a curious girl. She always wandered away from her mother and father and, when told to go somewhere, she’d become distracted and forget what she was supposed to do. Didn’t help that her glasses only cleared her vision slightly; It compelled her to explore closer. Her parents never scolded her harshly, bringing her home and gently reminding her to not do it again._

_It wasn’t safe for a little girl stuck in a poverty-stricken village to do._

_For half of her week, however, she helped her mother in the nearby bakery stand and make bread. For the other half of her week, she traveled with her father via horse wagon to the far-out restaurants to deliver vegetables. (She only helped by pushing the crates along the floor, but a big help regardless.) She still found time to have fun with her parents at home after such a tiring day; It helped make the day brighter._

_One day, Siyeon finished her work early with her mother in the bakery and she was allowed to leave. She promised to head straight home, but as always, she became distracted and began to stroll aimlessly. She traveled through the minimal market, passing and greeting the elderly merchants selling spices and valuables. She usually went with her mother to buy some spices whenever she was able to buy broth or her father worked with the village butcher. She gripped her scuffed-up satchel’s strap, only filled with her small allowance of coins, just enough to buy an apple._

_She ended up traveling farther out, away from the village. For a moment, she stopped at the forest tree line, staring at it. Her father’s voice telling scary stories of this forest, in order to keep her away, echoed in her mind. She tilted her head to the side as she squinted her eyes, seeing something moving inside. She widened her eyes and lifted her brows, her curiosity already at its peak. Wanting to see what it was, she entered._

_She hummed to herself as she walked through the overgrown forest, splitting between the village and… whatever was on the other side. It wasn’t as scary as those stories! Other than the occasional forest squirrel, there was really nothing to be afraid of._

_However, it seemed endless. Her little legs were growing tired and she was getting annoyed at the bushes and fallen branches scratching against her exposed calves. She looked up, barely seeing the blue sky through the grown-out trees. A little distance showed a pointy-tipped roof, barely poking out. Curiosity piqued her, but she grumbled. It was looking to be another two hours of walking._

_She picked up the pace, sprinting as fast as possible. She breathed harder and harder, becoming discouraged from the roof not getting any closer. She kept going, but to no avail—the distance of the roof stayed the same. She slowed down, huffing in annoyance._

_“Boo!”_

_A hard shove and a girl’s voice startled her, making her fall over into the dirt and her glasses nearly falling off her face. It followed with a loud, boisterous laugh, a sound that couldn’t be replicated._

_Siyeon was angry for a moment, jumping to her feet and facing the stranger with a death glare and her balled up fists ready to punch them silly._

_Her stance softened when she really looked at her. She had a pretty white dress, long black hair, and a pretty headband on her head. Her laugh was too loud, but her smile was pretty enough to make up for it._

_“That wasn’t very nice!” Siyeon crossed her arms over her chest, her eyebrows still furrowed._

_“Is that so? What are you going to do about it?” The girl gave her another shove. “Huh?”_

_She wasn’t one to back down, so she gave her a shove, a harder one, back._

_Then she got shoved even harder._

_It turned into a back and forth between them until the pretty girl ran off, making Siyeon chase after her. They sped off through the forest, their laughter growing louder and louder, until Siyeon caught up and tackled her to the ground. They rolled together in the dirt and twigs, their stomachs aching and their cheeks hurting from the joyous laughter and smiles._

_They stopped once the girl pushed Siyeon off her and they stood up._

_“I’ve never seen you here before.”_

_“My mama told me to go home, but I came here instead! It’s pretty here; I like it.”_

_“My mother doesn’t know I’m here. I always play hide and seek with my friends and they can never find me!” She giggled as she looked back down the forest. “I should go back now. Once they call my mother, I’m done for!”_

_“Oh, okay—”_

_“Promise me you’ll come back!” The pretty girl held her pinky out. “I’ll be here too!”_

_Siyeon didn’t question it, hooking hers in an instant, “I promise!”_

_“Who are you, anyway?”_

_“Siyeon.”_

_“Bora!” Even though they just met, she hugged her tight and then ran in the other direction. “See you tomorrow!”_

* * *

**_Age — Thirteen_ **

_“Where do you go anyway?” Siyeon’s eleven-year-old sister, Yubin, asked her while still looking down at the checkerboard she was playing with their nine-year-old sister, Gahyeon. Their father was able to buy it from one of the merchants last week. Games and items such as that were always expensive, so she refused to ask._

_“None of your business,” Siyeon said, hooking her satchel over her torso. Her mother remade it recently, making it bigger and lengthening the strap to have it hang comfortably against her thigh. “You two have to go to the farm, remember?”_

_“When papa gets back from the butcher.”_

_“Good.” Siyeon ruffled her sisters’ hair as she walked past them, making them grumble and fix them again. “I’ll be back before supper.”_

_Bora told Siyeon that she couldn’t tell anyone of them seeing each other, since she doesn’t tell anyone either. Once more, she didn’t question it, making another promise with her._

_Bora was sitting in their usual spot on a fallen over tree in the forest, far away from where Siyeon came from, looking down at her lap. When Siyeon crept behind her and looked over her shoulder, she saw she was tying yellow flowers together._

_“Why are you killing the flowers?” Siyeon poked fun at her._

_She surprised her, making her jolt. She gave her a playful glare, saying, “Because you take forever to get here?”_

_The village girl always found her so pretty every time she saw her. She always wore pretty dresses, her hair done in near-perfect braids or left down in wonderful waves, and looked so well put-together, Siyeon felt terrible for always showing up in her tattered, loose and thin t-shirt and pants._

_“I have to walk far,” Siyeon sat down next to her, “so be thankful that I can show up at all. Plus, I have siblings now, remember? I try to hang out with them.”_

_“Oh, yes, I remember.”_

_Her little sisters were homeless before her mother had found them and decided to take them in. They had no recollection of their own parents, nor could they remember how long they’ve been homeless for. Siyeon was welcoming and, hell, she always wanted a younger sister, and now she had two!_

_When she told Bora, she spoke of her own experience and how her younger sister was adopted into her family as well, as an unfortunate event ('it cannot be spoken of,' said Bora in a frightened whisper) had left her an orphan. Not quite the same, but it was one of the small, rare things they related on._

_“I’ll try to show up earlier next time.” Siyeon reached over and tucked a lock of Bora’s long hair behind her ear. “For you.”_

_She giggled, “I shouldn’t be disappearing as often, to be truthful! I have many studying duties for secondary school, extensive archery practice, and two younger sisters of my own. My mother is beginning to treat me more strictly.”_

_“What’s school like?”_

_“You don’t have a school?”_

_“My mama and papa taught me how to read and write as a kid. I guess my mama’s friend, Miss Minji, is somewhat a teacher now. She tries to come by sometimes, sit me and my sisters down and teach us something, mostly more reading and writing but we’ve been doing math now, but that’s pretty much it. She tells better scary stories than my papa, though!”_

_“Huh…” Bora still looked confused, but didn’t continue. “So, what do you do?”_

_“Work. Baking bread, mostly. My mama does that too, my papa works with delivering vegetables and as a butcher, and then my sisters work on a farm feeding animals and picking carrots from the ground.” Siyeon sighed, picking at one of the loose stitches on her satchel. “Though, even then we still don’t make a lot. It feels like we do, but with how much everything costs and then there’s a tax collector we all must give a cut to… it’s practically nothing after that.”_

_“Wow…”_

_“Yep,” Siyeon’s lips popped as she pronounced the ‘p’. “I guess you don’t work.”_

_“No, um, never done manual labor in my life. I only ever study… My academy is that, actually.” She turned around and pointed at the roof tip that stuck out above the trees. “My mother always tells me to focus on my studies. Getting to see you and be here is such a breath of fresh air for me. That’s why I like coming here!”_

_“I like coming here too.”_

_The two girls shared shy smiles between them. Siyeon saw a cute, light pink on her cheeks._

_“Uh,” Bora shook her head and then held up her yellow flowers, now tied together in a circle, “I was making a flower crown! My academy has a garden area and I took these dandelions. See? Lean over.”_

_Siyeon does so and the flower crown was placed atop of her head. After Bora fixes her hair, she leans back, “How do I look?”_

_The pink of her cheeks became brighter. She then scoffed, and turned away, “You’re pretty, I guess.”_

_Siyeon laughed, shaking her head at her sudden cold demeanor. “Thanks.”_

* * *

**_Age — Eighteen_ **

_“Okay…” Siyeon took a deep breath as she walked through the forest, tightly gripping her oil lantern._

_She felt nervous. The older she became, the more nervous she felt with Bora. She wasn’t sure what it was at first until she asked Miss Minji. The older woman ended up becoming a third parent for her, so she decided she could describe what she was feeling. The teenager was taken aback as Miss Minji stated that she was feeling butterflies in her stomach, something common in developing romantic feelings for someone._

_Siyeon only ever read love stories that happened between men and women. The idea of two women being together in such a way was unheard of, thus, for her whole life, she believed that wasn’t normal. Now, she was feeling things for another girl._

_Her best friend._

_It took a while and Miss Minji’s guidance for her to fully accept it. Her being okay with her feelings being directed to a girl made it easier. However, there was also a feeling of regretting that acceptance; She didn’t like this nervousness building up inside her._

_Ever since last year, the two didn’t meet up in the forest as often as they did before. Bora stated since she had finished all of her formal education in the nearby school, she lived too far to continue to see her every day. Fridays and Saturdays were the only times she could come._ _Siyeon was weirdly relieved of that._

_Yet, that didn't affect anything. Her feelings towards her wouldn’t lessen, not even a smidge._

_Birthdays were the exception—Bora promised to show up no matter what._

_It was her eighteenth birthday today. Like all the previous years for both of their birthdays, they met at night instead. All Bora explained as to why that was, was because ‘she was busy’. It was like that every year._

_As for Bora’s birthdays, it was always celebrated a day earlier. Something about her family’s strict rule to celebrate together._

_And, like all the previous years, they didn’t give each other gifts. Not like Siyeon ever wanted a gift from her—her friendship was the greatest gift she could ever get._

_Friendship._

_Siyeon saw another oil lantern at her and Bora’s usual spot, on top of the tree log with a figure standing next to it. She recognized the usual white dress Bora wore and her long hair cascading to the small of her back, assuming that was what she wore for slumber._

_“Siyeon!” Bora, as loud as ever, greeted her._

_“Bora!” She greeted back._

_Once she was in front of her, the shorter girl wrapped her arms around her. “Happy birthday!”_

_“Thank you,” she hugged her back with the same, tight strength. She hoped she couldn’t hear or feel the racing and pounding in her chest._

_Bora pulled back, giggling. “Let’s walk around tonight. Are your feet okay to do that?”_

_“I’d walk around with you even if my feet were at their worst.”_

_Bora laughed again and they held each other’s hands, interlocking their fingers while their free hands held their lanterns. Since her birthday was in autumn, the weather was on the colder side and all the leaves had fallen off the trees, letting the moonlight through the dry branches in._

_“What did you do today?”_

_“It’s just an ordinary day. Work. Though, as always with our tradition, I had a really good meatloaf supper! Cut as big of a piece as I want!” She paused before she weakly chuckled, “I cut too big of a piece for me, so my sisters shared the rest. That made up for the tiring day.”_

_Bora clicked her tongue, audibly annoyed, “As lovely as that sounds, it should’ve been a rest day today!”_

_“Hey, I’m having a rest night! Being with you is making it all better again!”_

_Siyeon bit her tongue, silencing herself. Her realization and acceptance made her more cautious of her word choice. She used to say sentences such as that casually. But now, she didn’t want to come across as if she was trying to push something onto Bora._

_“I’m glad we’re here together then.”_

_The rest of their walk was quiet, which was puzzling with someone like Bora. Siyeon’s hand was getting clammy, but Bora wasn’t letting go. She hoped she won’t let go. Their feet were stepping against the dry, crunchy leaves and twigs; Those were the only noises filling their silence._

_Just as her heart was relaxing, Bora stopped, making her heart shoot up in speed again._

_“Siyeon?”_

_“Yes?”_

_“I…” Bora set her lantern on the ground. “I brought you a gift this time.”_

_“Really?” Siyeon followed the action, placing hers side by side. A big smile grew on her face. “Where is it? Can I open it now?”_

_Facing her, if she squinted enough, she could see Bora’s face. She looked… scared?_

_Bora chuckled, “Close your eyes.”_

_“It’s already dark; I don’t need to do that.”_

_“Well, I’m telling you to do it anyway!”_

_The taller girl sighed exaggeratedly, but still complied with her request. She waited for Bora to grab her hands and then place a gift on them. Instead, Bora pinched at the collar of her shirt, giving her a light tug._

_Next thing Siyeon knew, a pair of warm, soft lips were pressing against hers. Her eyes shot open, now on the verge of jumping back and freaking out._

_But this was what she wanted._

_Bora liked her in the same way._

_She felt goosebumps on her skin, traveling along her neck and arms. In that moment, the cold that surrounded them dissipated, now enveloped by her warmth like a newly-sewed wool blanket. Siyeon closed her eyes again, hesitantly grabbing Bora’s hips and pulling her closer. Their bodies were pressed together and their lips shyly moved against each other. They shared more smaller kisses as the shorter girl cupped her cheeks._

_Bora pulled away first. As much as Siyeon wanted to keep going, it was true that kissing made one tired and out of breath._

_“I…” The shorter girl sounded so timid, completely different from her usual demeanor. “Apologies…”_

_“It’s okay. I feel the same way.”_

_“You… You do?”_

_“Yeah… I felt this way for a while, but I was scared to say anything or do something about it.”_

_She was silent for a second before replying, “Me too.”_

_Bora leaned in again and connected their lips once more, continuing with caution and holding each other close, warming each other in the cold darkness. Her touch against her cheeks was burning hot on her skin and her lips against her own created an electrifying spark between them._

_Bora pulled away once again and hid her face in the crook of the taller girl’s neck, trembling in her arms._

_“Bora,” Siyeon said as she felt wetness forming on her neck, indicating she was crying, “why are you sad?”_

_“I… I can’t believe you feel the same. I expected you to push me away…”_

_“It’s okay, Bora.” Siyeon ran her fingers through her long hair. “We’re okay.”_

_“Can we… stay here for a few more minutes?”_

_“Of course.”_

* * *

_Bora never showed up again._

_Siyeon was ecstatic on the day she’d see Bora; They didn’t have a chance to formally talk about their feelings, as they were out longer than they should've been. She arrived at the forest earlier than usual, but the shorter girl wasn’t there yet. She didn’t mind it at first, sitting on the log and waited patiently._

_However, she never showed up. Siyeon left home when the sun went down, heartbroken that her friend didn’t show after what happened._

_She returned the next day and Bora still wasn’t there._

_The village girl took her chances and decided to go every evening and go home when the sun was nearly gone, thinking that Bora was showing up on other days and was waiting then instead._

_Every day, for an entire month, Siyeon’s heart broke more and more. It was on a Friday where her heart completely broke in half, leaving their secret place with hot tears streaming down her cheeks._

_Since then, Siyeon, for the most part, acted normal and like that night never happened._

_She went on with her days, working and spending time with her sisters in games of checkers. She decided to never go back to the forest, as much as she wanted to._

_So badly._

_She wondered if she had done something wrong. Wondered if Bora had a change of heart and didn’t want to be in love with another girl. Or, if she was okay with loving another girl… she didn’t want it to be her._

_“Come on! Can we, can we, please?” Gahyeon was shaking Yubin’s arm around, pleading and begging, puppy eyes and all._

_“What’s she on about?” Siyeon was sitting in bed, holding a copy of ‘The Black Cat’, by Edgar Allen Poe, Miss Minji had gifted her the day after her birthday._

_“She heard the royal family is going through the nearby town soon. I don’t know how she heard about this, but apparently it’s true. She just wants to see them, but… why?”_

_“I may have been eavesdropping on the snarky rich person that came to the farm while I was feeding the pigs. I just want to see them one time!” Gahyeon stomped her foot. “The Royal Ryu Family of our Kingdom of Sinnomia! One time and I’ll never ask again!”_

_“Hm…”_

_“Please?” Gahyeon gave her her irresistible puppy eyes and cute smile._

_Yubin sighed, nodding, “Okay, okay. But Siyeon has to come along.”_

_“What?” Siyeon raised her brow._

_“If she doesn’t go, I won’t take you.”_

_“No—”_

_“I’ll drive the wagon.”_

_Siyeon shut her book after dog-earing her page. “Okay, let’s go see this family!”_

_To be truthful, Siyeon never really cared about that family. She was strictly in her own little bubble of the village. She didn’t even know their name until Gahyeon said it. She probably overheard or was ‘listening’ when hearing about them, but other than that, she couldn’t think of any facts about them._

_It was a forty-minute ride to the large crowd of people lining the street, waiting for the alleged royal family visit. They kept a comfortable distance as they halted their wagon and tied their horse’s reins to a post._

_“Stay put, Captain,” Siyeon ran her hand through the brown horse’s mane._

_She jogged to her sisters, catching up quickly as she looked in the direction the crowd was looking. They stuck out like sore thumbs in their tattered clothing, surrounded by the affluent middle class. Luckily, they weren’t paying attention._

_Gahyeon turned to her older sisters. “This is the only time, you two, I promise.”_

_“Alright then.” Siyeon nodded._

_The crowd’s murmuring started raising in volume as an elegant, white carriage embellished with gold, pulled along by two majestic white horses. Two men, one holding the horses’ reins, and two men sat in the back, most likely the family’s guards._

_Applause erupted and everyone began waving their hands in the air for a millisecond of their attention._

_Siyeon rolled her eyes, but she watched along with everyone else._

_The queen, three girls… One with short brown hair, one with long brown hair, and one—_

_As one of the girls turned to her, Siyeon’s heart stopped. Her eyes widened until they couldn’t anymore. Her jaw fell open._

_Bora._

_She was smiling and waving at everyone. Siyeon clenched her jaw, tears beginning to fill her eyes._

_Bora eventually found her in the crowd and her smile disappeared. She had a sorrowful look in her eyes, retracting her hand. Time seemed to have slowed down as they held eye contact, their two separate worlds colliding and shattering, yet staying as a mix of water and oil._

_Siyeon had never seen so much pain in someone’s eyes before. A deep, deep ache set in her chest, making it difficult to breathe. She didn’t look away, registering that Bora was really sitting up there with a tiara on her head._

_A hand, the queen’s hand, pulled her back in again to wave to the other side of the street._

_“Okay, we can go now!” Gahyeon hopped and spun around, heading back to their horse._

_“Well, that was fun.” Yubin shrugged her shoulders._

_Siyeon sighed, looking down at the ground to blink her tears away. She kept her eyes down as she followed her sisters, still wrapping her head around it._

_She noticed Bora was always so nicely dressed. Even with her weird humor and laughter, she was proper. She had a similar accent, even a little thicker, to the rich people she despised. She was only ever focused on her studies. Everyone took her seriously._

_She told her, directly, that she had to keep their friendship a secret._

_She just… didn’t connect the dots._

_The girl that shoved her to the ground. The girl she went to see every day. The girl she thought was beautiful._

_Her first friend. Her first kiss._

_She was a princess._

* * *

**_Age — Twenty_ **

_Siyeon never went back to the forest again since then._

_Her family and Miss Minji all noticed her strange, distant behavior, but she blamed it on getting older, feeling as if she was getting tired easier. She wasn’t as energetic or lively anymore and she only focused on working, being with her family, and reading._

_Of course, though, that didn’t mean it wasn’t eating her alive._

_She did wonder if Bora had ever gone to the forest again at some point, hoping she’d just show up. But Bora was a princess. She was busy, especially now as an adult, with more royal duties and obligations to attend to._

_She had more things to worry about than her poor forest friend and her feelings._

_She was helping Miss Minji organize her books in her tiny library she established for the young village children she could formally teach in. There wasn’t much and it was the first of its kind in their village, but since there were a lot more children now, it was an important addition._

_“How are you feeling, Siyeon?” Miss Minji asked._

_The young adult sighed as she set a pile of children’s books on one of the short desks. “I’m… getting by, Miss Minji.”_

_“Something on your mind?” She placed a gentle hand on Siyeon’s back, standing by her side._

_She lifted her glasses and rubbed her eye, already sniffling and feeling a lump in her throat._

_“Honey,” Miss Minji pulled her into a loving embrace, “what’s wrong?”_

_Her breath was already uneven, taking her glasses off to hide her face against her shoulder. She felt pitiful; Miss Minji was the only one she could feel vulnerable, at least to this extent, with._

_She pulled away, using the back of her hand to dry her face. “Remember when I asked you about all the butterflies in my stomach? When I had—have—feelings for a girl?”_

_“Yes?”_

_“I saw her when I went with my sisters to see that royal family… She’s a princess, Miss Minji. She’s Princess Bora. She’s—She’s the one I had feelings for… Have?… Had,” She sniffled, taking a deep breath. “I haven’t tried going to see her again. I’ve been so… confused and lost and… I feel so stupid that I didn’t ask where she came from! I just… I just saw my pretty, funny, nice… friend, Bora.”_

_Siyeon wore her glasses again and went back to putting the books on the shelves, discomfort filling her personal space. She wasn’t sure what she was feeling, nor how to feel about it. She wanted to be mad and upset, but… at who? For what? What was the point in anger? … She wanted to feel anger instead of the deep sadness that stayed rooted in the pit of her stomach._

_“Have you ever gone back to see her?” Miss Minji placed her hand on her shoulder, making her pause her task. “Perhaps she’d want to explain herself?”_

_“It’s been years, Miss Minji. I doubt she goes back to where we meet anymore.”_

_“You must try. At least once. After that, you can put this all to rest. You don’t have to wonder anymore.”_

_The young adult sighed. Perhaps she was right… She nodded, saying with a defeated tone, “Okay… Once I’m done with this, we’ll never speak of it again.”_

* * *

_Siyeon waited until the dead of night to take her oil lantern and head to the forest. For a moment, Gahyeon woke up from her moving, since they, along with Yubin, still shared the same bed in their little home, but Siyeon was able to leave without further alarming her._

_Her heart pounded in her chest as she approached the dark forest._

_The dark forest, that had never instilled fear in her, was now swallowing her whole and suffocating all of her air. Her steps were becoming heavier, dragging her feet along the damp dirt and fallen leaves. She expected to find nothing. Just darkness, missing all the life she and Bora once brought there. Where they shared their interests, their dislikes, their comfortable conversations, their joyless thoughts, their laughter, their childhood…_

_Their first kiss._

_She expected nothing._

_But as she approached, the dim and dull yellow light of a lantern was glowing. Getting closer, the sound of sniffling could be heard. As if they’ve been crying for hours. As it grew louder, Siyeon saw, barely in the darkness, the silhouette of a girl, who had long hair and a white-colored dress on. Sitting right on the log she and Bora used to meet._

_It… It was her._

_Siyeon froze in her spot. Her heart pounded against her ears. Her eyebrows twitched in their furrowed position. Her throat was so tight. Her breath couldn’t keep up._

_She didn’t know what came over her._

_She took a step back._

_Then another._

_Then another._

_Until she turned around and returned home._

_Her eyes wanted to look again._

_Memories of their happiness together flooded her mind. Seeing Bora’s smile, hearing her laugh, feeling her hand around hers…_

_She missed her._

_She kept walking._

_She kept walking and never looked back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so ive been thinking about making a twitter bc i kinda wanna make dc writer friends 👉👈… but that place terrifies me  
> kudos and comments are always appreciated see yall next saturday!!


	2. I

“Siyeon!” Gahyeon struck her older sister in the head with her pillow. “Wake up! You have to go deliver with papa to the nearby town, remember?”

The twenty-four-year-old groaned as she rubbed the side of her head. “Okay, I'm awake! Sorry, I couldn’t sleep last night.”

“Yeah, I know, I felt you get up last night."

"You did?"

"You moved my arm and this bed isn't exactly the most quiet thing in the world."

Ever since that night she went to the forest, she hadn’t been able to sleep well anymore. She could work to the bone, until she couldn’t walk and keep her eyes open anymore, but that wasn’t enough. She’d wake up at awful hours, her family sleeping peacefully, and she’d lie there or, more often nowadays, get up and walk a little because she felt too awake.

Siyeon rolled up, slow and groaning as she sat. Putting her glasses on, she then grabbed a blue shirt and loose pants from their shared dresser in the corner of the room.

“You guys left some cold water for me, right?”

“Mama and I got it from well before the sun was up, like always. But," she then scowled, her face scrunching as she spoke with an irritated tone, "that annoying neighbor took it from us while we were trying to retrieve more!"

“What?!"

“That's how I reacted!"

“Who do they think they are?!”

“I don't know, but what I do know is that they're annoying! We were able to get some more, but there wasn't a lot and it's not cold anymore. Sorry…"

“It's okay; It's better than nothing at all. That neighbor better straighten out."

“Or else I’ll walk over there and straighten them out myself!"

“Don’t do that!” Siyeon saw the annoyed look on Gahyeon’s face, and then said, “I’ll join you!”

After seeing her baby sister’s cute smile and hearing her cuter giggle, she left for their bathroom for a quick wash. Like Gahyeon said, the water was lukewam and low, only taking up a quarter of the metal basin. She made the best of what she had, not letting a single drop go to waste. Leaving her home, she was dried by the sun, refreshed by the summer rays.

“Papa,” she called, approaching her father as he was double-checking Captain’s straps by the village stables. “We’re delivering today?”

“There you are, my wolf pup!” Till this day, he still used that pet name for her. When she was little, he always told the story of _Little Red Riding Hood_ , and she developed a fondness for it. For the big, bad wolf, in particular. He grabbed her in his signature bear hug. They always knocked the wind out of her, because her father was a tall, burly man, but they were still her favorite. “Yes! You were still sleeping, so I got it early! It’s a big delivery, too!”

Siyeon pushed her glasses up as she looked at the large wagon full of vegetables. “Oh, is it that restaurant again?”

“Precisely!” He nodded, making some of his slicked back salt-and-pepper hair fall out of place. “We better get moving! It’s a clear, beautiful day! It’ll be a smooth hour!”

Siyeon hopped into her front seat on the wagon while her father took the reins and went off on their steady travel. She always loved working with her father and how he managed to make moving crates enjoyable. He always had interesting and fun stories to tell her from his youth and he always knew how to keep her happy when she didn’t feel like working.

“Hey, papa?”

“Yes?”

“Doo you ever think about… ever getting out of the village?”

He was quiet for a moment, which took her aback. He usually answered quickly, so to see him think first was a rare sight. She was left on the edge of her seat, watching him with uneasiness as he kept his eyes forward.

“Truthfully, no.”

She tilted her head to the side and raised her brow. “Why not?”

“I have my beautiful, hardworking wife and my three equally beautiful, and equally hardworking daughters. And you all make me incredibly proud and happy. No amount of riches could ever top this feeling!”

Siyeon smiled at the thoughtful words. How he always managed to say the best things—it was almost magical that he did.

“Would you like to be able to move on and live somewhere else?” He asked.

She chewed on her cheek, beginning to pinch the back of her hand. “Well…”

“You can tell me the truth, wolf pup! Your mama and I only want the best for you three.”

“I don’t know. A part of me doesn’t mind this life because it’s all I’ve ever known.”

“Most individuals don’t like stepping out of their comfort zone. Once you do, however, you’ll say, ‘Huh… what was I afraid of?’”

“That’s true…”

Getting older, she began to wonder what it was like to live as one of the wealthy. Not out of jealousy or feeling left out (she greatly despised the rich!), but if she was granted one day living as one of them, she wouldn’t decline. Though, she had to agree. She had her wonderful parents and her sisters were great, along with Miss Minji’s cozy company.

Yet, she couldn't stop wondering.

* * *

Siyeon and her father arrived at Bistro Aix, a French restaurant in the heart of one of the richest areas near their village. She could’ve sworn she could smell currency in the air. The residence was simply too pompous. Overwhelming with pretentious arrogance, all pedestrians were dressed in the most expensive, flashy garments and jewelry. Quite a few were walking with large, skinny dogs with pom-pom-shaped fur. Some of them sneered upon seeing them pull to the restaurant. Her eyes should’ve fallen out of her head from how hard she rolled them.

They unloaded the crates of fresh vegetables and into the kitchen, all the while the head chef was puffing on a cigar and standing by, watching them work away. Siyeon used to find that weird and awkward, but she mastered the art of ignoring. It was like he wasn’t there at all.

Siyeon dried her sweat off her forehead with her arm after placing down the final box of carrots. The head chef was ill-mannered as he slapped a bundle of cash into her hand. She scoffed as he walked away, beginning to divide the money for the village’s tax collector.

“We better get going! I have to travel to the butcher to see if he needs my help.”

“Will you take me to mama’s bakery?”

“No need, wolf pup! You should get some rest today! Don’t think I don’t notice you walking around at night!”

Absolutely no privacy in the house, Siyeon still shared the stiff bed with Yubin and Gahyeon, while her parents slept on the floor. It was probable that everyone knew all along and didn't want to confront her about it; She shouldn't have thought she could move quietly in such a small space.

She folded the money and tucked it away into her pocket, snorting, “I’ll be sneakier next time.”

* * *

Rather than get the rest she needed, Siyeon went to see Miss Minji at her library, which had been recently upgraded. The walls expanded and more books, ranging from children to young adult, were given, now with a special space in the back for anyone who simply wanted to read. She was finally able to make a living out of it after a long discussion with the tax collector about him paying her for educating the village children.

“Good afternoon, Siyeon.” Miss Minji had just finished organizing a book back on its shelf.

“Afternoon, Miss Minji. How was class today?”

“It was marvelous! Kids are learning faster every day.”

“Yubin didn’t come by?”

“She’ll show up later today. The kids like reading to her.” She placed another book back on its shelf. “Already finished your day’s work?”

“Yes, papa said to head home, but I wanted to see you before I attempt any napping.”

“Sweet as always, Siyeon,” she said, smiling warmly and motherly. “Well, I’m heading out for a little lunch. Would you like to join?”

“Yes, ma’am.” She smiled back and followed out of the library.

“I must head to the market first, dear. Since you’ll be joining, I’ll make your favorite beef stew for you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that—”

“Nonsense, Siyeon, I’m more than happy to cook for you.”

Siyeon carried all of the items needed as Miss Minji bought them. It was rather expensive—fresh beef, a can of broth, carrots, potatoes, and the needed salt and pepper. She always felt a spike of anxiety hearing the prices of the market goods, and they were higher now than they were when she was younger.

After the market trip, they went to Miss Minji’s dwelling, which wasn’t much. In fact, it was one of the smallest houses in the village. There was just enough for one person, filled with only essentials. Kid-Siyeon, at one point, had said that it was dull. It was a rude comment, but Miss Minji simply laughed. The house stayed the same all these years and Siyeon found it rather fitting for her.

It was quiet at first. Siyeon learned how to cook it, so she helped her, cutting the carrots in coin shapes and peeling the potatoes.

“I can tell something’s on your mind, dear.”

Siyeon paused her carrot cutting. Miss Minji always had that instinct and she was never wrong. She was annoyed by it sometimes; She never wanted to talk about whatever was on her mind anymore. So much so that she couldn't talk to her own family about her troubles. However, Miss Minji was difficult to hide from.

“Nothing, it’s just a conversation I had with papa earlier while delivering today.”

“What did you speak about?”

“I was,” she sighed, continuing her task, “I was wondering if he ever thought about trying to get out of the village. As in, if he ever wanted to earn more money and be able to live in a rich town.”

“What did he say?”

“He said no. He’s perfectly happy with everything as it is.”

Miss Minji dropped the cubed pieces of meat into the boiling pot of broth. “Are you happy here?”

Siyeon chuckled, nervous and feeling a pang in her chest, the knife in her hand now unsteady. She said, “Honestly, Miss Minji, I’m… not sure.”

“You don’t have to feel bad for feeling that way, Siyeon.”

“I know.” Siyeon chewed on her lower lip, then asked, “Have you ever thought about it?”

Miss Minji hummed, grabbing her wooden spoon and began stirring as Siyeon dropped the carrots with the rest of the contents, “As you can see, I don’t have a spouse, nor do I have children of my own. My mother kept telling me to marry a wealthy man, which, truthfully, I considered at one point.”

“You don’t anymore?”

“Well… Before she passed away, she admitted that we were one of the richest families when I was an infant. And then, my father was unfaithful and simply threw her, us, away for his mistress.” Miss Minji dried her hands with one of nearby rags, chuckling, “I rambled a bit, but I’m happy that this is my life. I’m content here.”

“Why would she tell you to marry back in if she was done wrong by him?”

“Going from wealthy to this is quite a shock, isn’t it? She wanted it to happen before she passed so she could have that life again.”

“So… it was for—”

“Her own gain, yes. I loved my mother, but… I don’t know about that plan. It was selfish on her part and unpleasant to think about on my part. So, the short answer: I’ve thought about it, but I never desired it.”

Siyeon nodded, feeling terrible for thinking about it at all. She didn’t like that she was slightly unhappy where she was. She doesn’t really know where this feeling was coming from.

Well, she had an idea as to why… It made her sick to her stomach.

Miss Minji was quiet after that, and they went on with their lunch.

* * *

Siyeon returned home after, stomach full and was yawning every few feet. Her home had its dim light pouring through the door’s cracks, therefore, her mother was home, resting and ready for the next day of labor.

Entering, her mother was setting down a loaf of bread on their small kitchen table. Her mother was always a small woman, frail and didn’t speak loudly very much.

“Hi mama,” she greeted, kissing the side of her head.

“Hello dear. How was delivering with your papa today?”

“The same as always. He told me to rest for the day. I visited Miss Minji just now, so I’m going to take a nap, okay?”

“Okay, dear, I’ll wake you for supper.” The conversation seemed to be over, but then she said, “Oh! Siyeon, I have something to talk about with you and her sisters later on.”

“Alright, mama.”

She acted normal, but that made her curious and a little unsettled. After she placed her little amount of money with her savings in her satchel in the dresser, she kicked her moccasins off and got into her side of the bed

How could she get any kind of rest after her mother told her that…?

Nonetheless, she shut her eyes and turned on her side, her back pressing to the wall.

* * *

A pillow struck her side, jolting Siyeon awake. Once again, Gahyeon was the one who did it.

“I told you that’s how you wake her up!” Gahyeon turned to Yubin, who was standing by with a confused look on her face.

“It’s supper already?”

“Yup! Yubinnie was shaking you, but you weren’t getting up. Anyway, get up! Mama made sunny side-up and I was able to make some butter today for the bread!” Gahyeon skipped to the tiny kitchen, where the chabudai table and pillows were all set up.

Yubin held her hand out and Siyeon grabbed it, helping her get up from bed. “You were able to get some shut eye, huh?”

“Does everyone know I wake up in the middle of the night?”

“You’re not subtle about getting out of bed.”

She grumbled, her cheeks feeling lightly warm from how embarrassing it was that everyone knew of her inability to sleep. She might as well never leave that bed ever again.

Their parents and Gahyeon were already sitting on their designated pillows and they didn’t start eating until the two sat down.

“So, mama,” Siyeon said as she ripped a part of her bread and dipped it in the small jar of butter, “you said you needed to talk to us about something?”

“Yes!” She placed her bread down. “It’s something from the next door neighbor.”

“Oh,” Gahyeon grumbled, “you mean that jerk that stole our water?”

“Gahyeon.” Yubin muttered, giving her a light nudge to her arm.

“It’s true!”

“Yes, Gahyeon dear.” Their mother smiled sweetly. “I thought it was a whole family with all that water, but, turns out, it was a single, high-maintenance woman.”

“Oh, god…” Gahyeon muttered, earning another nudge from Yubin.

“I saw her in the morning leaving and I didn’t think much of her. Later, at the bakery, she was there with two other women, so visibly disgusted by the village.” She ate a portion of her runny egg before continuing, “It’s difficult to not listen in on conversation and, get this, they all used to work at the royal castle.”

“No way…” Gahyeon’s eyes glimmered with amazement. “We’re living next to someone who used to be up close with the royal family… That doesn’t make her less annoying. Actually, now she annoys me even more!” Another nudge into her arm for that.

“You three know why I’m mentioning this, right?”

“Wait…” Yubin crossed her arms and leaned over on the table. “Are you saying… we should go and try to work there?”

“Yes! One of them stated they all fell into deep trouble. It’s a long shot, but you three should travel and see if those jobs are available. It’s only been a week.”

Meanwhile, Siyeon was silent, staring down at their food and taking in the information. She could hear their happy tones, but her body didn’t want to feel the same way. Her mind was clouded with anger whenever anything royal and related to that was spoken.

“Maybe they’ve already found people to take over those jobs…” Siyeon kept her eyes down, her fists balled up on her lap, and speaking through her teeth.

“It doesn’t hurt to try!” Her father placed his hand on her shoulder.

“It’s the royal castle… They probably already found people for it the same day they were fired…”

Her blood was boiling hot, her body trembling and her eyes burning with hot tears.

“Hey, Siyeon…” Yubin placed her hand on her back.

“I’m just saying it wouldn’t be crazy to think that!”

“Siyeon, it’s just a suggestion.”

“I’m making a suggestion too! What’s the point of going at all?!”

“Is something wrong—”

“NO!” She banged her fists on the table, making all of the items on top jump at the sheer force.

She was breathing heavily, the tears dripped down her face and landed on her shirt. She sniffled, trembling as little whimpers exited her throat. The silence was deafening and everyone’s eyes were on her, unable to move closer to her.

She stood up and bolted out, slamming the door behind her, welcomed by the barren dirt street, the sun still setting. She sat on the floor, her back against her home’s wall, knees to her chest, and sobbing all of her explosive anger. She never acted this way before. She’d been angry and yelled before, but not to the point she was aggressive like this.

The front door opened, but she didn’t dare look.

“Hey Siyeon,” Yubin sat down next to her, placing her hand on her back again.

She choked out, “I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay… I understand. It’s a weird suggestion, isn’t it?” She weakly laughed. “We’re used to living here and working odd jobs. All of a sudden, we’ll potentially be working in a castle with consistent jobs and a consistent amount of pay.”

“Yeah…” Siyeon wouldn’t dare tell her why she was truly feeling this way.

“It was just mama’s suggestion.”

“I know…”

"We don't want you to be upset; We don't have to go."

She sighed. If she let her stubbornness override, it would simply be selfish of her. She loved her family and she’d go through hell and back for them. They were the most important thing in her life, and was the only thing convincing her it was a good idea. On top of that, Yubin and Gahyeon could experience something outside of the village! It should be a safe assumption that jobs in the royal castle paid well enough… Hopefully, anyway.

“I’ll do it.”

“What?”

“I’ll go with you guys about those jobs.”

Yubin smiled a little, looking and observing her like she was trying to find hesitation. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Yubin.”

“Okay.” She stood up and held her hand out. “Let’s go back inside then.”

Siyeon removed her glasses to dry her face with her arm, then stood up with Yubin's support, placing them on again as they walked back inside.

“I’m so sorry, mama,” Siyeon went to her and kneeled down, hugging her from behind and resting her cheek on her shoulder.

“It’s fine, dear,” she patted her hand comfortingly. “Perhaps I should’ve told it in a gentle way.”

“You told it perfectly fine; I was just in shock.” She went back to her pillow. “But I’ll do it. We’ll go see the castle and see if we can get those jobs.”

“That’s wonderful, wolf pup!” Her father hooked his arm around her shoulders.

There was a sudden single bang on the door, followed by tired grumbling and a door slamming next door. That was certainly their water-stealing neighbor; His booming voice must’ve broke through the walls.

They all shared a look with each other and then snickered as quietly as they could.

“Well then,” her mother spoke with a low voice, “How about you leave in the morning? I want you all to be well-rested for your trip.”

Siyeon wasn’t ready to go so soon, but if she stalled, she wouldn’t be able to go at all. She was ready to have another outburst until she looked towards her sisters, who nodded and smiling reassuringly at her.

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see yall next saturday (or sunday it depends)!!


	3. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyoooo im busy all weekend so i decided to post this early instead!  
> enjoy!!

Siyeon never got any sleep that night.

She was first to get up and first to get ready for the day. She helped her father, who woke up after her, with Captain and his harnesses. His optimism lifted her spirits a smidge, just enough for him to not notice her low mood.

They finished their task and dusted off their hands. Her father looked down at her with his shining grin. “I see you’re bringing your satchel your mama made for you.”

“Of course, mama said she pricked her fingers a lot to make it. Plus, I have to keep my savings somewhere. I’d love to visit back here, if they let me, so I could give you my earnings.”

“Nonsense, my daughter! This money is your earning. You must keep it all for yourself.”

“But—”

“No, my wolf pup! I raised you to be a hard worker! And all of your hard work should be rewarded for you only! Your mama and I will do just fine.”

Siyeon smiled and nodded, “Okay… At least let me buy you a hardy supper when I can visit you.”

“Sounds fair to me!” Her father then went into the house, “Yubin, Gahyeon! We’re all set!”

Gahyeon skipped out the door and got on the wagon in an instant, laughing and bouncing where she sat. Yubin followed after, holding a book for the trip.

“You three be good now.” Their mother walked out, wrapping herself in a gray shawl.

“I’ll miss you, mama,” Siyeon embraced her, kissing the side of her head once more. “Don’t work too hard at the bakery, please?”

“It’s not a difficult job, dear. I’ll be fine.”

Siyeon then gasped, pulling back from her and turning to her dad, “Can we visit Miss Minji, papa?”

“Of course!”

After hugging their mother one more time, they left for the tiny trip to Miss Minji’s home.

“I’ll stay here while you three say your goodbyes to her.”

“Okay, papa.” Siyeon hopped off the wagon first, followed by Yubin and then Gahyeon.

Siyeon knocked on the door, waiting a few seconds before it opened, welcomed by Miss Minji, dressed in what she wears for the library—a pretty, light blue dress.

“Oh, you three!” Her smile grew into her big, contagious grin. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“You see, Miss Minji, we’re heading off to the Sinnomia Royal Castle.”

Miss Minji’s smile fell and her eyes widened at that.

She continued, “Yeah, I know. Mama overheard the castle allegedly has jobs open, so we’re going to check.”

Miss Minji smiled at all of them again, the look in her eyes softening, glimmering from how proud she was.

She stopped at Siyeon for a moment longer. Siyeon knew in that look that she never forgot about that time when Siyeon broke down sobbing in her library. That was probably one of the big reasons why she was shocked.

“I’m glad you guys are going. I hope you all succeed in obtaining those jobs.”

They all went in for a group hug, warm and love flowing between them.

“Thank you for teaching us, Miss Minji,” Yubin said.

“Thank you for being patient with us, Miss Minji,” Gahyeon said.

Siyeon paused and closed her eyes, her gentle smile on her lips, “Thank you for always being there, Miss Minji.”

“You’re all going to make me cry,” she chuckled as she pulled away, a slight glossiness in her eyes. “You all go forth before I do! Work hard, you three, okay?”

After one more group embrace, they went back to their wagon where their father was already ready to go, smiling at them with a wide, proud grin.

Siyeon sank in the situation. This was really happening. She was going to the castle. She swore to herself that she’d never get _close_ to the richest area of Sinnomia, let alone the castle itself! There was a tightening in her chest, knowing what this entailed and who she had to interact with. Her second thoughts couldn’t be helped; Her lips kept pressing together as her words of opposition lingered in her mouth.

She then tightly clenched her teeth together, repeating to herself, ‘This is for my family’.

“Alright, my daughters!” Their father was surprisingly energetic, despite the fact he was going to send his children off. “To the castle!”

They set off, heading towards the forest Siyeon knew all too well. They went through the split in the forest, an open dirt path cutting through it with grown-out branches and healthy green leaves connecting overhead, covering the sky and blocking out its rays. They were so close to the Royal Castle of Sinnomia. Siyeon never forgot the fact that the pointy tip of that roof, the one that barely poked out above the trees, was her academy.

“We’re actually close to it, right, papa?” Yubin asked.

“Right you are!” He replied. “This trip right here should be about an hour long. And then another hour and a half through the town and then we should be there!”

“Woah…” Gahyeon’s eyes widened. “I thought we lived miles away from it!”

“The trees are deceiving, aren’t they?” Their father laughed heartily.

“I learned from Miss Minji that we’re actually a small kingdom. At least… compared places like Republic of B’Knil and Enco… and Veurelv. It’s more like a medium size kingdom.”

“I don’t think I was paying attention during that lesson,” Siyeon mumbled, scratching her head as she tried to remember when that happened.

“It was a brief one. But, from what I remember, our village is the furthest away from everyone else. The forest trees make it look really far. In a little bit, we should be able to see the castle, I think. It’s on a hill.”

Gahyeon’s face lit up after that fact, “Do you think it has a moat?”

“It most likely has a moat.”

Siyeon smiled a little at her baby sister’s child-like wonder, but then observed her surroundings. It used to make her feel free. Now, surrounded by the little holes of light attempting to light the dark forest, all it brought was heavy, bitter memories. All she felt was a tightness in her chest, a lumping growing in her throat and her eyes burning from tears attempting to escape. Most of all, memories of her lips were still imprinted against hers, her warm hands cradling her cheeks, her body pressing as close as she could to her, seared deep and had become unforgettable memories, unremovable scars that only brought sadness to her.

All she could see in her mind was her running around the thick tree trunks, laughing and feeling explosive happiness. Passing the fallen tree where they once sat everyday, it brought a deeper sadness. She could still hear her. Loud and clear. She could still see her. Beautiful as ever.

She could still feel her. Small and warm, perfect fitted with her.

Reaching the other side of the forest, turns out, a towering concrete wall surrounded the lavish town. There was a tall wooden gate, wide open for entering and leaving. It added a question. How did she ever leave? It shouldn’t be possible to leave without a guard noticing or climbing the wall. Then, the gate was definitely shut during the night.

On top of that, the academy also had another gate surrounding it. It was wide and the very pointy roof was the front and center building, where a bronze bell hung. There were a lot of hedges as well, so not much could be seen of it.

Before she knew it, they entered the richest area of Sinnomia. The richest of the rich. Lavish to the highest level. The restaurants had the latest, exotic imports. The most expensive clothes available adorned their bodies, perfectly tailored suits and high-end furs. The most precious gold and diamonds were wrapped around their wrists and necks. Even their pet dogs were well-groomed and proper like them.

“Okay,” Gahyeon turned to her sisters, a dazed look on her face, “I feel physically ill now.”

“Not as excited anymore, huh?” Yubin snickered at her.

“I still am, but considering this was here all along…” She took a deep breath. “Oh, god…”

“This is… really happening.” Siyeon forced a smile.

“There it is, my daughters! The Royal Castle of Sinnomia!”

All three turned their heads in their father’s direction. It was still slightly foggy due to distance, but they saw the extravagant, stone castle placed on a hill, their black, red, and yellow emblem on flags and banners decorated from their windows and towers. Every battlement had two guards sitting atop, keeping a close eye of the surroundings.

“Well, they’re very safe.” Yubin stated.

“How do you not get lost in there?” Gahyeon tilted her head to the side.

As Yubin and Gahyeon continued to observe the castle, Siyeon was sitting with her head down, fiddling with the end of her shirt. She couldn’t make a guess as to how she was going to react. She didn’t want to break down or lose her composure.

No, this wasn’t for her. She couldn’t let her selfishness get the best of her. She chewed on her tongue, gathering her strength and pulling herself together.

Their father halted the wagon a few feet away from the two towering guards at the castle’s gate. There was a concrete wall surrounding a moat. The moat wasn’t as big as Siyeon imagined it, thus the bridge was rather short, leading to the next surrounding wall and opening.

“This is it, my daughters!” Their father stepped down from the wagon.

“Wait, papa,” Siyeon followed, “maybe you should stay for a little bit. What if they won’t let us in?”

Yubin and Gahyeon agreed.

He nodded, “I’ll see you off. I need to stretch my legs, anyway!”

The three girls hugged their father in a group hug. His arms were long enough to embrace them altogether, lifting them off the ground.

They laughed as they got placed on their feet. After he tousled Yubin’s short hair, they walked to the two guards. They wore black and red with golden epaulets, their backs were stiff and their arms were pressed close to their torsos. In one of their hands, they held rifles, pointed to the sky and ready to be fired.

Gahyeon held Yubin’s arm as they approached.

“State your reasoning for your presence today,” one guard asked, flat and monotonous.

Siyeon said with as much confidence she could muster, “We were informed that there were available occupations.”

The two guards looked at each other, then the same one said, “Please leave the premises.”

Gahyeon scowled at the guard and Yubin rolled her eyes. Siyeon muttered a ‘thank you for informing us’ and turned back to the father, who had his arms crossed over his chest and a disappointed look on his face.

As they were walking back, a familiar carriage, white and gold embellished pulled by two white horses, arrived at the gate. Seeing it made her heart stop, memories of that day flashing in her mind. Siyeon averted her eyes, prepared to tell her father that they were unsuccessful, until she felt a tug on her sleeve.

Gahyeon had pulled on her and made her turn around, seeing a beautiful woman with long, black hair, wearing a dark red velvet dress, and an elegant gold and silver crown sitting atop of her head.

“What is happening…?” Siyeon muttered, fidgeting with her fingers.

“We should walk up to her,” Gahyeon took hold of Siyeon’s shirt and pulled her along.

That had to be the queen. As uncomfortable as she felt, it would be horrifically rude to make her approach them.

“Good morning,” Yubin seemed to have a glimmer in her eyes as she greeted her, “er, your majesty.”

“Good morning,” the beautiful woman smiled at them, “My guard informed me you are all here for available occupations.”

“Yes,” Siyeon nodded, “However, we understand that we don’t exactly… belong here. We’re from the village; We simply wanted to take our chances.”

Her eyes scanned the three girls, making Siyeon shift a little in her spot. No doubt there had been instances that a worker within the castle had ill intentions. Siyeon didn’t want to be seen as untrustworthy, but she understood if there were suspicions. Even more so since they were all commoners, the lowest rank in social status.

“Come with me,” the queen said, shocking all three of them. “We’ll speak more in the castle.”

“As in,” Gahyeon’s eyes lit up, “in your carriage?”

“Of course; I’ll permit it.”

Gahyeon let Siyeon go and squealed, skipping to the tall carriage. Siyeon was last, taking cautious steps until she was next to the carriage, climbing on. She took one last look at her father, waving him goodbye.

She felt uneasy being inside, even while sitting between her little sisters. Not only because she was inside at all—there was also a strong jasmine scent overwhelming her senses. Potentially pleasant if it wasn’t overpowering. It made her miss how her mother would use minimal amounts of rosemary in their home, just enough to add a calming smell while also saving enough for another day.

“How have you all heard of the occupations?”

The three sisters took quick glances at each other before Siyeon nudged Yubin’s side, making her speak.

“Our ma—” she then coughed, lifting her fist to cover her mouth. “Our mother overheard our neighbor speaking about having previously worked here.”

The queen nodded, a knowing smile grew on her face.

“Yes, we recently dismissed three women from the castle staff,” she said.

“Why?”

“All three weren’t kind to their fellow workers. There was an ongoing mystery for some time as people’s savings were going missing. It started out in small amounts, nothing too serious, until one day, a large sum from my safe and a precious necklace of mine had vanished.”

“That’s terrible!” Gahyeon gasped.

“Indeed. It didn’t take long to find who was stealing. Those three women created this scheme to steal and leave the castle with it in tow!” She smoothed her dress, then cleared her throat, “Therefore, I ordered the guards to escort them off my estate. Thankfully, my currency was recovered and my necklace was not tampered with. The three worked here for quite some time; It’s a shame they turned out this way.”

“Wait,” Siyeon raised a brow, “did you kick them out without any currency?”

“They stole from others. They did not deserve to keep any for themselves. Apologies for the guards rejecting you all; I shouldn’t have told them to reject anyone automatically.”

The oldest girl nodded. The neighbor was extremely bitter and angry about losing the best job she could ever have. Her stealing their cold water made it clear that it was her.

They arrived at the front of the castle and followed five feet away from the queen. The guards standing in front didn’t question them and opened the tall wooden doors, entering a spacious foyer, with a high curved ceiling and a shiny floor. The windows were high up and the sunshine poured in, perfectly down onto the middle of the floor. The walls had elaborate engravings, so elaborate that Siyeon couldn’t comprehend what they were. Gahyeon was the most fascinated, looking around with twinkles in her eyes, amazed by the large hallway-like room.

They ended up in another room, which they could only describe as a throne room. Tall pillars, long red carpet, leading up to five thrones. One of the thrones was absurdly small, like it was for a child.

Specifically a newborn toddler.

The three girls straightened their backs as the queen spun around to look at them.

“Tell me then,” she had a friendly smile on her face, “What are your names?”

“Lee Siyeon.”

“Lee Y—Yubin.”

“Lee Gahyeon!”

Siyeon caught Yubin’s little slip; She clenched her jaw to not laugh or smile.

“And I’m Queen Ryu Sera of our Kingdom of Sinnomia. It’s a pleasure to meet you all.”

The three politely bowed to her, muttering ‘nice to meet you’ and ‘it’s an honor’.

“You said you all come from the village, yes?”

“Yes,” Siyeon replied. “We worked our entire lives, your majesty. We wanted to take our chances.”

“What are some jobs you participated in?”

“I worked in a bakery with my mother and did delivery with my father.”

“I usually went to the farm and harvested the vegetables, and then I helped our village’s librarian with teaching the children how to read.” Yubin looked to Gahyeon.

“And then, I mostly worked on the farm with harvesting.”

Queen Sera nodded, indicating she was listening closely.

“But,” Siyeon added, “we’re versatile! We learn quickly if none of your occupations match.”

The queen smiled, saying, “I’ll keep that in mind, but two of you are more of a perfect fit than you think.”

The three silently gasped and their eyes widened.

Queen Sera looked at the oldest sister, “Siyeon, we have an opening in the kitchen. You’ll be working with eleven others.” Then, she looked at Yubin, “Ryu Academy, by the forest, has an opening in the primary school.” Lastly, she looked at Gahyeon, “As for you, Gahyeon…”

The youngest sister’s smile dropped. The queen was silent, too silent, and it was making Siyeon anxious for Gahyeon and how she might not be able to get whatever the third occupation was.

“Our last occupation is a chambermaid, more specifically, the personal maid for my and my daughters’ bedchambers. This was how my safe was raided and my necklace was stolen in the first place. She could’ve done worse, but I thank God she didn’t.”

“I can learn, your majesty!”

Queen Sera chuckled at her enthusiasm, “It’s a substantial amount of responsibility, Gahyeon. I expect you to make them absolutely perfect, without a speck of dust or wrinkle in sight, and I must trust you won’t invade our personal belongings—”

“You can trust me, your majesty! I won’t let you down!”

The royal looked skeptical. The last one had done a horrific, selfish act, so Gahyeon must be better and work thrice as hard.

Queen Sera gently smiles, leaning forward and tucking a lock of Gahyeon’s hair behind her ear, “I’ll give you a chance.”

Gahyeon was restless now, smiling from ear to ear, “You won’t regret it, your majesty!”

Queen Sera looked at all three of them again and smiled bigger. Siyeon's heart stopped then—she was too beautiful. “Welcome to the castle.”

The three girls turned to each other, already giggling and hopping a little.

“Follow me, I need to inform the other teachers and our kitchen staff about you two. And then, Gahyeon, you’ll be following me to where our rooms are.” Queen Sera began walking towards where they came from.

“Wait, we’re going to live inside the castle?” Gahyeon let go of Yubin’s arm and caught up to the queen.

“Why, yes, you work within my estate and it’s convenient.”

“Um,” Siyeon spoke up, “Would we be able to go visit our own home sometimes?”

She hummed, “I regret to inform you that visiting elsewhere is rare. Some staff hadn’t left the castle in years! All three of you are very much needed at all times.”

“Even me?” Yubin asked.

“Yes, lots of instructors end up staying due to parents wanting accelerated learning for their children.”

Siyeon hummed, slightly disappointed. Not the answer she wanted, but it was realistic.

She and Yubin stayed behind them, walking side by side.

“That was…” Yubin scratched the back of her neck. “easy.”

The older girl scoffed, “Yeah, it’s crazy.”

It wasn’t like a maze, but it was simply long hallways. Siyeon looked out the tall windows and it had a beautiful view of all of Sinnomia. Perhaps if she squinted enough, she could see the village.

“Yubin, the other primary teacher also happens to be named Yubin as well! She likes to be called Binnie. Or, Instructor Bae, if you’re formal.” Queen Sera knocked on a wooden door before entering. “Instructor Bae?”

It looked to be a study room inside. There were about fifteen other teachers inside, but a girl with shoulder length dark hair and formally dressed in a purple dress and white cardigan stood up.

“Yes, your majesty?” She stood up from her desk. She looked to be grading papers.

“We have a new instructor now. Her name’s also Yubin. Lee Yubin.” Queen Sera placed a gentle hand on Yubin’s back and helped her in.

Siyeon had to hold in another laugh. Yubin had been lovestruck since she’d seen Queen Sera, but now… Now, she looked completely hooked. She wasn’t a nervous or shy person; She was the most social of them. To see her so at a loss for words at the moment was strange but very endearing.

“It’s nice to meet you, Yubin.” They shook hands and bowed politely. “I’ll catch you up to speed. Don’t worry or be nervous, I’m sure you’ll become comfortable quickly.”

Siyeon sent her younger sister a knowing smile before they left.

“Instructor Bae is friendly,” Queen Sera mentioned. “She’s in safe hands.”

“Is everything provided to us, your majesty?” Gahyeon asked.

“Yes. Also, you share a chamber with your fellow staff; They should help you with how everything works.”

Siyeon wondered who she’ll be working with. It was going to be a big group, that was for sure. All she hoped was that they were nice…

“Our kitchen staff of eleven people,” Queen Sera turned to Siyeon for a second before looking forward again, “are usually working for our regular days. As you know, we aren’t a big family. We bring in many more for formal events and gatherings.”

They cut through the grand dining hall, where the longest table Siyeon’s ever seen resided, and knocked on another door. Vaguely, they could hear some… cackling?

Queen Sera entered the kitchen and, to their confusion, all eleven girls were doing something _other_ than working. Notably, two girls were using all of the spoons and breathing on them, attempting to stick them to their faces. So far, they were able to stick about three each. The rest, however, were either having casual conversation or playing a hand game of sorts.

The queen cleared her throat, “Young ladies—”

Hastily, the two girls removed the spoons and hid them behind their backs, and all of the commotion and playing halted, all of them standing and smiling innocently.

“We’ll clean them!” Spoon Girl One announced with a big toothy grin from ear to ear. Spoon Girl Two did the same, lifting a thumbs-up with all of her spoons.

“That’s wonderful and I’m relieved, but I’m simply here to introduce a new worker, Lee Siyeon.”

“New girl!” Spoon Girl One tossed all of her spoons into the sink behind them, rushing over and pulling Siyeon in. The other girls began gathering around her, happily welcoming her.

“Have fun, Siyeon!” Gahyeon waved her hand, then left with Queen Sera.

The staff eventually calmed down and introduced themselves, going by so quickly, only a few of their names stuck. She was sure of two girls—Spoon Girl One and Spoon Girl Two were Hyun Seunghee and Jeon Heejin.

They all had vastly different jobs, but Siyeon was so overwhelmed by the change of energy, she didn’t catch what each of them did. She simply kept looking at each of them, taking in how pretty they were and how some of them were definitely younger than her. Younger than Gahyeon, even.

“It’s nice to meet you all.” Siyeon bowed. She was relieved to be surrounded by friendly girls. She was worried that some of them were going to be absolute jerks, only not as openly as her neighbor was.

“So,” Seunghee, went to the apron hooks by the door, grabbed one white apron and tossed it to her, “what’s something you like to cook?”

“I don’t cook often, truthfully. I’ve baked loaves of bread my whole life with my mother.”

“Why don’t you make us a batch, then?”

“Right now?”

“Yes, with such a claim as ‘your whole life’, I believe we should try it!” She squinted her eyes and placed her hand on her chin. “Unless… you’re chicken.”

Siyeon scoffed, “I’m not a chicken!”

“Get baking, then!”

Heejin placed her hands on her hips, nodding, “We’ll be the judge of it!”

“Especially me,” said one girl with a deadpan expression. She was giving Siyeon a serious glare. The other girls followed, now all glaring at her, some crossing their arms over their chests.

If Siyeon recalled anything from their introductions, she was Kim Hyunjin and she was the pantler. Meaning, she was in charge of the bread pantry and making sure each loaf was up to standard.

“Am I supposed to be scared of any of you?” Siyeon stayed neutral.

Almost simultaneously, they all dropped their ‘threatening’ front, impressed grins on their faces.

“I like you already.” Seunghee pointed at her.

She was given a quick rundown of how the oven worked and where all the ingredients were. The Upper Class used a type of bread called Manchet, something Siyeon wasn’t familiar with at all. She only ever used rye bread, and it was the only kind of bread she ever had. Luckily, Hyunjin let her eat some from her pantry, taking in its flavors and textures. It was a small, round shape, soft and it was sweet, but it wasn’t sweet enough. To her relief, she didn’t have to make drastic changes.

After that, it was muscle memory. She mixed warm water, sugar, and yeast together, letting it sit for five minutes before adding the flour and salt. (She then added some ingredients she learned from her mother that added a sweeter, mouth-watering kick.) After that, it was just a waiting game, but the whole process was embedded into her brain, time passed in a blink of an eye. Even with her audience watching her every move, she was so used to working in places everyone could see, it was like they weren’t there at all.

Siyeon kept herself busy while waiting by cleaning her workspace and putting all of the leftover items she used back in their original places.

By the time her two batches of loaves were done, Siyeon cut them out of their pans. They weren't round, but she made them in the traditional loaf shape she was used to. Placing them on separate plates, she cut one of them into individual slices for everyone.

“You moved like a professional,” Hyunjin snatched a warm slice from the plate, still giving her the shifty eyes, “but does it taste like a professional did it?”

Once they all grabbed a slice and took a bite, they were speechless, closing their eyes and humming in satisfaction, pleased smiles on their faces as they chewed.

“Am I a professional now?” Siyeon chuckled at their reaction.

Heejin nodded, taking another bite. She spoke after chewing, “We should replace all that stupid bread in the pantry with this…”

“It’s melting in my mouth.”

“It’s so sweet but not overpowering.”

“It’s so soft.”

The compliments kept coming until it was Hyunjin, the last person. She was still on her first bite and chewing. Everyone was waiting for her utmost important opinion.

“It… It tastes,” Hyunjin took another bite, humming in satisfaction, and saying with her mouth full, “like home…” She then hugged Siyeon, continuing to eat her bread slice. It was kind of awkward as she ate the rest, pulling back and said with a glimmer in her eyes, “Let’s give this to the family!”

“Oh… I don’t know, I don’t want to break their normal—”

“No way, Siyeon! You won’t be breaking anything! They get bread with their supper and afternoon tea. It’ll be the same! Only difference is just it’ll be your bread sent from heaven itself instead of those sorry excuses in the pantry!”

Siyeon laughed aloud from the sudden praise. The worst Queen Sera could do was tell her to not do it again.

“Just cut this one up and we’ll serve it to them!” One of the other girls with short brown hair, Jo Haseul was her name, said, then looked at her watch. “Speaking of, it’s almost afternoon tea! We must start preparing!”

Siyeon just nodded, “Whatever you guys want.”

She was nervous, though. The village loved it, but maybe it was only to ‘village standards’. This family’s taste had to be so exquisite, there must be a miniscule mistake no one else could taste.

‘Like home’. Did that mean Hyunjin used to be from the village? Siyeon probably saw her once or twice but couldn’t remember.

Siyeon went to the bread pantry and there was _too much_ bread. There were too many for their shelf life. So, she had to check if the loaves still maintained their softness or firmness and if they were still fresh at all. Hopefully they were having an event tomorrow or there were _lots_ of people in the castle, or else this wasn’t good.

“Siyeon!” Heejin called out. “We’re sending off the bread!”

“Alright!” She replied, still scratching her head at the overstocked pantry.

“Is there a problem?” Hyunjin came up to her.

“Depends… Do we feed everyone in the castle?”

“Other than Queen Sera’s entire army, pretty much. We give them out at different times of the day.”

“How many people is that?”

“About… fifty?”

“Don’t you think this is, uh, too much?”

Hyunjin hummed, rubbing her chin, “With a shelf life of five-to-seven days in this temperature, it should be fine, no?”

“I… I guess? Sorry, I’m used to making only enough to be made and gone the same day.”

“Well… you’ve made the best bread to ever exist, you tell me the best course of action.”

Before Siyeon could propose an idea, Seunghee called her, “Siyeon!”

“Yes?!”

“Queen Sera wants to talk with you!”

Siyeon sighed, slow as she closed her eyes. This was it. She was never going to be able to bake her mother’s recipe ever again.

She left the pantry and saw everyone was excited and laughing. Seunghee and Heejin patted her on the back as she walked by. Siyeon only chuckled, shaking her head.

She took a deep breath, knowing well that the entire royal family was outside, then cautiously walked out. She was right, seeing Queen Sera at the very end of the long dining table, along with her three daughters sitting near her. She saw the dark-haired princess in particular as soon as she walked in, averting her eyes.

“Siyeon!” Queen Sera placed her teacup down. “These are my daughters: Bora, Handong, and Yoohyeon.”

One of the princesses, the one with the long brown hair, Princess Yoohyeon, cleared her throat.

“Oh, and that’s Pie.” The little brown puffball dog did a tiny yap as a greeting from the seat next to the princess. “That’s her favorite spot.”

That explained the tiny throne in that room.

“Nice to meet you,” Siyeon bowed to all of them. She bowed to Bora last and, as her eyes opened, her gaze lingered on her a little longer, seeing the surprise, dejected, look in her eyes. She clenched her jaw. Bora had grown up so much more beautiful than she last remembered. Her sharp features had matured and looked very much like a princess, heavenly and divine. Siyeon felt a strange sensation, a tingle, in her lips as she glanced at hers.

The younger girl forced her smile as she looked at Queen Sera. “You wanted to speak with me?”

“Yes! Seunghee told me you baked this bread and it is absolutely delicious! Who taught you that?”

“Thank you so much. I learned it from my mother. I hope you don’t mind that I made it today.”

“Not at all! I would love it if you baked it everyday, if that’s fine with you.”

“I am more than happy to make it for you all everyday.” Siyeon chuckled. “My mother would faint if she were to hear the queen loves her recipe.”

“I would love to tell her directly,” the queen nodded, smiling bigger. “I look forward to it.”

“Thank you, Queen Sera.” That was easy. Not complaining. Siyeon bowed again. She bowed again to the princesses, “It was nice meeting you all.”

Leaving the dining hall, she took a silent sigh of relief. It was a miracle she didn’t have an emotional breakdown in the middle of nowhere.

Just force those memories away and make her a stranger again.

As she entered the kitchen, the entire staff pounced on her and excitedly did their ‘I told you so’ moment, talking over each other.

Siyeon just looked back and forth between them, a confused expression on her face, but they weren’t letting up. All she did was wait it out, nodding as if she could hear a single word they were saying.

* * *

When the family finished their meal and the staff finished cleaning the table, they prepared their supper for the night. They made a simple meal of cooked pork and fava beans, paired with red wine or plain milk.

It was mostly time for everyone to get to know Siyeon, where she came from, and how she felt already on her first day.

“I came from the village too!” Hyunjin beamed as Siyeon stated where she was from.

“I was going to ask you since you made that comment,” Siyeon beamed in reply.

“Yes, I remember that delicious bread from when I was younger! I never thought I was going to have it again!” She was about to eat her beans before she set her spoon down. “We never saw each other, I guess?”

“Perhaps we happened to, we just don’t remember… How old were you when you came here?”

“Before… ten years old?”

“How did you all get here?” Siyeon looked amongst the group, who were all now paying attention and sharing looks with each other.

Their stories began. The majority of them, (seven of them, including Seunghee and Heejin), were ‘born’ into it, as their parents used to work in the castle and now it was their turn to work in it. A few of them, (three of them, including Hyunjin), were from the village, but, because they all had to work, they never came across each other. They were all like Siyeon, and had heard of the open work from overhearing someone.

And one, who Siyeon remembered was named Ha Sooyoung, had an interesting story to tell.

“I used to be in an affluent family,” Sooyoung said. “I can’t recall what happened, though I can say that my family was in some shifty business and were caught. This is our punishment.”

“I’m sorry that happened…”

She shrugged, replying, “It’s… fine. I still miss all of the riches and having never worked a day in my life, but… This is nice, strangely. Perhaps even nicer.”

“Is it because of us?” Heejin asked with a smile, clearly trying to get a compliment.

“Uh…” She looked her up and down with a puzzled look on her face. “Sure…”

* * *

After their meal, they all walked together to their shared room, which was secluded and away from everyone else.

“We wake up the earliest, so we’re the closest to the kitchen!” Seunghee was walking a little too fast, but nothing Siyeon couldn’t handle.

“Here we are!” They approached an ordinary dark brown door and twisted the doorknob, heading inside.

There were bunk beds against the walls, all having identical blankets and all had folded white clothes on top of them. There was a long window on the furthest wall, a round table with two chairs, perfectly set to observe the outside sky.

“You’re sharing a bunk with me!” Seunghee pulled Siyeon by her hand and went to the furthest bunk in the room. “You’ll be sleeping on the top one.”

“Okay.” She nodded.

“And, since you’re new here, you can be the first to use the bathroom! Use it for as long as you want!”

It sounded ridiculous, but that really was a privilege. Siyeon climbed up the bunk ladder and set her satchel against the wall, looking at the items provided to her: a toothbrush and tooth cream, a towel, a nightgown, and plain shirts and pants to last her the week. She left the nightgown under her pillow (she won’t be wearing that), placing the extra clothes by her feet, then took the brush, cream, and towel, heading to the bathroom.

The large bathroom had a bathtub twice the size of her village bed and had two sinks. There was a pleasant, fresh smell inside, like lavender. She turned on one of the sinks and placed her hand under the running water.

Cold water.

She didn’t have to dread rushing to use cold water. It was just… readily available. There was nice soap. She had nice, extra clean clothing. There was _true privacy_.

There was a nice, soft bed. There was food ready anytime. The entire castle was in a comfy temperature. She was going to be paid better than before. She didn’t have to worry about not having enough.

Compared to what she had in her village, it felt overloaded. There was too much around them to take in all at once.

There were too many things to adjust to.

Her eyes fell and her shoulders slumped. She’d never seen Bora look so dejected in the years she’d known her.

What was going to happen…?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see yall next saturday!!


	4. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmaooooo turns out im busy this weekend again so here yall go!  
> enjoy!

It was shockingly easy for a time.

Siyeon would say it was the easiest month of her life.

Her job kept her away from the Ryus for the most part. She stayed in the kitchen, waking up early to bake her specialty bread for the family and, as the days go on, for the other workers in the castle as well. It felt like being home, so she was more than happy to make it.

She enjoyed her time with the kitchen crew, working, getting to know, and sharing the room with them.

The only times she ever interacted with the royals were when she helped serve them with the crew, and she only made quick eye contact with a polite smile and nod.

However, Bora looked more hurt by the day.

Truthfully, Siyeon wished she could do something. She was upset as well. Despite the princess having left her behind, Siyeon understood why. She was sad about that and hated being lied to… but she’d never wish for Bora to be sad.

She always thought about talking to her, though it seemed Bora was always extremely busy. She had casually asked Seunghee about what the royal family usually did (which was a valid question regardless).

She learned that Bora was busy spending time with the man she decided she was going to marry. As the eldest of her sisters, she was obligated to find a husband in order to inherit the crown and be the next queen of Sinnomia. Upon hearing that, Siyeon forced her jaw so tightly clenched together, she could break her teeth. From the sounds of it, she was under pressure.

She wished she could do something. She really did.

Siyeon was busy, alone in the kitchen, organizing the pantry. She was surprised Hyunjin allowed her to do so on her own; She seemed strangely territorial about it. Siyeon had done well in making sure every new batch made would be gone the exact same day. Seunghee asked if she wanted to join them in a casual game of baseball, since they had free time, but she declined. Truthfully, she wanted some alone time away from the rambunctious kitchen crew.

“Siyeon…?”

She froze, gulping at the familiar voice. Something in her kept her in place, pretending she was still busy with organizing. “Yes,” she kept her voice steady, “your highness?”

“There’s a delivery of fresh produce at the front of the castle,” Bora continued. “My mother said… I remember you did delivery before and thought you’d be a great help… There’s an abundance, so will you please head outside when you’re done…?”

Siyeon nodded, still turned away from her. The change in wording from 'my mother said' to 'I remember' made her heart jump. She was practically screaming inside, yelling at herself to turn around, but she couldn’t. “Yes, I’ll be there. Thank you.”

She waited until her footsteps were further away, then it became silent again.

Releasing the breath she didn’t realize she was holding, she turned around, removed her apron, and went to her next task.

That wasn’t how she wanted their first interaction after so many years apart to be. It wasn’t a good time—she’ll have to forgive it.

The door to the room the academy’s teachers used, for when they graded their students’ papers, was open a crack, a sliver of sunlight pouring into the hallway and vague laughter was coming from inside. More like giggling, to be more accurate.

Siyeon decided to peek inside and saw Yubin and Binnie were there. Adjusting her glasses, she saw the two were talking to each other, rather than grading the tall stack of assignments next to them. It didn’t look too strange, just casual conversation, though they were sitting and looking at each other more closely than they should. Then, Binnie reached her hand over and tucked some of Yubin’s hair behind her ear. Siyeon expected some kind of reaction, but her sister simply smiled bigger, as if it was a natural thing they did.

Yubin looked to be a charmer, once her initial shyness went away. She’d always been interpersonal and friendly to others; Getting comfortable with her was practically instant.

Siyeon warmly smiled and went on like she never saw it, heading to the front of the castle.

* * *

It wasn’t as abundant as she imagined it to be. She had done more for that Bistro Aix restaurant; It was mostly the walking that was the tiring part. She yawned as she went back to the kitchen, after accidentally returning to the front when she already accomplished her task, until tiny barking started becoming louder and louder behind her.

She turned around and saw Pie running towards her. Kneeling down, the little puffball jumped on her immediately, panting and jumping excitedly. Siyeon always loved animals and Pie was so cute, it was hard  _ not _ to love her.

“You got her!”

Siyeon looked up and Princess Yoohyeon was running, breathing heavily as she held the front of her dress up to not trip forward.

“She doesn’t seem hard to catch,” Siyeon grabbed the dog as she stood up again, carrying Pie as she still panted, tongue hanging out of her mouth.

“She’s faster than usual today,” she chuckled. “Thank you for stopping her. We were supposed to go outside to the courtyard to play there, but she ran off.” She took Pie from Siyeon’s arms.

“No problem. She’s very cute!”

“I know, right?! Though, she scared Gahyeon a couple days ago while she was cleaning my and Bora’s bedchambers.”

“Oh, yeah,” Siyeon rubbed the back of her neck, not surprised that her little sister was startled, “she’s afraid of dogs. Not deathly, if you keep the dog calm she’ll be able to pet her, but nothing too sudden, please.”

Her baby sister was crying when she arrived home from working at the farm one day. The farm's big Border Collie scared the life out of her when he ran at her. He most likely only wanted a few pats on his head, but it had scarred her for life from any kind of dog, regardless of size.

“I felt terrible. Pie simply wanted to play with her.”

“I know, I know. I can tell she’s good, but give Gahyeon some time.”

“I’ll keep a close eye on her.” Yoohyeon gave her a big smile, then saying, “on Pie! Not Gahyeon.”

“I appreciate that, Princess Yoohyeon.”

“Oh, just Yoohyeon! It’s okay, I’m not that strict on those titles. Only at events and things of that nature.”

“I’ll remember that. Thank you then, Yoohyeon.”

They split ways after, leaving Siyeon feeling better after her tiring walk she didn’t need to take. She yawned once more as she went back to the kitchen, where. she heard laughing behind the door. They finished their game of baseball from the looks of it.

As she opened it, all of the girls had opened a box of green grapes and they were all paired up to throw grapes into the other’s mouths.

“Siyeon! Right on time!” Heejin greeted, but then got hit in the forehead by a grape. “Hey!”

“Seunghee twenty, Heejin zero!”

“You’re allowed to do that?” Siyeon raised her brow, an amused smile on her face.

“Uh…” Seunghee was about to throw another grape. She then turned to her, chuckling and waving it off, “They won’t notice.”

“Alright…” Siyeon nodded.

“Come on!” Heejin waved her hands, wanting her to come over. “Join me! Maybe we can work together and I’ll finally be able to get one point!”

The rest of the crew snickered at her. Heejin hadn’t been able to get a single point, making her pout and glare at everyone.

Siyeon shrugged, snickering as she walked over, “Just one point, Heejin.”

“I just need one!”

Siyeon stood next to her as she watched Seunghee dramatically and exaggeratedly stretch her arms and, for whatever reason, her legs. She tossed the grape and, with no effort at all, the village girl caught it in her mouth, chewing it right away.

Everyone watched with their mouths wide open, in complete shock, as she chewed.

“It’s really fresh,” she said as she chewed.

“How—” Heejin was laughing, still in disbelief. “How did… What—”

“I have sisters. Whenever we could get grapes, they always wanted to throw them at me. Couldn’t let them go to waste, so it’s pretty easy for me now.”

Seunghee crossed her arms, an impressed grin on her face, saying, “I’m starting to think you’re a master at everything.”

“Maybe I am,” Siyeon played back. She looked down at the ground. “Let’s pick these up and get to organizing the produce, okay?”

“Ay, ay, Master of Everything!” Seunghee saluted. Half of them copied the gesture, while the other half playfully groaned in annoyance.

With a quick-paced workflow, they were able to finish before supper, making hearty meals of roasted turkey, boiled ham, pea soup, and vegetables, along with Siyeon’s ‘heaven sent’ bread, as per Queen Sera’s request. Siyeon decided, since they had some turkey left, she cooked it and placed it on a smaller plate for Pie.

She noticed right away that Bora wasn’t there.

“Um,” she looked at the empty chair, “where’s…”

“Oh,” Queen Sera set her teacup down, “Duke Younghyun of Dyyma Empire has taken her for supper elsewhere.”

“I like him the most out of all of her other suitors,” Princess Handong said before sipping some of her soup from her spoon. “I’m glad she chose him.”

“Did she have a lot?” Siyeon asked, keeping a steady voice.

“I cannot tell you how many she had!” Queen Sera sounded to be very proud of that. “For as long as I can remember, all of the princes, dukes, and earls have attempted to court her. Duke Younghyun has courted her the longest. They seem to be a good fit as well.”

“I still believe she was sneaking out to see him whenever she was ‘diligently practicing archery.’” Yoohyeon added as she fed a piece of turkey to Pie.

“As in star-crossed lovers?” Princess Handong lifted her brow, almost as if she found that ridiculous.

Star-crossed…?

“That’s rather absurd,” Queen Sera chuckled. “If she wanted to see him often, I would’ve allowed it.”

“He’s been courting her since we were in primary school; I don’t think you would have.”

Siyeon’s brain wanted to explode from everything they were saying. All of her questions had been answered in a matter of minutes.

Now, she felt more hopeless than ever. Even if Bora wanted Siyeon, it was impossible and, by common belief, immoral. The last thing she wanted to do to her was get her condemned by her own family.

“Thank you for the meal, Siyeon.” Queen Sera’s voice brought her back to Earth.

“Enjoy.” She turned on her heel and went back into the kitchen.

Wonder what Bora was thinking in all of this… Siyeon wanted to believe that Bora had vanished from the forest because she was forced to focus on finding a husband and preparing to inherit the throne. Perhaps she was doing so to protect Siyeon from what could potentially happen if they were found out! She was everything Bora shouldn’t be anywhere near in the first place.

Siyeon took a deep breath and went to help the kitchen crew with putting all of their dirty cookware together to wash later.

* * *

Siyeon decided, suddenly, that she needed some time to herself. The kitchen crew were curious and slightly nosy, but luckily their curiosity didn’t last long. She took the time out and walked around, finding the carpeted areas of the floor pleasant to walk on, admiring the expensive decorations, and, once in a while, there were family portraits hanging around on the walls. In the photos, her father stopped showing up when all of the princesses were still very young—Bora couldn’t be older than five.

Seeing Bora through the years flashed memories in the village girl’s mind. They practically grew up together—how could she not think about it? There was a strange ache in her heart from them, wanting to remember them with a smile, wishing to relive it all over again to experience that same happiness once more. Instead, it was only wistful, rewriting it all in her head as to how it  _ should’ve _ ended.

Was it still over? Or was this starting over again…?

A figure turned the corner into the hallway Siyeon was in, making her nearly run the other direction from being so startled.

“Siyeon? Siyeon, it’s only me!”

Siyeon turned back and squinted her eyes, pushing her glasses closer to her face. It was becoming difficult to see through them; Hopefully, she could fix them soon before she couldn’t see at all. “Yubin?”

“What are you doing out here?” Her younger sister asked her once she was a couple feet away.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

Yubin had a black jacket in her arms, holding it closer. Vaguely, she saw her cheeks become a tiny pink tint. “I’m going to meet Binnie in one of the rooms… I—”

“Just head over there,” Siyeon waved her hand, as if shooing her away. “You two got pretty close recently, huh?”

Yubin looked down at her feet, her voice becoming a little quieter, “She’s very kind and easy to talk to. Plus! She found a secret way out of the castle so we could go to the garden and have some alone time.”

“It’s alright, Yubin. Go get your girl.” This took Yubin aback, making Siyeon burst into laughter.

The older girl sent a wink to Yubin, who was now blushing brighter than ever and sped off down the hall.

She kept her smile, amused how easily flustered her sister was.

Siyeon thought the surprises were over, about to turn the corner, only for another figure to crash into her, nearly sending her to the floor.

She almost released anger before she realized it was only her baby sister, dressed in her nightgown.

“Gahyeon, it’s late!” Siyeon fixed Gahyeon’s hair. “You’re the family’s personal chambermaid, you need to rest well!”

“I’m sorry, but I overheard Yubin talking to Binnie about going somewhere, so I was curious!” She tried to look behind Siyeon, but the taller girl blocked her from leaving her sight. She huffed, looking at her with furrowed brows, but her expression softened right away. “She likes Binnie, doesn’t she?”

“Well, yeah. I don’t think she’d go see her if she despised her.”

“No, she likes Binnie, doesn’t she?” She emphasized ‘likes’, raising her eyebrows as she did.

Her eyes widened. “What makes you think that?”

“I was passing by one of the study rooms earlier today and they were in there. Yubinnie looks at her like how papa looks at mama.”

Siyeon hummed, nodding. How could Siyeon ever forget that look? Their mother and father were deeply in love with each other. Their father told their love story and how, when they were in their twenties, he was working on the farm and she just happened to be there as well. He was working with the pigs while she was picking up eggs from the chicken coop. They always seemed to work on the same day and he expressed with great enthusiasm that she was incredibly beautiful and he never noticed he was gazing at her until a pig nudged his leg.

One day, their mother was leaving the coop and their father took his chance, waving hello at her. It was then a pig nudged him a little too hard and then his foot got stuck in deeper, wetter mud. The pigs’ trough full of slop was what saved him from falling completely to the ground. Somehow, that charmed her and now they were here.

Their love was always so strong and Siyeon could tell in their eyes that, even many years later, they still felt that same, strong love.

“You’re pretty observant.”

“No, Yubin’s just obvious.”

“That is true. She’s a lot like papa in that sense then. Does that mean… you’re okay with that? That a girl likes another girl?”

Gahyeon hummed, chewing on her cheek. She then shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know… I’ve never heard of it and all of those books Miss Minji had that weren’t for children were only between boys and girls. Truthfully, I feel it is a little strange…” Gahyeon then crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side, an unreadable expression on her face, “Are you… like that, too?”

Siyeon didn’t like the way it was worded. It made her feel as if she was less than human. She only ever felt romantic interest towards one person, and that person just so happened to be a girl. She was the only one she ever felt those feelings for. They were strong and it made her, at the time, feel as if she was on the top of the world.

She shook her head, replying, “No.”

Gahyeon’s eyes searched her older sister’s face, as if she was trying to find a lie.

“Okay,” she said, “I’m going to return to my room then. You should head to yours too. You wake up earlier than the rest of us, right?”

Siyeon nodded and they shared their goodbyes, heading back down the hall again. The older girl sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Her baby sister was smart… hopefully her views will change later.

Her plan with walking was to tire herself, but she felt wide awake after that. Uneasiness wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, not at all, but that moment was the most uneasy she’d ever felt. It was unheard of, so much that it was something worth sending distaste towards.

That question couldn’t leave her mind. It was like she was hearing it over and over again. It started out clear, right as she asked, and then it would echo in her head until it couldn't be heard anymore, only to repeat.

Siyeon simply wanted to share that happy feeling with someone.

Well, she did share it. Shared it with someone she couldn’t be with.

Siyeon never forgot that night. Seeing the dim lantern. Hearing her sniffling.

She closed her eyes and inhaled, slow and until she couldn’t breathe in anymore, and exhaled just as slow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see yall next friday/saturday! :)


	5. IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i lied again im earlier a bicth (me) is just too busy  
> enjoy!

Siyeon couldn’t get a wink of sleep.

She tried not to toss and turn so much while everyone else was in deep slumber, which only made it more difficult. Everyone in the room wasn’t necessarily her close friend yet; She couldn’t just wake one of them up to keep her company. That made her feel lonelier.

The next thing she knew, everyone was awake and ready for the day. The curtains were opened too quickly, burning the morning sunlight directly into Siyeon’s exhausted eyes.

Needless to say, it was already a rough start to her day.

She decided to be the last one to get ready and said she’ll meet with them later. She was quick with her morning routine: bath, fresh clothes, then brush teeth. Her hair was still a little damp, but she didn’t care.

Her heart felt a little strange. The way it was beating in her chest, irregularly fast and making it difficult for her to breathe. She felt this way before. On that day she saw Bora sitting in the carriage, looking down at her as her heart shattered into a million pieces.

“Good morning, Siyeon! Again!” Seunghee greeted her as soon as she walked in.

Everyone followed with a greeting afterwards.

“Morning, everyone.”

Siyeon grabbed her apron off the hook and tied it around her body. “Need any help?”

“Oh, no, actually, we have this!” Seunghee was busy stirring a tall pot of what smelled like poultry. “It’s an easier meal; We got this, Master of Everything!”

Siyeon chuckled at the nickname. She then sighed, “Will it be alright if I sit out for a little then? I had difficulties sleeping last night.”

“Go ahead! Just help us serve them!”

Siyeon nodded, but she still overlooked everyone doing their tasks, from the cooking chicken to the carrots being cut. Everyone else was running around keeping things clean. It was rather relaxing to only look and take in the smell of the cooking food. It certainly helped in relaxing her nerves.

“Siyeon?” Hyunjin came out of the pantry, holding a sack of flour. “Do you mind making an extra loaf today?”

“Not at all. One for yourself?”

“It’s just so good!” The pantler praised, holding the sack like a swaddled infant. “If there is anyone who ever said they disliked it, I’ll tell them their taste buds are broken!”

“Seriously!” Seunghee nearly slammed her ladle down. “Come on, it’s so good, Queen Sera said to make it a part of their meals! Even for breakfast! Oh, my God, remember when that one head chef was confident she was going to like whatever he made and she ended up becoming furious?!”

“Yeah!” Heejin pointed her knife at her. “I’ve never seen Queen Sera so hot-tempered!”

They went off on a tangent after that, telling Siyeon stories about what they’ve witnessed while working in the castle. They were not shy to admit that the last cook wasn’t pleasant to be around. ‘Annoying’ was a popular word they used to describe her.

That sounded like her neighbor in the village.

It led to more stories regarding some of the rich chefs that come for the large events, recounting how demanding they were and how they all yelled and screamed at everyone to work. It was a hectic and stressful time, with all the food and the large kitchen staff, and then the chef ran everything like a dictatorship.

“Do either of you know when the next big event is?” Siyeon asked.

“Yeah, it’s Princess Bora’s birthday!” Seunghee began ladling the perfectly cooked soup into four bowls.

Siyeon nodded, unsure how to reply. That was next month. No matter how many years passed, Siyeon still remembered it.

“Though,” Seunghee continued, “I hope she feels better this year.”

“Hopefully…” Heejin sighed, pouting.

“Bora used to be loud and happy and always laughing! But, now… not as much.”

“Especially nowadays. I wonder if she’s okay.”

Everyday, Siyeon felt more powerless by the second. She was reaching levels of frustration instead of weakness. She had to start finding a way around the castle and figure out how to get to her to have some time with each other.

“Anyway!” Seunghee had finished setting up each meal. “It’s time to serve them!”

Siyeon followed their lead, keeping her eyes down and focused on making sure the soup didn't spill.

“Good morning, you five,” Queen Sera greeted.

She muttered ‘good morning’ while Seunghee and three other girls happily greeted them. She quickly added that she’ll be making the bread for afternoon tea instead, earning an understanding reply.

“Where’s Princess Bora?”

Seunghee’s question made Siyeon’s eyes snap up and, indeed, Bora’s seat was empty again.

“She said she felt unwell.”

“Is she ill?”

“The nurse is checking at the moment. I’m confident she’ll only need a remedy, but my motherly instincts are telling me something else.”

“May I take her breakfast to her room then?” One of the girls, Kahei, who usually kept to herself and stayed around Haseul and Heejin, asked.

“Yes, you may. She’ll appreciate your kindness.”

That reminded Siyeon of the few times her mother or father would catch a cold and stay in bed. She’d do a quick work day and use her savings to make a delicious vegetable soup. It left her with barely any money in the end, but it was worth it to see them healthy again the next day.

She watched as Kahei took the tray of the soup and tea and went out.

Sighing, a pang hit in her chest.

Not even Pie sniffing and licking her hand was making her feel better. She gave the little dog a few pats before she followed the other three back inside.

“You seem to be in a low mood too, Siyeon.” Seunghee crossed her arms over her chest, pouting at her.

“I’m fine.”

“Tell you what,” Seunghee raised her voice, making everyone stop their tasks, “we have a lot of free time this day. After this, we’re going to the courtyard and play baseball.”

Everyone in the room gasped, excitedly agreeing and looking at each other with big smiles.

Siyeon sighed and looked at their faces, seeing big, cheesy grins on all of them.

“Hey, a lot of us actually do archery! Feel lucky I didn’t suggest that!” She then gave her a sly look, a smirk growing on her lips. “Unless…”

She smiled back, saying, “Fine. I’ll play some ball with you guys.”

“Yes!” Everyone cheered, pumping their fists and high-fiving each other.

Seunghee pointed her finger at Siyeon, her brows furrowed. “I swear, if you’re good at this too—”

“Relax, I’ve never played baseball. The only sport I ever did was wrestling, and that was with my sisters.”

“Can’t wait to kick your ass then!”

* * *

“Batter-up!” Heejin yelled, tossing her dirtied baseball between her hands, one wrapped with a black baseball glove.

The group put in effort to make a makeshift baseball game in the courtyard. All of the bases were laid out, they were split into five and five, with Seunghee as the catcher and Kahei as the scorekeeper, three people were out in the field, ready to run after and catch a ball if they needed to. Siyeon was given a quick rundown of the game and the position of how to hold a bat, since she was going first.

“You just want to watch me be terrible,” Siyeon chuckled as she cleaned her glasses with her shirt, squinting at Seunghee.

“Hey! I’m rooting for you!” There was a pause before she nodded, “But for your first hit, I want to see you miss.”

“Don’t worry, I know I will.”

Seunghee stood behind, ready to run to wherever the ball went. Heejin looked serious as she stood from afar, glaring and preparing her best pitch.

She sent the ball through the air, but out of fear, Siyeon shrieked and jumped out of the way.

As the group bursted into explosive laughter, Siyeon cleared her throat, going back to her place, acting calm.

“I got this! I won’t jump out of the way this time!”

Their laughter lasted for a whole minute, making Siyeon grow impatient to redeem herself.

“Okay! Okay! I’m good!” Heejin yelled, still laughing through it. She released a few more chuckles before getting back into position.

Siyeon’s heart raced as she waited, bat behind her and ready to swing. She clenched her jaw as Heejin pitched it, swinging and missing it.

“One more and you’re out, Siyeon!” Seunghee ran to get the ball.

“I remember!”

Huffing, Siyeon stretched her body, loosening her joints and nerves. Her eyebrows were scrunched together, focusing hard and steam coming out of her ears. She hit her bat against the lush green grass a few times before getting into position again.

Heejin was smirking now, confident and proud. She waited less time as she threw the ball with all of her strength.

“Hi Princess Bora!” Seunghee hollered.

Siyeon’s eyes shot up and Bora was walking by in the shade, heading to another part of the castle, waving politely. This split distraction was enough for Siyeon to get struck in her side, making her cry out and double over. Gasps could be heard as tears filled her eyes, the group running to her aid. She heard another pair of steps running towards her, but she stayed bent, holding her side.

“We have to get you to the doctor!” It was Bora’s voice, frantic and worried.

“We got her, Princess Bora!” Seunghee placed her hand on Siyeon’s back.

Siyeon straightened her back slightly, lifted her head and saw the overwhelming worry in the princess’s eyes. Her eyebrows scrunched close together and had her hands up as if she wanted to touch her.

“I’m fine,” Siyeon gave her a forced smile and chuckle.

Bora slowly put her hands down, forcing her smile in return. “Are you sure…?”

It was as if her question had two different meanings. Two different reasons as to why she was asking that. The way she looked into her eyes looked to be asking for the other answer.

“Yes, Princess Bora…” Siyeon flinched when she tried to move. “Okay, I need a doctor.”

Seunghee grabbed her arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, saying, “Let’s go then!”

Siyeon knew it wasn’t fine.

At least, not in what she was referring to.

* * *

Siyeon still held her side as she trudged through the bright hallway. It was a quick visit, relieved that she didn’t have any broken bones, only very bruised. The afternoon sun poured in and brought life inside. The warmth of sunlight wasn’t making her feel better; It felt like she was going to burn.

Heejin apologized profusely, wanting a punishment for causing harm and tears, but she reassured her it was simply a mishap. They all promised that, the next time they play, they’ll be easier.

On her way to her bedchamber, someone else turned the corner at the end of the hallway, heading in her direction.

She wore an elegant pink dress, walking with poise. They were approaching each other quickly, so Siyeon paused as she readied her greeting she was conditioned to do for the royal family.

“Good afternoon, Princess Handong.”

“Siyeon,” she stopped in her track, sending her a polite smile as she tucked short, brown hair behind her left ear.

She only ever interacted in situations like this and when she gave her food. Getting a better look at her, she was incredibly pretty. With kind yet mysterious eyes and a warm smile, she must be popular amongst princes and must have many courting her. (All of them must be popular. That wasn’t a completely absurd idea.)

On top of that, her voice was smooth and her tone was quite pleasant to the ears. She truly fit her ‘princess’ title.

“Spare a minute?” She asked.

She blinked, taken aback that she didn’t get the simple ‘good afternoon’ in response.

“Yes, your highness.”

“My sister, Bora, informed me there was an incident with you and the other cooks in the courtyard.”

“Oh, I’m alright. Heejin has a good arm; It wasn’t too bad of a hit.”

“I’m pleased to hear that,” Handong nodded, smiling a little bigger. “I have something to ask of you.”

“Yes, your highness?”

“It’s for my sister. She said she wants to speak with you.”

“O—Oh, um…”

“I’m unsure why she asked me to do so. However, she seemed rather upset, how could I deny my sister? I’ll tell her if you decline. She included that you’re allowed to do so, if you wish.”

“I…” Siyeon sighed, shutting her eyes. Her answer to accept was lingering on her tongue. “Where is she at this moment?”

“She’s in the study,” Princess Handong turned around in the direction she came from, “turn the corner and the third door on your left.”

“I will… head over then. Have a nice rest of your afternoon, your highness.”

“Rest well, Siyeon.”

Splitting ways felt so… heavy. She kept her eyes down at the floor, her mind’s gears going at a fast rate.

She didn’t want to speak of it _now_ , did she…? Not after having been struck with a baseball. The most logical reason she’d want to see her was to ask if she was alright. She wanted to talk about it with the princess, she really did, but they couldn’t force it. Then, everything would be a mess, an emotional jumble of words and being so overwhelmed that full thoughts won’t be able to come out. She didn’t want to believe that Bora felt the same as before. It’d be absurd to think that! It was likely she felt terrible for disappearing and would apologize for that instead! She’ll simply have to swallow, accept that it was now one-sided, and then move on with her life.

Remembering that birthday only caused her lips to feel a searing sensation.

When Siyeon arrived at the study, Bora was sitting at the dark wood desk in the corner, reading whatever book it was with a blank paper and fountain pen on the side.

The village girl took cautious glances around her in the hallway, then walked inside.

She was going to call Bora by name, but she choked, “Your highness?”

She lifted her head, then set her pen down. “Siyeon! I… I wasn’t expecting you to arrive.”

“You weren’t…?”

“Truthfully, I was certain my sister would return and inform me you declined.” She cleared her throat, “Because you need rest! How was seeing the doctor?”

“It was fine! I’ve never been to a doctor before, the village never had one, so it was a slightly weird experience.” What a crude reminder of what home was for Siyeon. “It’s only a bruise. It’ll last for quite some time.”

“I’m relieved.”

For the next few minutes, it was silent. Siyeon shifted in her spot, placing her hand on her arm and pinching at the skin of her elbow. The shorter girl kept her eyes on her, taking her in again, simply wanting to look and observe her. Evidently, she didn’t want to speak at all. Though, Siyeon couldn’t believe it either. She felt the urge to reach over and grab her hands, which were interlocked together in front of her, just to see this was really happening. The pain she’d feel if it all turned out to be some elaborate dream and the moment she’ll touch her, she’ll wake up… she didn’t want to experience it.

“You better hurry to your chamber, then,” Bora said with a smile, a slight sadness in her eyes. “You should rest as much as possible for your duties.”

“Yes, of course,” Siyeon slightly bowed her head. “Have a nice rest of your afternoon…” It lingered in her mouth, wanting to say her name like before. “… Your highness.”

* * *

“Bora left again?” Queen Sera pitifully looked at the empty dining seat.

Siyeon hadn’t felt any better, even after the little rest she was able to take. Her chest tightened seeing no one in that space once more.

“She didn’t mention going to see Duke Younghyun this time. Wanted time to herself instead. She must be in a terrible mood…” Yoohyeon frowned, petting their gray pet cat, Nannan, in her lap. Pie was on the floor, chewing on an old, ripped up stuffed bear toy.

“I’ll check on her in the morning,” the queen sighed, worry written all over her face. “She hasn’t been as distant as this since her teens.”

Siyeon wanted to fix it so desperately.

Her mother taught her that, if she was having an issue with someone, she must resolve it with them. She must keep it between herself and the other person. She had been ignoring that life lesson, since she thought she’d never see Bora again.

She took her leave with the cooks back to the kitchen.

“I hope Princess Bora is okay…” Haseul sighed, her brows in a worried scrunch.

“Well,” Heejin crossed her arms, sighing, “she did see someone get hit with a baseball, after all.”

“That shouldn’t be a reason as to why she would run away again!” Seunghee interjected.

“Was that not traumatizing?!”

“We witnessed Princess Yoohyeon nearly shoot an arrow through a guard’s head because she wanted to see if she could get the apple on top! That’s traumatizing!”

“Thank god that guard had good reflexes…”

“You two,” Siyeon sighed, slumping her shoulders, “we shouldn’t speculate on the princesses, or anyone at all, about their feelings or what’s happening to them.”

“It’s just peculiar,” Heejin replied, “especially now. She was usually happy around now because her birthday is coming up.”

“Well, it’s different this time. We can only hope she’ll feel better by the time it will be her birthday.”

They all nodded and went on with their duties. Siyeon could tell she put a damper in the mood. It was overwhelming enough that she was the only one that truly knew why.

Siyeon was silent for the rest of their shift. She waited until the royal family was done with their meal and left with the cooks, leaving everyone behind.

Everyone was wonderful. She was grateful to be able to work with them. It was just everything about this day felt off. Everything about this day was heavy on her heart, conflict after conflict overfilling her thoughts. She wished to not work and take a sick day for herself.

She held back to go on a walk around the castle again, only to find Yubin in the downstairs study. She was reading a copy of _The Picture of Dorian Gray_.

“Hey Yubin.” She entered the room and sat with her on the couch, sitting a seat away from her.

“Hey Siyeon.” Yubin waved.

“Not going to Binnie again?”

“I will later.”

It was quiet for a moment, just the sound of Yubin flipping the page interrupted it.

“Can I ask you about Binnie, Yubin?”

“What do you want to know?”

“Just…” Siyeon didn’t know why she wanted to ask, but it was just on her mind, “How are you guys?”

Yubin tucked her bookmark where she stopped and rested the book on her lap.

“We’ve become very close,” she said.

“Close, how?”

“We…” Yubin’s smile was shy. “We connect so easily. We spend a lot of time together, so we have time to get to know each other. She’s so sweet and funny. Her company is pleasant and I’d stay in it forever if I could. Whenever she hooks her arm with mine or hugs me to say goodnight, there’s a million butterflies in my stomach. She just… makes me feel a different kind of happiness.”

Siyeon gazed at her sister, soft and attentive. She could really see it. She could see that Yubin had deep feelings for the instructor. It was almost as if she was glowing with a pure kind of glee.

“Must be funny to like someone with the same name as you.”

“Just a little,” Yubin chuckled. “I… like her a lot.”

“I can tell.”

Yubin was quiet, closing her eyes. “It’s a funny feeling, but… I like it very much.”

“I’m happy for you, Yubin.” Siyeon scooted closer and grabbed Yubin in an embrace.

All she ever wanted for her sisters was for them to be happy with whatever was happening in their lives. Whether it was finding a significant other or not, living lavishly or still in the village—as long as she still saw their happy smiles, that was all she needed.

She returned the embrace, rubbing circles on her back. “Thank you, Siyeon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see yall next friday/saturday (or just whenever at the end of the week i guess) :3c


	6. V

Bora had been leaving every night since then.

Not only at night, but she randomly disappeared during the day as well.

That was becoming increasingly alarming. It was shocking yet somewhat impressive that she kept slipping away so easily, even with guards surrounding the property. Queen Sera enforced the security, but even then, she was still getting away.

Then, whenever she was seen during the day, she was visibly groggy and exhausted. Lost and not listening. Distant and avoiding everyone’s eyes.

All Siyeon could do was watch.

She was still getting ready in the morning, along with Seunghee, who decided to wait and stay back with her.

“I hope Princess Bora’s going to be okay when it’s her birthday,” the cook pouted, fixing her shirt’s hem.

“Hopefully…” Siyeon muttered, smoothing her tunic.

Bora’s birthday was in a few days. To see a princess not enjoying life, not smiling, not happy—it was making everyone in the castle anxious. It was getting to the point that Siyeon wanted to say ‘forget the rules’ and go fix it herself.

“You know,” the younger girl leaned on the bathroom sink, “you always act weird when we talk about Princess Bora.”

“What?”

“You do! It’s as if you don’t care about her!”

“I—” The words were caught in Siyeon’s throat. She groaned, dragging her feet as she left the bathroom. “The castle has it under control; I don’t have to worry about her.”

“Do they? Because Queen Sera enforced the security three times already and she’s still getting away!”

“Then, we shouldn’t worry about her? I heard she keeps coming back at consistent times of the day.”

“Yeah, but she’s a princess, Siyeon. One day, she’ll leave and could get kidnapped! I’ve never seen someone so… cold.”

“Cold?”

“I feel like I haven’t seen her smile for days now!” Seunghee followed Siyeon out into the hallway. “Every time we cross paths, if we ever do now, and I greet her, she looks so unhappy.”

“She could be having a bad month.”

“You’re too calm; It’s creeping me out.”

“Someone has to be in a time like this.”

Seunghee squinted her eyes in suspicion.

The older girl was aware of her behavior. She cared.

She cared so much, it was driving her insane.

Before Siyeon could add on, a line of soldiers began running down the hallway, passing them with a gust of air hitting the two girls. They were frantic and the girls looked at each other with immense worry.

Seunghee looked down the hallway where they came from and she rushed over to the figure standing at the end of it, “Queen Sera! What’s happening?!”

“Bora didn’t come back last night!” She had fear in her eyes, shaking and breathing heavily. “She shares her room with Yoohyeon and she tells me she usually comes back overnight, but Bora wasn’t there in the morning! She’s been gone since yesterday night!”

Siyeon’s breath was caught in her throat. Panicking, she balled her fists and took a few steps back before turning around. She sped up and headed to the kitchen. Though, she doubted anyone wanted to eat right now. She hoped that Bora would come back sometime in the day, at the latest in the night. If Bora won’t return for supper, then…

She’ll do something. Siyeon will go out and find her herself.

* * *

“Still nowhere to be found?!”

Siyeon overheard Queen Sera’s voice echoing through the front foyer. Peeking behind a pillar, she saw her yelling at a guard, most likely the captain.

“Expand your search! Cover more ground!” Her voice was a mix of fury and cracking on the verge of tears. “This is my eldest daughter! Find her! Quickly!”

The captain announced, “Yes, your majesty!”

He ran off and out of the castle, leaving the queen fuming in her spot.

It was nearing supper time already. Without thinking a second thought, Siyeon left her hiding spot, hurried with quick steps, heading to a different exit through the castle. Exiting, it was sunset.

She had to be there…

Every guard was out searching, so this was her opportunity to make a run for it.

She did just that. _Sprinting_. She ran in the direction of the forest, not caring who was staring or who was calling her a ‘hooligan’. She breathed heavily, tripping over a few times, as she was approaching Ryu Academy. Her throat was hurting as she ran around the fence of the extensive building, aimless and just wanting to find how Bora went to the forest in the first place. With the gate closed and the wall high with nowhere to climb, Siyeon was confused and spiraling.

Just when she thought about giving up, a figure with long, black hair and wearing a dark red dress stepped out from near the corner of the wall closing off the forest. It was a section of what looked like overgrown greenery, only to be hiding an opening.

Found her.

She slowed down as she was getting closer, alarming Bora with her presence.

“Siyeon!” The princess ran to her.

Calling her by her title and calling her by only her name got caught in her throat, therefore deciding to not say either of them. Siyeon glared at her, still trying to catch her breath. “You have everyone worried sick!”

“I—It wasn't my intention to sleep—”

“Your mother has been telling her guards to look everywhere for you! Everyone has been running around and terrified!”

“I know—”

“Then come back!”

Bora had tears in her eyes, sniffling and trembling.

The princess looked to be nearly falling apart right in front of her. Siyeon’s expression softened and she heavily sighed. She didn’t intend to be angry and yell at her.

“Just…” Siyeon closed her eyes. “Just come back… I won’t tell anyone you were here.”

Her eyes widened, saying with a cracking voice, “Why not?”

“Because nobody knows I came looking for you.”

The shorter girl’s eyes dropped down and nodded her head slowly, clasping her hands in front of her. As she went ahead, Siyeon sighed, saying, “That is our spot… No one is supposed to know it… Remember?”

Impulsively, as she approached, Siyeon snuck her hand towards Bora’s, making her unclasp her hands and interlocking her fingers with hers. Bora’s hand was so cold compared to her warm one. It happened so quickly that she couldn’t retract her hand.

It felt so… normal.

The taller girl told herself she was doing this so Bora wouldn’t run away again.

“I don’t care that you’re still going there, but at least keep coming back like you always do,” Siyeon said.

No response.

“Your birthday’s coming up. You should be happy.”

No response.

“Everyone misses your smile in the castle.”

Bora sniffled again, failing to keep her voice steady, “I missed you…”

The taller girl sighed, continuing to walk together. She’d rather not respond at all.

Instead, she held her hand tighter than before.

Bora took a quick inhale and cleared her throat, still a little unsteady, “There’s a secret passage I take; We’ll go through there instead.”

Siyeon wanted to question it, but she left it alone, letting the princess lead the way. At least that answered the question of where she went.

Bora went into the backdoor of one of the little shops, abandoned with tall dressers covering the windows and a chair pushed against the doorknob. Hiding in the furthest corner under a dark green and dusty carpet was a trapdoor, Bora flipped it open and revealed a long staircase leading into deep, deep darkness.

Siyeon was skeptical, but Bora reassured it was fine, so she went in first. She was halfway on the stairs before Bora shut and locked the door, leaving them in complete pitch black. Siyeon stood completely still as Bora found her in the dark, grabbing her hand and dragging her along, running through.

Her heart raced in her chest, her anxiety taking a spike, from the blind running with only Bora’s hand to help her through. She didn’t like not knowing where she was or where she was going. The hanging lamps every unknown amount of feet weren't lessening her nervousness.

“When I stopped living in the academy,” Bora was out of breath, but she kept running, “I took this route to go see you.”

“You ran for the entirety of it?”

“For the majority of it, yes.”

That explained why she couldn’t see her as often anymore. She lived in the castle again, far too distant to visit every sunset.

The entire story, all of her questions, were finally answered, but she still wanted to ask more. How Bora felt in all of this, especially. At this point, it sounded and looked like she didn’t have a lot of control with her life and what she wanted to do. Did she ever have any at all? Did that really matter? She was able to sneak away for an entire day with extensive security and searching!

Siyeon felt her chest tighten. Siyeon couldn’t be the only one who treated Bora like a regular person, right? That couldn’t be. She had to have been treated normally for most of her life until now. At least between her and her sisters and friends. Her life couldn’t revolve around, ‘You’re going to be the next queen, so prepare with endless studying, endless traveling, endless conferences, and endless courting!’ her entire life.

Before Siyeon knew it, they passed the final dim-orange lamp, and Bora stopped and she unlocked a door, pulling her along once again and shutting the door.

“You leave first,” Bora said, now holding both of Siyeon’s hands.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’ll wait a few minutes and then I’ll leave.”

“Okay.”

However, Bora held her hands tighter, not allowing her to leave. She gave her a small tug, pulling her closer.

Her heart stopped when she felt Bora’s breath against her lips. It sent goosebumps through her skin, but in an uncomfortable, slow _crawl_ rather than a rush. Bora’s hands ran up her arms and to her face, cupping her cheeks and barely brushing her lip against hers.

Siyeon pulled back, hitting her back against a wall. Her heart pounded so hard, she felt it against her ears. She worried that Bora could hear it in the silence that fell between them.

“I—I’ll see you during supper…” Siyeon’s voice was low and raspy.

The princess was silent for a long few seconds before saying, “Yes, I’ll see you then.”

“Don’t tell anyone I found you, okay…?”

“Yes, I’ll only tell them that I needed time away.”

Siyeon heard a door unlock and it revealed an empty hallway. With the sliver of light pouring in, Bora’s face was slightly illuminated, revealing her reddened, puffy eyes.

The taller girl wanted to say something, yet she said nothing, leaving into the hallway. It was barren inside and eerie silence suffocated the hallway, except for the vague loud voice echoing from elsewhere. From looking out the tall windows, it was nighttime.

She aimlessly walked to her left, passing some elaborate decorations and portraits on the walls.

_“I missed you…”_

She shook her head. It was insane how weak she was for the princess. Her mind was still spinning, lifting her fingertips to her bottom lip, feeling a tingling sensation run through it. She almost allowed it to happen, yearning for it for so long. For one moment, they would’ve kissed and forgotten what was happening around them. One moment to themselves and once again live in their own little space no one else existed in.

Forget they were a forbidden secret.

Overwhelmed, Siyeon stormed into the nearest room, shutting the door and removing her glasses to wipe away some tears that were threatening to escape.

“Hey.”

Siyeon hastily wore them again as she turned around. It was Yubin. Ending up in one of the drawing rooms, she was sitting by the window with a book, and all the round desk in front of her had was a tea kettle and cup, steam emanating from it.

“I didn’t think you would be here.”

“Well, with a princess potentially missing, work isn’t a priority, isn’t it?”

She sighed, “Right…”

“Sit with me, Siyeon,” Yubin directed her hand at the seat across from her.

She didn’t ask why, simply sitting down as Yubin slid her teacup to her, stating she hadn’t sipped any of it yet.

“May I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What’s your deal with Princess Bora?”

The older girl nearly choked on her hot tea, coughing into her elbow.

“Why do you ask?”

“Just a feeling. You seem to react… not oddly, but differently, whenever Princess Bora gets mentioned around you.” Yubin then chuckled, closing her book. “I’ll admit, Seunghee took me aside and asked me about this. I don’t see you often enough, but from how you entered… Princess Bora didn’t cause that, did she?”

“No! No, I’m—” Siyeon’s cheeks burned, taking her glasses off, drying her tears with the back of her hand, “I was just overwhelmed by everyone else panicking! It made me feel like I couldn’t breathe and I just needed to be somewhere to myself…”

Yubin hummed, an unreadable expression on your face. “You’ll be alright, Siyeon. Stay here until the search is over.”

Siyeon nodded, then chuckled, noticing Yubin’s strange way of talking. It was a strange mix between the proper accent the rich had and her native one.

“Do you have to talk like everyone else here?”

“My students respect me more when I talk like this.” Yubin coughed after, making it go away. “Binnie thinks it’s funny,” Yubin fixed her collar. She wasn’t used to dresses; in fact, none of the sisters were. To see Yubin wearing a dress and her hair styled more ‘femininely’, she was almost unrecognizable.

“I bet. Is she rich?”

“She’s more so in the middle. Not lavishly rich or, you know… us. She and her family are of average wealth.”

“Was she shocked to hear where we’re from? Have you told her?”

“Of course, I told her. She was shocked and said she had never gone near the village, but she still treats me the same.”

“You mean, she still likes you?”

“Yes, that’s what I mean,” Yubin covered her mouth as she giggled. She then sighed, a gentle smile on her lips, “She’s so beautiful inside and out… I can’t believe she’s real.”

“Could I meet her? She sounds wonderful, but as your older sister, I need to see for myself.”

“Yes, that should be alright. Bring Gahyeon along too.”

Siyeon recalled Gahyeon's words from that night. It made her uneasy and very unsure if telling Gahyeon was a good idea. Of course, she’ll definitely sit her baby sister down and have a long conversation about it. Hopefully she could soon before Yubin tells her.

Siyeon took a gulp of tea, now lukewarm and bitter. Yubin laughed at the scrunched face Siyeon made. She pushed the teacup back to her, saying with a disgusted tone, “I’m never drinking that again.”

* * *

It was after supper. Siyeon had made walking through the halls a regular thing (at least for as long as guards weren’t telling her to stop), so she split away from the rest of the crew, hugging, saying ‘goodnight’ and ‘see you in the morning!’. She walked the lonely hallway, now extremely dark and eerie from the lack of light, left with only the lampposts lighting the outdoor walkways, just enough for her to see everything in a dull orange tint.

Then, a figure popped out at the end of the hall, shocking Siyeon. She jumped, gasping and releasing a shriek.

The figure was alarmed and then ran to her. Closer and closer, it was revealed to be a girl with a white nightgown on and her hair pulled back in a bun.

The village girl was staring with wide, shaky eyes until she realized who it was. She glared, relaxing her body, and grumbled, “Princess Bora…”

“I can explain…” Bora kept a safe distance.

“And what's that?”

“I’m under an immense amount of pressure and that… our—our secret place still brings me a great amount of comfort.”

The taller girl was so conflicted with her. She was pushing so hard to make them work together again as if she herself hadn’t gone missing years ago and was now seeing Duke Younghyun and developing a relationship with him in order to marry and inherit the crown. Sinking it in now, it was messing with Siyeon’s head and she didn’t know if she wanted to cry or be furious.

“With all due respect, Princess Bora,” Siyeon let her eyes drop down, avoiding her eyes, “please return to your chambers.”

Bora didn’t move, fidgeting in her spot. She was chewing on her lip as she kept anxiously moving, dragging out the situation longer.

Siyeon sighed again, then grabbed Bora’s hand and dragged her back to her room.

“Siyeon, can we talk?!” Bora ripped her hand out of her grip.

Then, the taller girl wanted to lash out. Her blood suddenly boiled, glaring at her with wrath in her eyes. They met her glazed ones, trying to stop her lower lip from quivering. Her breathing was starting to become uneven. Her blood simmered and her eyes softened, shutting them as she took a deep inhale, slowly releasing it until there was no air left.

“Now’s not a good time…” She took a step forward and pulled her handkerchief from her pocket. “I’ll let you know when it is, okay?”

Bora’s hands were shaky as she grabbed it, drying the waterline of her eyes.

Siyeon remembered, when they were kids, how she would playfully joke about Bora’s height and called her small. She never liked it, but the younger girl always made it up to her somehow. Now, she was small in a different way. Vulnerable. Fragile. Delicate. Siyeon didn’t like seeing her like this. It was a rare occurrence when they were younger, when she was able to laugh off her troubles.

“Come on,” Siyeon grabbed her hand again, a gentle grip this time, walking with her to her chambers.

“Need beauty sleep, I guess…” Bora forced a chuckle.

She didn’t know if she said it because she wanted to remind her of that old banter or what, but she couldn’t help her natural response, somehow still fixed in her brain, “You’re pretty enough…”

It was painfully quiet the rest of the way. Bora had calmed down sometime halfway through; Siyeon felt seemingly numb. Subconsciously, she held Bora’s hand tighter, almost to the point she could feel her pulse. She clenched her jaw and kept looking forward.

“Have a good night’s rest.”

“Thank you, Siyeon.” She attempted to return the handkerchief to her, but Siyeon waved her hand.

“Just keep it. I’ll see you at breakfast.”

She turned around and headed to her chambers, keeping her head down, her thoughts overflowing her mind. She pushed her sleeve past her elbow and started pinching her arm’s skin, calming herself down. She didn’t know what emotion she should be feeling. All she had to tell Bora was to stop trying to force it, force whatever relationship they had. She wasn’t sure if she should be happy that Bora still felt the same way or not! It wasn’t doing either of them good…

She arrived at her shared quarters, cautious to open the door with as much minimal squeak as possible, and shut it behind her. Everyone was already fast asleep, judging by the light snoring.

Instead of getting ready for bed, she made her way to the round table next to the window, sitting down and staring out, the moon in its waning crescent state and the millions of stars sprinkling the endless galaxy. She never actually took the time to sit down and observe the night, even when she met with Bora during that night.

As a child, she was always too tired from working in the village to stargaze.

As a teenager, the most stunning, shining celestial body, something more beautiful than the sky, something so much more divine than any star, constellation, and planet, the only one of its kind was right in front of her…

She removed her glasses and sat them on the table, resting her arms next to them and hiding her face on them, and began to sob silently.

She felt like she lost all direction of her emotions, feeling too much yet expressing not enough. Lost in her own labyrinth she called herself. Wanting to let go and never get near again…

Yet she so desperately wanted to be so close, she’ll never be able to let go.

She gasped for air, leaving a puddle of her tears on the table, her body trembling in sadness, anger, discomfort… fear.

Fear, most of all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see yall next friday/saturday!!


	7. VI

When Siyeon woke up, she was still sitting by the window, a thin blanket now draped over her back. She yawned as she got up, groaning at the end from how stiff her back was. Wearing her glasses and blinking her eyes, the room was quiet, making her realize she was the only one inside. Squinting at the bedside clock by Seunghee's bed, she had a difficult time making it out.

Seven… No, eight… eight… eight-forty… EIGHT-FORTY?!

She knocked the chair over as she hastily got ready for work. Taking the quickest bath she’d ever taken, nearly tripping over as she put clean clothes on while brushing her teeth at the same time, and then rushing out of the room. She sprinted down the hallway, taking sharp turns until she ended up running straight into the dining hall.

Alarming the family, they all turned their heads at her, wide-eyed and placing their utensils down. Pie was frightened and made a tiny yelp sound, making Yoohyeon hold her on her lap to calm her down.

“Oh, Siyeon!” Queen Sera released a relieved breath, placing her hand over her heart. “Goodness, you frightened me!”

“My apologies, your majesty!” Siyeon bent over, leaning her hands on her knees, still heavily breathing, “I… overslept… It won’t… happen again.”

She stood up straight and looked at Bora first, holding her hand to her mouth, trying to hide her smile. The rest of the family were smiling, showing their teeth and in amusement as they held their snickers.

“It’s quite alright, Siyeon.” Queen Sera nodded. “Don’t let it happen again.”

“Yes, your majesty.”

Siyeon went to the kitchen, still breathing quickly and heart racing. As soon as she walked in, nearly all of the crew ran to her and asked a billion questions.

“Hey!” Siyeon waved her hands, waiting until they quieted down. "You guys!"

“You’re three hours late!” Heejin was the closest to her, having been pulling on her shirt sleeve since she walked in. “We let you sleep in, but we didn’t think you’d be late!”

Siyeon lifted her hand and petted Heejin’s head. “It won’t happen again.”

“You missed Princess Bora earlier!”

Siyeon clenched her jaw, stiffening her body at the mention of her name. “What did she do?”

“She was laughing!”

“About?”

“I don’t know! But she’s smiling again and that’s all that matters!”

Her smile was rather nice in the dining room seconds ago… At the very least, she was relieved to see it.

“That’s good,” she said as she slipped past them.

“Yeah, after that guard found her, she seems to feel better all of a sudden!”

“What—” Siyeon spun around, raising her brow, “what guard?”

“He was so incredibly obnoxious about it! I’m glad Princess Bora’s safe and returned unharmed, but I wish it was a more humble guard that found her…” Heejin grumbled at the end of her sentence, rolling her eyes.

“Princess Bora looked annoyed,” Hyunjin added as she walked by with two sacks of flour, plopping it onto the table. Safe to assume she wanted Siyeon to make extras again.

“That too!” Heejin said, “When they were talking to Queen Sera, Princess Bora looked so infuriated. But, hell, I would be too while listening to that guy!”

“No offense to the royal laws and whatnot,” Seunghee added herself to the conversation, “but Princess Bora is the heiress to the throne and she already chose a man to marry! I don’t know what he was mooching up for!”

That lit a different kind of fire in Siyeon. A different rage was boiling her blood, biting harshly on her tongue. People were vile when it came to power, born into it and attempting to obtain it alike. The thought of people wanting to be with Bora for the power they could gain and for not her… Siyeon couldn’t bear the thought.

“Anyways,” Seunghee leaned on the kitchen counter, drinking from a slightly damaged mug, “Queen Sera was only thanking him, but then he just wouldn’t shut his trap!”

“You were eavesdropping?”

“There’s a lot of good hiding spots here!” 

Siyeon nodded, remembering the hidden passage. “I’d be shocked if there wasn’t any.”

It was a casual conversation after that: what they dreamt about last night, what troubles they had getting ready in the morning, what they wanted to eat later, and whether or not they wanted to play baseball (or any other sport) later.

Time passed quickly as the royal family dispersed to wherever they needed to go.

Siyeon removed her apron and hung it on one of the hooks on the wall, “I’m going to walk for a bit. Wake myself up some more.”

“Okay!” Seunghee gave her a thumbs up. “Come out to the courtyard after to play some bowls!”

The older girl nodded and gave her a thumbs up back, walking out. Fixing her low ponytail, she wondered if she should get some more sleep. She ended up oversleeping, yet she still felt exhausted.

Thinking about Bora was, truthfully, exhausting. This situation could’ve been slightly easier if Siyeon just wasn’t… Siyeon. Things could be, no, _would be_ , easier if she was someone who came from a family of wealth and power. Someone who would be invited to all the lavish parties and events. She still wouldn't be considered an option to marry, but if she was of a higher class, she and Bora would have a real fighting chance.

But no. She was Siyeon, a girl from a poor village, now working for her for sustainable pay. It was quite unfortunate that pay wasn’t as extremely well as she and her sisters imagined it to be. It was still full pay with a tax cut, instead the final amount was a good portion higher than how it was in the village.

“Siyeon,” the village girl heard behind her.

She stopped and turned to the voice; It was Bora, dressed in a flattering light pink dress with her hair in a wavy waterfall braid.

“Good morning, your highness.” She greeted, bowing politely.

“Good morning, Siyeon.”

Bora had her hands behind her back, looking at her with a tiny, barely noticeable smile. Siyeon, on the other hand, was toying with the hem of her shirt, then moved to her arm, pinching her skin again.

“Um,” Bora moved her arms and revealed she had the handkerchief she gave her, “this was washed and I wanted to return it. As a thank you for last night.”

“I said you can keep it.”

She was taken aback, blinking in confusion. She chuckled, awkward and holding it forward, insisting, “It’s yours…”

“No, I gave it to you, so it’s yours.”

The princess smiled a tiny bit bigger, putting her arms down again.

Siyeon didn't have any reason to have it in her possession; She simply kept it in her pocket. Deep in her mind, though, she wanted it to be a little gift for the princess as a sign of caring about her… As if picking her up herself after having gone 'missing' wasn't a bigger gesture of caring.

“How’s your side from your baseball incident?” Bora looked down at her side for a second before looking at her face again. “I haven’t been able to ask.”

The younger girl shrugged, “It’s fine. It’s still dark purple, but there’s a little green. It’s healing well.”

“That’s good.”

Siyeon cleared her throat, scratching the back of her neck. Her eyes started to look anywhere else but Bora, as she was keeping her eyes on her. She couldn’t stop fidgeting.

“Is there—”

“I—”

The two girls forcefully laughed.

“You go ahead, Siyeon.”

“No, no, you go first, Princess Bora.”

Bora’s lips were in a sad smile, parting them while she looked to be deep in thought.

“I sincerely apologize for what I did…” She spoke with a soft voice. “Or, what I almost did.”

The taller girl immediately knew what she was referring to. Earnest remorse took over her expression, wordlessly asking for forgiveness with her eyes.

She sighed and spoke quietly, “Honestly, whatever you almost did hurt my feelings… I want to talk about this and everything first. You can’t just do that and pretend that nothing else is happening.”

“I know this is a terrible position we’re stuck in. I’m unsure what I was thinking at that moment; It was inappropriate of me to do. I wish to speak about it as well; Nobody wants to give me time to breathe.”

“And I guess you’ll be extra busy after your birthday?”

“Yes…” Bora’s eyebrows furrowed and her eyes fell. “It's… It’s practically set in stone, Younghyun and I…”

“Is he kind to you?”

“Tremendously. Very likable and humorous. All the girls in our academic years always fawned over his attractive looks.”

“Do you love him?”

Her eyes nearly popped out of her head as it snapped up at her, shining with building tears, and her eyebrows furrowed closer together. She was shocked to hear such a question. Perhaps no one else ever asked her before? And everyone assumed she was?

The princess’s smile twitched, her gaze still filled with sorrow as she looked down at the floor. “I’m trying to.”

Siyeon nodded in reply. So she didn't feel the same as how Younghyun feels about her.

“Did,” she looked up again, “Did you ever get a chance to find love for yourself?”

“No…”

Silence fell on them again and the strength of each other’s feelings began suffocating their space. Bora’s free hand reached forward, hesitantly and shakily, towards Siyeon’s.

“Not here…” Siyeon pulled her hand further away.

She hid it behind her back again, offering her a polite smile, though small and weak, “My apologies. That was inappropriate of me again… You may go on with your day; Be careful out there, Siyeon.”

“Have a nice rest of your day, Princess Bora.”

* * *

“So… it’s like this, huh?”

Siyeon was standing with Seunghee on the second floor, leaning on the railing and peering down into the grand hall. They were eating Granny Smith apples, watching groups of laborers bringing in tables and decorations, preparing for Bora’s birthday ball.

“Every birthday.” Seunghee nodded. “Queen Sera’s birthday—God, don’t get me started with how hectic that preparation is!”

“What are these extravagant parties like?”

“For us workers, we’re turned into either servers or dishwashers,” Seunghee grumbled. “With all the royal families, a lot of people, a lot of food, a lot of music, a lot of entertainment, a lot of dancing—just the usual. Oh, and a lot of courting. Though, everyone and their mothers know about Princess Bora and Duke Younghyun. There shouldn’t be any at all involving her.”

Siyeon swallowed a bite of her apple, groaning, “Must be annoying…”

“These events are supposed to be fun and lively! I wouldn’t blame Princess Bora for not being excited about it. She’s been occupied with a full plate ever since secondary school. I overheard that Duke was relentless!”

“Sounds rough…”

Seunghee hummed, squinting her eyes as she chewed.

“Have you ever been courted before?” She asked.

“No.” Siyeon tried to hold her distaste. “Have you?”

“A few times! Usually by, thankfully kind, guards. It’s fun, I guess. Though, I never said yes to any of them.”

“I don’t want to know what it’s like.” Siyeon physically shivered at the thought. “I don’t want to worry about that right now.”

“Me neither! Oh, my god, let me tell you! When I was younger, my mother told me if I didn’t marry a man by twenty, I’ll die!”

Siyeon bursted into laughter from the strange method.

“Well, look at me! I lived!”

Siyeon gave her a light shove, laughing harder than before.

“I,” she took a breath to calm her laughing, “I cannot relate to that in the slightest! I don’t think that subject was ever mentioned in my household.”

Then, she really thought about it. Her parents always told stories about their own love, but never had they once asked if she, Yubin or Gahyeon had found someone for themselves. She didn’t know their stances regarding relationships outside of between men and women.

“Lucky,” Seunghee grumbled, taking a bite out of her apple. “But do you see yourself being with someone later on?”

Siyeon took a deep, slow sigh. It left an unpleasant feeling in her stomach. Despite all of her mixed feelings, twisting in her heart like a severe, uncontrollable tornado, she was still bound down. She was aware that her feelings were still alive and strong and Bora made it clear that she still felt the same as well. It was difficult _not_ to fantasize about what would happen if things were different.

Truthfully, she'd always found the thought of someone else in place of where Bora once occupied… strange.

“Not right now,” she replied. She noticed her apple was finished, down to its core. “As much as I want to keep people-watching, I’m heading to bed. I’m trying not to be late in the morning.”

“Alright, sleep well!”

After a quick hug, Siyeon left, leaving her apple core with Seunghee since she persisted she’ll toss it for her. Her footsteps were slow as she went through the long hallway to the chambers.

“No, no, you need to be more relaxed.” A female voice said, following with a giggle.

It piqued Siyeon’s interest, following the sound until she reached the turn at the end, peeking her head out.

Halfway down the hallway, Yubin and Binnie were in their own little world, dressed in their nightgowns. Yubin had her hands on Binnie’s waist and Binnie was holding her shoulders, smiling and giggling together.

“I told you, I’ve never danced before!” Yubin was still looking down at their feet.

“It's fine!” Binnie grabbed her chin and lifted, making her look her in the eyes again. “I don't mind if you step on my feet. You're learning.”

They kept giggling as they tried to sway together. However, Yubin was still moving awkwardly.

Siyeon smiled at the sight. There were moments where Yubin was over the moon, smiling from ear to ear, and laughing until she couldn’t breathe. But she was never like this. She never looked like this before. Hearing her laugh louder and watching the two hug tightly, a different kind of happiness surrounding them… Siyeon felt more at ease. Seeing her sisters happy always made her happy.

She walked away, preparing for her usual walk.

She sighed as she walked back down the hall, arms crossed over her chest, staring down at the ground. She could already imagine how miserable Bora was going to be being surrounded by all of these families, wishing her happy birthday, having empty conversations. All the while, she’ll most likely be stuck by Duke Younghyun’s side.

Bora wasn’t one to give in to anything so easily, but she didn’t have a choice now.

“Siyeon?”

She looked up and straightened her stance, “Yoohyeon. Why are you awake at such an hour?”

“Attempting to tire myself,” she chuckled, “plus, Pie ran off. She’s somewhere in the castle. Hopefully a guard could catch her for once!”

“I haven’t seen her yet, but I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Thank you,” Yoohyeon looked behind her. “Would you like to walk together for a moment?”

“Uh, yeah, that would be nice.” Siyeon nodded and went to her side, standing far enough that another person could fit in between them.

“Having trouble sleeping again?”

“Yep… Sleeping has always been an issue for me. The crew allowed me to rest for a bit longer, but they weren’t expecting me to be so late.”

“My apologies, but this morning was rather humorous.”

“It’s okay… At least, uh, Princess Bora smiled a little bit.”

“I’d say that’s an accomplishment!” She chuckled before it died down rather quickly. “She changed a lot over the years.”

“How so?”

“She used to mess around with me very often. We always playfully fought together and she always gave me physical affection. Always so loud with each other and she never held back when she was laughing,” she had a sort of wistful smile on her lips, holding her hands in front of her. “She’s distant now. She doesn’t joke much and she’d rather be alone than be with us. And now… Somehow it’d become more severe. She smiled a little more today, but… She’s my sister, you know? I know there’s something wrong, something’s occupying her mind, but she won’t open up anymore.”

Siyeon stayed quiet.

“Those two, Yubin and Gahyeon, they’re your sisters, aren’t they?”

“Yes, they are.”

“Gahyeon told me. You’re truthful with them, yes?”

Siyeon nodded, slow and hesitant, “It’s hard to lie because, like you, we always know when something’s wrong. It must be difficult.”

“It is…” Yoohyeon sighed. “My apologies, I shouldn’t be speaking so much regarding my sister.”

“It’s alright. I’m always willing to listen whenever.”

The princess was quiet for a moment, while Siyeon kept her eyes on her, giving her her full attention.

“I wouldn’t blame her if the reason why she’s upset is because she doesn’t want to get married.” Yoohyeon stopped at the end of the hallway, turning towards her. “She’s always been the most upset out of all of us.”

“She’s the oldest and… essentially has no choice, doesn’t she?”

"That's correct. It’s a tremendous amount of pressure.”

“I can’t imagine.”

“Bora has been working extremely hard in studying and preparing for when she will inherit… Perhaps she’s having second thoughts…” Yoohyeon sighed, tucking her hair behind her ears. “I’ve asked her and she was furious with me. I usually never tell when any of us are mad at each other; I can’t stand arguing with her.”

“She’ll—” Siyeon didn’t know how to respond. She wanted to say ‘she’ll be fine’ or ‘she’ll open up eventually’. She couldn’t begin to guess _how_ _much_ hardship and pain Bora had been going through. She assumed she felt some remorse, but not _this_. It sounded to be the same amount she was going through herself: hidden away and refused to speak of it, even to the closest people in their lives.

“You know, she’s missing a lot of our important duties regarding her birthday. Dress fittings, dance rehearsals, social etiquette, meeting the royal families who were invited—she has to catch up with everything in one day.”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“I hope so… I just want to be there for her.”

“I know, Yoohyeon. She’ll… She’ll open up when she’s ready.”

The youngest princess nodded, looking down at the ground with slight gloom. “Then, I shall wait for that day. You should head off to slumber now, Siyeon. I need to find Pie. Thank you for listening to me.”

“Not a problem, Yoohyeon. Hope you find her quickly.”

“Thank you. Sleep well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> birthday ball next week :oooooo!!!!! see yall next friday/saturday!!


	8. VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aha well its not siyeons bday in this fic but its boras!!! since its oct 1 for me i felt like posting lmaooo tho............... maybe siyeons birthday does happen in this fic 👀👀👀 jk...................... unless-  
> enjoy!!

Siyeon tugged at her collar, the white frills tickling her neck. She constantly smoothed out her black dress, uncomfortable from how flowy it was. She scratched at her head, her hair tied back in a braided bun, pulling at her scalp a little too tightly. She was almost forced to remove her glasses (allegedly it was rude to wear them in this setting?), but she proved that she was a danger without them by trying to walk and nearly destroying a family heirloom.

“Yeah, I hate these outfits too…” Heejin stood next to her, grimacing into their reflection in the mirror.

“Do I have to wear a dress?” Siyeon smoothed her dress down again.

“Yep, sorry, Siyeon.”

She had never worn a dress _in her life_. She only ever paired her t-shirts and long sleeves with either loose capris or pants. Pants were her all-time favorite and seeing the women who wore skirts and dresses in the village, seeing how the way they flowed as they walked, only made her refrain from it even more. To see herself in a dress for the very first time, it irked her. Yubin and Gahyeon attempting to _not_ laugh when they saw her wasn’t helping either.

“I can… deal, I guess…” Siyeon recoiled one more time at her reflection and left to the rest of the kitchen crew, who were all dressed the same and had the same hairstyle.

“What do we do after we greet them…?” Siyeon grumbled.

It was just enough for Sooyoung, who was standing right next to her, to hear, “Serve drinks and small hors d'oeuvres on silver platters before the dance portion.”

“God damn it…”

Siyeon rarely interacted with Sooyoung, besides her first supper with them, the baseball incident and whenever they played baseball or, rarely, gameball. She always found her very pretty, though; In another life, she could be an actress or model of sorts.

“I relate to that.”

“I’m not exactly a,” Siyeon smoothed her dress once more, huffing in annoyance, “people person? There aren’t a lot of people where I’m from. I hope I don’t fall apart out there…”

“Hey, all of us are going to be out there. Find one of us and we’ll help you.”

“Thanks, Sooyoung.”

“Don’t mention it.” She patted her shoulder. “You’ll be fine, Siyeon,”

Siyeon nodded, though still nervous. If there was one thing she was used to, she was used to rich people sneering at her, treating her rudely and being uncivil. The Ryus proved they were all genuinely good and nice, but for everyone else, her guard was up. There had to be a few terrible families in this mix.

“Okay!” Seunghee yelled out with the same big smile she always had, “Time to head out to greet the guests!”

Siyeon simply followed behind them, keeping her hands in front of her and looking at the back of Sooyoung’s head. She wasn’t given a lot of information regarding which families the Ryus were closest to, which one was the biggest, the smallest, the wealthiest, the snobbiest, or the kindest. She was told all of the family names and kingdoms that were attending, but it wasn’t like she could memorize them after one brief lesson.

Let’s see… The Jang Family of Seherich Dynasty… Park Family of Enco… Chu Family of New Gunju… Perhaps if she hit herself in the head hard enough, she could remember more!

A smaller detail she was told was who Bora considered friends and where they were from.

Siyeon still remembered those friends. There were two girls that Bora always mentioned and spent time with back then—Seungyeon and Sojung.

She wasn’t sure what she could do if Bora was experiencing distress again. It wasn’t like she could approach and interact with her.

The ball was being held in the Great Hall, having been set up with tables and an open middle for socializing and dancing. A musical ensemble occupied the furthest part of the room, creating a pleasant echo through the large-scale room.

Siyeon simply followed what the rest of the crew were doing. The Great Hall was already full and everyone was socializing, so she went around and offered if anyone wanted an hors d'oeuvres from the plate she was forced to carry around for the majority of the night. She had a few takers so far, but for the most part, she was only asking.

This experience was only further proving she didn’t find large crowds and interacting pleasant in the slightest. Though, she wasn’t sure if it was just because of the posh attitude and overly-ostentatious atmosphere or not. Either way, her cheeks were hurting from how much she was forcing her smile.

At some points, she managed to find Yubin with Binnie within the crowd, casually mingling with the other instructors. Her sister was still laughing at how ridiculous she looked, so Siyeon rolled her eyes and went elsewhere. Sadly, Gahyeon was left behind elsewhere in the castle, waiting around and cleaning other areas far away from the festivities. That was one negative about being one of the chambermaids.

Eventually, she found Bora. She was surrounded by men, all dressed lavishly and having casual conversation and, occasionally, laughing heartily. Dressed in a light pink ball gown, graced with glimmering crystals and sheer material over satin, and her hair was done with a braid across her head like a headband and tied back in a bun, she looked incredibly beautiful. She smiled and conversed with them, giving them her full attention.

Next to her, she was holding onto a man’s arm, closely and was looking at her with a content smile. That must be Prince Younghyun. Siyeon must admit, he was rather personable; He looked to be the definition of tall, dark, and handsome. On top of that, simply by looking at him, he doesn’t set any alarms off in her head.

Once Siyeon managed to get closer to serve another princess, she could see in Bora’s eyes that she wasn’t enjoying herself. Her smile didn’t reach them, nodding as they spoke and her free hand twiddling with her flute glass of sparkling wine. It was clear she hadn’t been able to speak with her friends yet.

Noticing her plate was empty, Siyeon returned to the kitchen where Hyunjin and Heejin were hiding and eating some of the fancy cupcakes from the dessert table.

“Look at what I got!” Hyunjin sang, holding a vanilla cupcake towards her.

“How did you take this?” Siyeon raised a brow, taking it from her hand.

“I do this at every social occasion!” She took a bite from the one in her other hand, humming in satisfaction.

Siyeon wasn’t fond of stealing, as the village tended to have a lot of thieves, but for this instance, she was curious about the taste of rich sweets.

Then, taking a bite, her taste buds were taken to another world. A new sweetness with just enough sugar and the fluffy vanilla cake melted on her tongue, yet so light and airy, sent goosebumps through her skin. It was devoured in seconds, making the younger chefs laugh at her.

“I reacted like that too when I ate their desserts for the first time!” Hyunjin grabbed another one and handed it to her.

“You know how it is in the village. Sweets like this are only once in a blue moon. Maybe even rarer than that!” Siyeon finished eating the second one, then said, “We better get back.”

“All that socializing should be done. They might be dancing.” Heejin had white frosting on her lips as she nodded.

Siyeon headed out and, indeed, all the guests were dancing together to the music, now more lively, switching partners once in a while by twirling their female partners to the next. Bora was in the middle of the room, following her partners’ leads and smiling up at them as they continued to speak to her.

Even only watching it was tiring.

The village girl was ready to stand against the wall with the rest of the crew until she looked up. A figure of someone wearing a dress was standing on the second floor, leaning on the balcony railing, watching the festivity continue. She pushed her glasses closer and she could vaguely make out it was someone from the kitchen crew, but couldn’t tell exactly who.

She peered all around her as she snuck away, heading upstairs and approaching her.

She squinted her eyes and, closer and closer, she realized who it was.

“Sooyoung?”

She turned to her with raised brows, then relaxing again, “Oh, hey, Siyeon.”

“What are you doing here?” She asked, leaning next to her on the railing.

“Just… watching, that’s all.”

The village girl observed her profile, noticing Sooyoung was fixated on something. It wasn’t like what she and Seunghee were doing with people-watching the other night.

“Did you know a princess before?”

Sooyoung chuckled, dipping her head down for a second, “Yeah. I used to be friends with the Jung family down there.”

Recalling what she was told, the Jungs ruled Tobri Empire, a smaller kingdom some miles away from Sinnomia. Siyeon was able to interact with them and they were very smiley and happy, loud as well. They certainly made her smile more genuine and were one of the nice families she came across.

“Oh, uh, sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. They talked to me for a little bit, but, obviously, they can’t go into a full conversation.”

“At least they acknowledged you.”

“I guess…” Sooyoung sighed. “I fell in love with one of the princesses…”

“Which one?”

“Princess Jiwoo,” she nodded her head at the princess that had been extra happy and smiley all night. Siyeon heard her laugh from across the room. “I never got to tell her. I mean, perhaps I would’ve been rejected and humiliated, but I wanted her to know.”

Siyeon nodded, letting her know she was listening.

Sooyoung continued, “We were best friends. I was best friends with all of them, but we were the closest. Don’t get me wrong, she got on my nerves sometimes, but… I couldn’t help falling in love with the brightest girl to ever walk the Earth. At times, truthfully, she kept me calm. She’s very cute and she sings very well. I wish we could sit down and pretend nothing changed… We could be best friends again. Remember those days we didn’t take our statuses seriously.” She shut her eyes and heavily sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “If there’s anything I really do miss about my old life… it’s her.”

The village girl stayed silent. Her eyes were shaking as they lingered away from the smiley princess from Tobri Empire to Bora, who was speaking to Duke Younghyun. There was a skip in her chest. If they didn’t have a deep connection beyond friendship, then none of this would be happening. She’d get this job, speak to her, catch up and then they’d be close friends again.

Bora began leaving the crowd, squeezing through people and waving off some of those attempting to obtain her attention. Following her path, she was leaving the hall entirely.

Siyeon cursed under her breath, annoyed that her eyesight was too poor to make out her features.

She took a couple steps back, “Let’s talk more later, Sooyoung.”

She spun on her heel and followed Bora, far enough to not look suspicious and acting as if she was retrieving something. Her eyes were focused on Bora’s back as she strode through the long hallway, heading upstairs through a different staircase away from the bustling celebration and to the balcony overlooking the Kingdom of Sinnomia. Siyeon sped up, holding the front of her dress as she jogged her way over. Bora had leaned onto the balcony's concrete railing as she gazed at the night sky.

She was going to call out her name, get her attention, but once she was a few feet behind her, she simply stood there. She could hear Bora sniffling and her hand would reach her face, brushing away what were likely fallen tears.

Siyeon smoothed out her dress and clasped her hands together, saying with a gentle voice, “Princess Bora…”

She stiffened and turned to the voice, surprise written all over her face, “Siyeon. What are you doing here?”

“I saw you leaving and I was just…” Siyeon felt silly all of a sudden. “Just… wondering if… you were okay.”

Her expression softened into an admirable smile. “I’m well, Siyeon. I needed a breather, is all.”

Her smile vanished and sadness filled her eyes as she turned back to the balcony. “I always loved my birthdays and being able to see my friends… Every year passes and I simply wish we could stop celebrating it.”

Siyeon stayed silent behind her, simply wanting to listen.

“I haven’t been able to speak to Seungyeon or Sojung yet. I’ve been stuck to Younghyun, speaking to other monarchs and being told that I’ve chosen well with him. Everyone’s so excruciatingly delighted! I never showed or expressed interest in finding a husband for years, even though I should be the one most concerned for it!”

Siyeon sighed, gulping as she looked at the back of Bora, imagining her eyes were shot red and glossy from holding in her tears. The way her body trembled from holding back years of emotional distress. No one asked Bora of her true feelings in this whole situation. All they saw was that the next queen had finally found a man to marry—One step closer to her life’s destiny. The village girl was slow as she walked forward, keeping a few feet away from her as she leaned on the balcony.

No words left her mouth; She couldn’t think of anything to offer any comfort. All she really had was her physical presence. She turned to her and saw Bora was tracing her finger on the balcony’s concrete railing. The princess returned the gaze, looking back with a quivering smile, sniffling and a dot of a shine in her eyes.

The ensemble’s classical music flowed into the hallway and to them, faintly playing and filling their silence. It was upsetting that everyone was having a grand time _other than_ the one the ball was for.

The music gave Siyeon an idea.

Was it idiotic?

Perhaps.

Would it make Bora feel better, even a slight bit?

Yes.

Yes, it would.

“I’ve never learned how to dance.”

“Never?”

“I’ve danced, but nothing like what I saw in there. There’s really no reason to learn to dance like that when the music comes from a farm band played by a group of old men with a banjo, a triangle, a washboard, and an empty vegetable crate.”

Bora giggled, “It’s not enjoyable. It’s too serious and stiff. Even with Younghyun, and he’s my intended.”

“Because you’re not dancing with someone who could make it enjoyable.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“Well, it’d be a shame if a princess ended up sad for the entirety of her birthday ball.” Siyeon stepped away from the balcony railing. “I’m allowing you to teach me the serious and stiff dancing.”

“Are you—” She turned her head, raising her brows in surprise, “Are you certain?”

“Yes… your highness.”

Bora's smile was sad, but she chuckled and followed the movement, drying her face one more time before standing in front of the taller girl. “Alright… So, you place your hand on my shoulder and I place mine on your waist.” Their hands were wavering, but Bora visibly relaxed once they were touching. “Then, we hold each other’s hands on this side.”

Siyeon ignored the strange spark that ignited the moment their hands touched.

“You follow my lead,” Bora said.

The taller girl kept her eyes on the ground, focusing more on their feet (or what she was able to see pass their dresses) rather than her face. They were able to go in a nice little square, but Siyeon couldn’t look up once, hearing Bora giggle.

“Good. Now,” she placed her finger on Siyeon’s chin and lifted her head up, “this time, look at me while we dance.”

Her eyes still averted a few times. Bora laughed as she lifted Siyeon’s head every time she looked down, making Siyeon awkwardly smile in return. Their smiles became bigger as Siyeon began to hold eye contact longer. Their serious and stiff dancing began to become more fluid and loose, taking bigger, more exaggerated steps in their square. Bora’s smile finally reached her eyes, turning them into little crescent moons, revealing her teeth as her laugh started to grow louder, eventually becoming the same boisterous laugh Siyeon never forgot about.

It’d be difficult to forget such a laugh. Siyeon couldn’t forget how she was slightly annoyed by it at first. Now, it lit up her world again and it was bringing her happiness to its peak.

Siyeon laughed along with her, not caring at all that their laughs were echoing through the spacious hallway. She couldn’t hear the music at this point as Bora’s laugh overpowered it, ending up taking a step outside of their square, twirling about and becoming an ‘8’ shape.

The taller girl then pulled away, still holding Bora’s hand as she spun her around, then pulling her in again, wrapping her arms around her.

Catching their breaths, Bora placed both of her hands on Siyeon’s waist, still smiling at each other so widely, their cheeks were hurting.

“Where’d you learn that from? You said you never learned to dance in this fashion.”

“I may have seen Duke Younghyun and a few of those other old men do that to you over there.”

“Strange, you do it better than them.”

The two slowed to a stop and their smiles dissipated, gazing at each other as the music faded back into their space. The warm yellow light from the hallway poured onto one side of Bora’s face, giving one eye the color of mahogany, laced with gold. While on the other side, the pale moon’s weak white light barely kissed her pale skin, revealing the faint rosiness in her cheek and making her other eye’s iris like dark, melted chocolate, a tiny white glint inside of it.

Siyeon couldn’t help her eyes from flickering down to Bora’s lips, pink and slightly parted. She clenched her jaw, gulping as she noticed Bora’s dazed look. Hers then flickered down, holding her waist a little tighter.

“Princess Bora?!” A man’s voice yelled from down the hallway.

The two girls separated, clearing their throats and turning away from each other. Siyeon thought her heart was going to burst right then and there, still feeling it beating so fast, it could break out of her and then bounce away.

“That’s Younghyun,” Bora said.

“Yeah, you better leave first then. I’ll be out there.”

“This… This was a lovely time, Siyeon.”

She took a look at her and she was standing with her hands clasped in front of her, smiling gratefully at her, yet her eyes were already displaying a gaze of longing.

“I liked it too…” She smiled back, then watched her walk away.

“Princess Bora! There you are!” Younghyun sounded relieved, and then what sounded like a kiss sound after.

Siyeon ignored the minor crack she felt in her chest.

She sighed, then left to the balcony again, looking up at the moon, a sliver of the way full and illuminating all of the stars, both big and bright and small and barely visible.

It seemed to be her only witness when it came to Bora.

Made it less lonely, even.

She wondered if making a wish on it was a thing; Staring until she saw a shooting star wasn’t something she wanted to do. She wished it was all okay. That she could wake up one morning and everything was okay.

‘Okay’ was an ambiguous wish. She didn’t know what ‘okay’ entailed.

All she knew was that she wanted it.

She sighed and headed back to the Great Hall, where the music was livelier and the dancing was in full swing.

“Sooyoung? You’re still standing there?” She chuckled at the girl, who was still leaning on the concrete railing and looking down at the ball.

“We don’t have anything to do during this portion of these fancy events,” Sooyoung shrugged. “Just waiting for it to wrap up. Where were you this whole time?”

“I…”

Siyeon didn’t have any reason to tell the truth. She went up to her and leaned on the railing next to her. She found Bora in the crowd, dancing with Duke Younghyun with a bright smile. She couldn’t see much, but she had a feeling it looked nothing like the one Siyeon saw at the balcony.

“I just needed a breather.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> perhaps ill post saturday still i dunno ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ but see yall next friday or saturday if i don't!!!


	9. VIII

“Wait,” Siyeon chuckled as she walked with Heejin behind the crew, “you fit thirteen cookies in your mouth?”

It was the morning after Bora’s birthday ball, nearly five a.m., to be exact. They were stuck doing dishes after, and listened to maintenance men carry all of the decorations, tables, and chairs out of the Great Hall and away from the castle. Every girl in the crew was visibly exhausted, having only half an hour of rest with a short time to change out of their dresses, but duty calls to make breakfast for the royal family, no matter how tired.

“Impressive, right?! I won with eleven, but—”

“Whoa!” Seunghee gasped, leaving through the door to the courtyard they happened to stop by. Everyone followed out. What could be so interesting at five a.m.?

One of the younger chefs, Yeojin was her name, gasped in awe, holding onto the nearest pillar. “Is that Princess Bora?!”

In the courtyard, the princess had her hair pulled back in a ponytail and dressed in a comfortable tunic, brown bracers around her arms, and a large bow in her arms, staring down at a target already littered with arrows. It stood all the way to the other side of the courtyard. It was a large courtyard to begin with; Siyeon couldn’t begin to guess what the distance of it was. The circular target had some arrows close to the middle, but the majority were nearly out of the drawn circle and a couple were in the grass.

The crew watched in silence as Bora took a deep breath, taking an arrow from her quiver strapped to her waist and nocking the arrow, her right arm pulling back and pressing the bow string against her face as she aimed.

Only chirping birds filled the air as they waited for her to release it. Everyone froze at how tense it became. Siyeon’s heart raced and pounded in her chest, watching anxiously for her to hit the target.

She had never watched anyone perform archery or ever seen it with her own eyes. She only knew about it through Bora telling her experiences. She always found the sport odd and, from the sounds of it, dangerous. She shivered when she remembered Seunghee talking about Yoohyeon nearly shooting a guard in the head.

Once she released it, Siyeon sucked in a sharp breath, watching it fly across the yard and right into the center.

“Yes!” Bora cried out, jumping for joy and pumping her fists.

Seunghee started whooping and clapping her hands, making everyone do the same. Siyeon reacted a little later, clapping her hands slower than the rest.

“Good job, Princess Bora!”

“Impressive, Princess Bora!”

“You look great out there!”

Bora was startled, finally noticing she had an audience the entire time. She laughed loudly, holding her hand in front of her mouth. There was that sound again—that unique sound that couldn’t be imitated.

“Did I interrupt your morning duties?” Bora raised her voice as she asked.

“Not at all!” Seunghee replied. “We’d much rather watch you!”

Bora laughed again, “I’d love for you all to stay as my audience, however, you all have work to do!”

“Right away, princess! We’ll make your favorite beef roast for breakfast!”

“Make it supper instead!”

“Absolutely, Princess Bora!” Seunghee ran off and everyone followed.

Siyeon lingered behind a little longer, observing how Bora’s hair stuck to her perspiration on her cheeks and neck. When the shorter girl noticed, she gave her a little wave. She smiled and gave her a thumbs up in return. It was rather impressive to watch Bora shoot an arrow from such a far distance!

She looked down the hallway again and decided, since they were out of sight, she could spend a few minutes with Bora. She approached and Bora set her bow down on the grass, smiling bigger.

“So, this is what archery is like.”

“Correct! Does it look intriguing?”

“It looks, uh… intimidating?”

The shorter girl laughed at her uncertainty. “Would you like to try?”

“There isn’t a lot of time at the moment, but… I can take you up on the offer in the future.”

“I look forward to that day.”

Siyeon shoved her hands in her pockets, nodding her head. Taking a quick pause, she let a little chuckle out, “Me too.”

"I'd love to continue chatting, but you have your wonderful bread to attend to. On your way, Siyeon."

She nodded, turned around and headed back inside, jogging through the hallway and to the kitchen.

They went on with their usual morning preparation, eating their breakfast of bread and milk, then moving to cooking freshly caught fish delivered by the marshal and steamed vegetables. Siyeon managed to get through it while mildly distracted, since her mind was subconsciously recalling Bora in the courtyard. Why did she suggest she’d try it? There was no way in hell Siyeon could ever attempt doing such a sport. Her eyesight was beginning to blur and she’ll be hitting the grass more than she’ll ever graze the target!

Serving them in the dining room, Bora was visibly happier.

Recalling the last month, when she did sit down with them for breakfast, she rarely ever looked up or spoke to her family. Now, she was talking to Princess Handong, whatever it may be, and her body language was more expressive, waving around her arms and hands, rather than shrunk down and keeping a small personal bubble.

Siyeon was relieved to see it. She wanted to think she had something to do with it. Though, it doesn’t fill in the awkward space their relationship was put in. Bora seemed fine (as fine as she could be) with what her feelings were towards Siyeon, but… that was a dicey thing to do. In fact, she seemed _too_ fine with it… It wouldn’t be crazy to think that hiding under her kind eyes and beautiful smile, was someone who completely and utterly loathed where her emotions decided to be directed towards.

Siyeon paused her organizing of the newly delivered crates of produce.

She never really thought about it for herself. She wouldn’t say she disliked anything about herself. However, after what Gahyeon said, she’d be a liar if she said she wasn’t slightly uncomfortable with herself at times.

With Miss Minji’s help, she taught her it was okay and she was normal. At the time, she felt indescribably happy with Bora.

What was so wrong about being happy?

She recalled how she felt that night.

On top of the world.

Like she had won the ultimate prize.

As Siyeon was standing near the exit, just enough to be within earshot, to organize a couple cabinets, she couldn’t help picking up what the family were speaking about.

“You chose well with Duke Younghyun, Bora!” Queen Sera gushed. “Seeing you two makes me reminisce about your father.”

“Oh, I remember that story!” Princess Handong’s voice was perked up. “How did that go again, mother?”

“Well… Although your father wasn’t the shiniest coin in the fountain, he was quite delightful. We were close during our academic years. I always adored your father and his tomfoolery, and he always expressed how much he admired and cared for me, so I was hoping he was going to begin courting me… Then, when your grandmother had fallen ill and I was going to inherit the throne soon, he stopped speaking to me. He wouldn’t dare look me in the eye! I thought he was pulling another trick; It went on for months! I’ve never had to corner a man in my life, but he gave me no choice!” There was a small pause for a moment to allow the princesses to laugh. “He avoided me, believing a richer, smarter man was going to steal my heart instead.”

“Didn’t help that richer, smarter men were courting you,” Yoohyeon chuckled.

Queen Sera didn’t speak for what felt like a few minutes. She sighed, “Yes, but no one compared to him. He was… loving, selfless, compassionate… I cannot describe how happy he was when you two were born. And then, you, Handong, he was more than happy to take you in and raise you as well! He grew up without his father, so he looked forward to having his own family one day… He was excited to teach you archery… Excited to tell you stories from his youth… To watch you grow up… He doted on all of you so much.” She cleared her throat. “Handong, you made me ramble my mouth!”

“We like hearing that story, mother!”

“Could’ve asked me about it when it was bedtime, like I intended it to be. Seeing Duke Younghyun loving Bora since primary simply reminded me of him is all.”

Siyeon moved on to helping with the pantry with Hyunjin; She heard enough.

* * *

The village girl felt a little sick after listening in on the conversation. She wasn’t exactly sure why, trying to think of reasons as she headed to the doctor upstairs. She couldn’t explain as to what made her feel this way, except for the fact that she was nauseous and slightly dizzy. She was given the usual simple tests regarding a fever or an upset stomach, but ended with an eye exam that revealed how  _ horrific _ her eyesight truly was.

Her father only ever gave her a new pair of glasses when she said she couldn’t read anymore. He never told her how much it cost to get her metal frames made and where he bought the lenses. He only ever said it was a fortune. It was strange for someone like her to have one at all, but she showed at an early age she was running into things and could potentially be in danger if she went on without them any longer.

She never had to sit through an elaborate test of reading letters through each eye, and, after doing so, she learned it was terrible. She knew it was bad, but not to the point that her lenses had to be noticeably thick.

She felt slightly dizzy as she adjusted to them, looking through the hallway with widened eyes; She hadn’t fully processed that she could finally see perfectly clearly yet.

Someone was walking through the hallway towards her. She didn’t pay any mind at first, as it was only another employee within the castle.

When they were close enough, the person spoke, “You’re Siyeon, correct?”

The village girl turned to the voice. It was Binnie, clutching a stack of papers against her chest. Observing her, she was a rather cute woman. Always dressed in thick cardigans and long dresses, she had a kind aura surrounding her and, close up, had a very cute smile.

“Yes, and you’re Instructor Bae?”

“Please, call me Binnie. You’re not one of my students.”

“Of course, I’m still getting used to which ones are formal and informal.”

“It is quite confusing, isn’t it?”

“Just a bit,” Siyeon said with a chuckle. “May I help you with something?”

“Nothing at all, really. Yubin said you’re her older sister and, since we happened to be crossing paths now on my way to drop off paperwork, I wanted to introduce myself.”

“Oh, well, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Likewise.”

Siyeon crossed her arms, saying, “I don’t mean to be frank, but you two are rather close.”

Binnie’s cheeks dusted pink, then a shy smile overcame her lips.

“We are. I hope that doesn’t bother you; She’s your younger sister, after all.”

“Don’t worry, Binnie.” Siyeon placed her hand on the instructor’s shoulder. “Yubin speaks about you with only endearment. As long as you treat her well, I’ll be nice.”

“Oh… you’re aware that the nature of our… relationship… is different?”

“Based on what Yubin said, I just assumed. Am I wrong?”

“No! No, you’re correct,” she sighed, closing her eyes as a smile formed on her lips again. “I’m relieved, to be truthful. I’ve learned my entire life that women together in such a way was absurd… Sinful, as my mother told me.”

“It’s unfortunate that you must stay a secret, as if it is ‘sinful’. However, your happiness is all that matters.”

“You’re right, Siyeon… I’ve never been this happy before. I’m glad we talked.”

“Me too. I’ll see you around, Binnie.”

“Have a nice rest of your afternoon, Siyeon.”

Siyeon wasn’t as dizzy anymore as she went on her way to the courtyard, where she presumed the crew was playing a game of baseball again.

She passed by a room with an opened door and, for a brief moment, she saw Bora inside. It was a study, therefore she was surrounded by open books on her desk, tapping against the book she was reading. She surely knew it all by heart at this point, but Queen Sera was strict on her. She wanted to greet her for a moment, give her a small break, but, turns out, an instructor (a strict-looking one at that) was inside the room. Thus, she kept walking.

Bora was clear that she found the thought of becoming queen unpleasant. Or, maybe it was the fact she had to marry a man first before she could? Maybe both? Either way, she was visibly unhappy about it. She couldn’t simply talk about it, too. It was their tradition—her mother and her sisters were delighted,  _ elated _ , that she was in a relationship with a man. Siyeon’s heart couldn’t stop hurting whenever she heard or thought about it. It felt so… selfish? It wasn’t like Bora’s was ‘hers’.

Was this ‘being in love’?

It was cruel if it was.

As she walked downstairs, Seunghee and Sooyoung were searching around for something, or someone. When Seunghee’s eyes landed on her, she gasped and ran to her, grabbing her wrist and began dragging her along.

“What’s going on?” Siyeon nearly tripped over from the sudden pull.

“Delivery! You carry boxes best, so we need your help!”

Siyeon shrugged and followed them, heading to the wagon full of crates and boxes of vegetables. It was easier for her than the other three, walking with little struggle of the heavy crate of cabbage in her arms. She could hear the two of them huffing and grunting a few times with their crates. She wanted to laugh, but she learned from her father that laughing would make you weak. She learned that the hard way as a teenager when she dropped a crate of apples on her foot.

Seunghee nearly threw her crate the moment she stepped foot into the kitchen.

“You said you used to do this often with your father?” Seunghee wiped sweat off her forehead, catching her breath.

“I sure did,” Siyeon replied, setting the crate down the kitchen floor.

“Excuse me.” Knocking on their door interrupted their conversation.

Turning around, Bora was standing by with her hands clasped in front of her.

“Your highness,” they greeted, bowing to her.

“Siyeon, may I speak with you for a moment?”

“Yes, Princess Bora.”

The village girl followed her out of the dining room and into the hallway, leading to the grand hall.

“I noticed you walking by on the second floor. Are you feeling alright?”

“I felt a little sick after breakfast. The doctor did all the check-ups and I turned up fine. I ended up changing my lenses instead. The frames too.”

“They look nice on you.”

Siyeon smiled and the conversation died after. They were standing awkwardly with each other, finding the shiny, semi-reflective floor more interesting.

“So…” Siyeon looked up, pressing her lips together. “When do you think you could teach me archery?”

“I usually practice in the mornings. If you or the entire kitchen staff wake up extra early, I could give you a quick lesson then.”

“Trying out a sport in front of them again? I’ll try to wake up on my own.”

“I’d love to see you bright and early; I’ll make sure for no accidents to happen.”

“I don’t want to know what it’s like to be shot with an arrow.”

“I rather not know as well.”

After sharing a laugh, it was silent again, but this time, it was more comfortable.

“I must admit,” Bora then looked down at the floor, unclasping her hands, “I was always curious about your life in your village.”

“Like you wanted to see it?”

“No, I wanted to live it. I’ve never done labor a day in my life, but I always wondered what it was like to do so,” Bora tucked her hair behind her ear, a blush warming her cheeks, giggling under her breath. “On a farm? I’ve seen this little house full of chickens before and I always wanted to go in one.”

Siyeon chortled, finding the image of the princess surrounded by farm chickens instead of cute woodland animals humorous. “Never thought I’d hear a princess say that. You’re talking about a coop; We collect their eggs from their nests inside. I wish I can make that happen for you somehow.”

“It’s alright; I felt I should mention it.” Bora’s expression then lit up, her smile spread from ear to ear. “Oh, your birthday is coming up, isn’t it? October 1st?”

“Yeah, it is. I don’t know what I’m going to do… I’m going to miss my mama’s birthday meatloaf.”

“I hope we can celebrate it together,” the light in Bora’s eyes dimmed. “Like… before?”

Siyeon’s smile slowly disappeared. It was a nice thought. They technically spent it to themselves for a short time during Bora’s birthday, didn’t they?

Curving the corners of her lips and turning her head down, she said, “That’d be nice, but… let’s not get our hopes up too high.”

“We’re going to celebrate, Siyeon.” Bora reached over and held her chin, lifting her head to look into her eyes. “I promised you. No matter what.”

Siyeon didn’t want to be hopeful. She didn’t want to become happier as their relationship became better, knowing it’ll only be shot down and ripped away from her. Siyeon wished she could have her for herself again. To not worry about everything around them and what they ended up being.

It was so selfish.

Bora wasn’t hers.

She never was.

“Okay,” Siyeon nodded, “I’ll understand if you can’t. I’m not exactly… you know… important.”

Bora’s eyes slightly widened at the statement. Her eyebrows twitched into a furrow as she looked towards her with sorrow.

The taller girl didn’t know what overcame her with those words, but her expression was killing her, instantly making her regret it.

“I’m sorry,” Siyeon’s voice came out weaker than she wanted it to.

Bora’s hand then moved to her cheek, gently rubbing her thumb along her warm skin. Siyeon placed her own on top, subconsciously leaning and pressing into her touch. They stayed silent between each other, getting lost in each other as the vague sounds of people speaking to each other and footsteps against the hard floor vanished around them. The taller girl could stand there forever, gazing at the princess before her, always feeling the butterflies in her stomach and the skipping in her chest.

She could practically melt into her touch, slowly realizing that she missed it. Never acknowledging it over the years, she missed it a lot more than she thought. And Bora didn’t want to let go either, taking a step closer and continuing to rub her thumb with gentle brushes.

Siyeon had never seen someone more beautiful.

“Bora?” A voice, Queen Sera’s voice, echoed through the throne room, calling for her.

She immediately retracted her hand and the two girls backed away from each other, awkwardly glancing around their surroundings. It didn’t matter what, just as long as they weren’t looking at each other.

When their eyes landed on each other again, the princess spoke with her voice low, “I promise, Siyeon.”

The taller girl nodded, letting the words sink in.

“You may go now.”

Siyeon returned to the kitchen, where Seunghee was more out of breath than earlier and Sooyoung had removed her button-down shirt and placed it on the counter, sweat dripping down the side of her face.

“It’s not that bad, you two.”

“Easy for you to say!” Seunghee threw her newsboy cap to the ground. “What did you and Princess Bora talk about?”

Siyeon thought about it for a second, knowing not to tell the truth but clueless as to what else to say. She ended with saying, “She just had a few questions.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter for this week........ as a treat.  
> see yall next friday/saturday!!


	10. IX

Siyeon managed to wake up at an unusually early, more unusual than all those years of lack of sleep in the village, time on her own. She internally groaned, knowing the familiar exhaustion well.

She wanted to take up on Bora’s archery lesson offer.

She yawned for what lasted a few seconds and sat up, stretching her arms to the air to relax her tense muscles. She was careful as she climbed down the bunk ladder. With a minor squeak of the final rung, some of the girls stirred and grumbled at the sound. A couple of them turned away, slamming their pillow over their heads.

“Who’s there?” Seunghee mumbled, her eyes still closed.

Siyeon pressed her lips together, eyes widened as she scanned the room, eyes landing on each girl as to see any of them would wake up. She wasn’t sure who, but one of them threw their pillow aimlessly, hitting her in the head. She was stunned for a moment, appalled that someone was able to throw it and hit her perfectly.

She tiptoed out of the room and into the hallway, heading towards the courtyard. Walking through, she had taken a string of ribbon from one of the girls’ bedside tables, using it to tie her hair back; She recalled that was how Bora’s hair was when she practiced. Now on edge, she looked over her shoulder every few seconds, hoping a guard won’t surprise her and then capture her for leaving her room so early.

In actuality, Bora was sitting alone in the middle of the grass. Her legs crossed, sitting peacefully. She didn’t have her bow or quiver of arrows; The target wasn’t there either. Bora had become so quiet and calm over the years, it was… upsetting. One could assume it was because she was getting older, preparing to become the queen of Sinnomia.

There was so much more than that.

So many unspoken thoughts.

Somewhere in there, her old self, her  _ real _ self, was there. The loud, direct, playful, Bora. She was just dying to come out again.

Siyeon wasn’t sure what to do except walk to her and hope she won’t frighten her. She went to her side and sat down, gazing at her profile and not wanting to disturb her. She had a queen-like quality about her. In the way she looked and the way she carried herself in front of others, she was more than ready to step up to the throne.

“I informed the guards I wanted to be completely alone for this time,” Bora spoke, her eyes still closed. “They were quite enraged, but I managed to use a good threat of being discharged. We’ll be fine.”

“You’ve always been a little scary.”

“Was I now?”

“Being loud helped.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She opened her eyes and turned her head, smiling at the village girl, “Good morning.”

“Good morning to you too. It’s a little too early to be practicing archery.”

“Yes, that’s why I sat here instead. Sometimes we need silence rather than activity. My life’s been full of activity enough; I need to breathe.” Bora sighed.

“This is rather pleasant; Never thought I’d experience something like this with you.”

They sat in silence once more. However, it still didn’t feel like the proper place to talk about everything. There was too much and their time in this spot was limited. They needed enough to speak each other’s minds and speak their sides.

“How long did you wonder about my life in the village?” Siyeon asked, remembering their earlier conversation.

“For all the years we’ve known each other… You’re only a year younger than me; I still haven’t wrapped my head around the idea of a child working manual labor. I only ever studied to the bone, practiced archery to work off the stress, went to conferences with my family, and celebrated elaborate events… And all the while the dirty work was done by everyone else.”

“Must be nice.”

“In my youth, but… I deeply think about my life and privileges rather often now. Everyone holds a higher respect for me and, despite telling them they could be lenient in formalities, they still follow strict regulations… I always liked seeing you because… that was time I wasn’t a princess.”

“I remember you telling me something similar to that.”

Bora looked up at the sky and the sun was beginning to rise. “It’s time for a little archery!” She stood up and waited for Siyeon to do the same. “Help me retrieve the equipment?”

Siyeon did so, carrying a new standing target out while Bora carried two bows on her shoulder and a quiver full of arrows.

“We’re not going to shoot far. We’ll start with a few feet and then we’ll move back.”

“How far were you shooting before?”

“About twenty-five, thirty yards? I’m still rather rusty. Some more practice and I’ll be myself again.”

They returned to the courtyard and set everything in their places. Bora taught Siyeon stretching and warm-up techniques, running around the courtyard, straightening their arms out and spinning them in circles, and rotating their torsos from side to side. The princess had laughed at her a couple times, seeing as Siyeon was exaggerating her movement at times. It wasn’t her intention to be comedic, but it naturally revealed itself, reverting back to how she was around Bora and how she always wanted to make her laugh. It was working as Bora’s smile grew bigger and bigger and her face was becoming a bright pink.

However, at one point, she slightly pulled a muscle in her shoulder, postponing the official archery practice.

Bora laughed hysterically as she helped her sit down on the ground. On top of her exaggerated movement, her reaction to it was on the extreme side, overemphasizing the minor pain with a sudden groan.

“I told you to not do it like that!”

Siyeon didn’t say anything, only continuing to laugh with her.

“Can I help you?” Bora sat down on her left side, waiting for her to give her approval.

“Uh, if you can,” Siyeon said, rolling her shoulder back.

Bora placed her hands on her shoulder and Siyeon said ‘up’, ‘down’, ‘left’ and ‘right’ to tell her where the pain was coming from. Once she found it, the princess applied pressure and massaged it away. She sighed at the feeling, closing her eyes and relaxing into it.

“I’m sorry…”

“For?”

Siyeon thought about it, then scoffed, “I don’t know; I just thought I should say it.”

The older girl continued to massage her, only the sound of chirping birds filled their silence. With a low voice, she replied, “Whatever you were referring to, it’s alright.”

She felt silly for saying it. Sometimes apologies were spoken aloud to only fill the space, unsure what to respond with, thus the only thing that’d come to mind was to say ‘I’m sorry’. Silence was deafening sometimes.

Siyeon leaned forward, making the princess’s small hands slide off of her, “I’m ready to try now.”

“Alright.”

They stood up together and Bora grabbed one of the leather bracers next to her quiver and helped wrap it around her left forearm.

“This is important because you could potentially injure yourself from the string or from the fins, the fletchings, on the arrow,” she said. “Excuse me.”

She took a step back and removed her cardigan, revealing her sleeveless tunic under, making Siyeon’s breath get caught in her throat. She stared, not a single thought going through her mind, scanning how Bora’s arms were much more defined than she imagined. She continued to watch as she tied her bracer on and strapped her quiver to her waist.

“The weather is rather erratic this time around,” Bora said through a chuckle, unaware of Siyeon’s sudden silence. She began to explain how her bow was called a recurve bow and all of its characteristics, but Siyeon was barely listening.

“You’ll watch me first and then I’ll help you. Stand further away, please.”

Siyeon did so, standing some feet away from her but her eyes still couldn’t tear away from the princess’s arms. Bora’s back was now to her as she stood perfectly straight, glaring down at the target. The village girl attempted to look towards the target, but the shorter girl grabbed an arrow and nocked it on her bow, straightening her left arm and then pulling her right arm back, drawing the string and arrow back.

She stared again. Hypnotized, her arms every muscle, curve, and dip were enhanced, leaving her speechless and her mouth was becoming dry. Her eyes traced every visible line, becoming lost and dazed.

“There!”

Siyeon jolted at Bora’s loud voice, releasing the breath she didn’t realize she was holding, looking around frantically until she landed on the target, which had an arrow sunk directly in the center. Frankly, they weren’t as far as Bora usually was, so it was easy for her.

The shorter girl ran and pulled the arrow out of the target and ran back. “Now, it’s your turn.”

Bora guided the taller girl into the same position she was in, saying, “This is roughly five yards away, which is a good beginner distance.”

Siyeon was nervous, letting her move her left arm for her into a straight line. She was given an arrow and Bora helped nock it because she was visibly shaky. She drew it back, but it was unstable and her eyes were crossing and blinking rapidly, trying hard to focus on the center.

“Wait, stop,” Bora placed her hand over Siyeon’s holding the bow, making her relax and put the equipment down, “you’re too tense.”

“I’m nervous.”

“It’s fine if you miss, Siyeon; It’s your first attempt.”

“I know… You can laugh if it misses completely.”

“You simply need to relax.” Bora reached over and squeezed her arms, trying to massage her muscles.

Siyeon gulped, getting into position again as Bora stepped back. She held back her shakiness as she let go, watching as the arrow flew through the air, hitting the corner of the target and twirling until it landed straight down into the grass. How she managed to miss it to the point it was going to fly right past it, she didn’t know.

“You hit it!” Bora clasped her hands.

“But I missed.”

“Better than not hitting it at all!” Bora ran to her and then grabbed her into an embrace, wrapping her arms around her torso and resting her chin on her shoulder.

She returned the affection, chuckling along with her. When Bora pulled back, her smile was gone, locking eyes with her. It was almost comedic that they get lost in each other so easily. Bora’s lips parted, eyes now searching Siyeon’s face.

The taller girl clenched her jaw, gulping dryly at the beautiful princess in her arms. Time seemed to pass slowly, leaving them in their own little world.

"Good morning, you two!"

The two girls turned their heads to the voice and saw the kitchen crew had arrived, watching closely with a confused smiles and some awkwardly waving with the greeting.

Siyeon blinked rapidly, and then pulled away, clearing her throat, “Uh, good morning! Just a morning archery lesson! You all should try it; She's a wonderful instructor!"

"Perhaps another time! Come on, we have to prepare breakfast!"  


"You all head in first; I need to help Princess Bora with the equipment!"

As the crew walked away, they locked eyes once more and Bora had a pained expression on her face. Not too noticeable, but it was enough. Sadness, maybe disappointment… Whatever it was, she knew that she wasn’t happy.

"Shall we put everything away now?"

"Yes, your highness."

They went on with placing the equipment in storage and said their goodbyes, saying they’ll see each other for breakfast.

Siyeon had what happened stuck in her mind. She could still feel Bora’s warm form against her, perfectly fitted for her to hold and protect. The way they separated felt heavier.

When she walked into the kitchen, all eyes were on her, leaving her feeling vulnerable.

Seunghee spoke up, "Are you and Princess Bora close?"

Siyeon made an attempt to casually talk about it, "It just happened. During times she asked to talk to me, I told her once that I didn't know much about the sport and she offered a lesson. I wouldn't say close."

The atmosphere was tense and she could tell they were suspicious of her.

"Okay then," Seunghee didn't sound convinced. "Well, just get the apron on and start the bread."

As Siyeon put her apron on, Hyunjin passed by behind her and said, "Your shot was horrific."

She nodded with a weak chuckled and went on with her task, though left in dying curiosity as to what was going through their minds.

* * *

Bora had gone out with Duke Younghyun, something about taking her to a play and afternoon tea for two. Siyeon hated the ache she felt thinking about them together, how the princess held his arm and smiled widely at him. The sound of them kissing when it was her birthday ball still haunted her.

It was so idiotic and uncalled for!

“Siyeon?”

Siyeon was busy with cleaning the grand dining hall table when she heard Princess Handong’s voice behind her.

“Oh, your highness, how may I help you?”

“I must ask you something.”

“Yes…?”

“A couple of the kitchen staff briefly mentioned—casually within a separate conversation—you and Bora were in the courtyard, added what you two were doing as well,” she cleared her throat. “Have you… been developing a relationship in secret?”

Siyeon's breath was caught in her throat. Why was it asked in that way? Princess Handong looked to be holding back a sneer or a look of disgust as she asked, making the village girl extremely uneasy.

The princess continued, “I wanted to ask Bora, but I didn’t want to leave her vulnerable in front of our mother. And, at the moment, she’s with Duke Younghyun.”

Siyeon sighed, unable to find a way around it, “Yes, we’ve been talking and the like whenever she has free time.”

“It’s only friendship, correct?”

Siyeon gulped, feeling as if she was being interrogated, and if she uttered the wrong answer, she’ll be dead. Thus, she forced out, “Yes.”

“Alright,” she nodded. “Anything more, our mother will punish both of you. She’ll execute you for brainwashing Bora and Bora will be shunned away until she’s fixed.”

Siyeon clenched her jaw, feeling her eyes burn from the tears wanting to escape them. She said, “I promise you, your highness, Princess Bora said she needs someone to take her mind off all of her obligations and she found me to be of good company… No offense.”

“No, no, I understand. Bora has a lot of responsibilities on her shoulders; I tire from all of this royal work sometimes as well.”

“You don’t have to worry about her.”

“I’ll hold you to that. You may return to your duties.”

Siyeon waited until the elegant princess left the room, releasing a shaky breath as the words replayed in her head. The last thing she wanted was for Bora to be seen as the family’s disgrace and tarnish their name.

She had a feeling living in the castle would take a toll on her, but she didn’t think it’d break how she viewed herself.

Perhaps… she really was the wrong one all along?

She… really needed to be home again.

As she placed her cleaning supplies away and began heading to her chambers, she nearly bumped into Yubin as she was about to enter.

“Yubin? What are you doing here?”

“I thought you’d be in the courtyard with everyone else, but they said you were here instead. Is something wrong?”

Siyeon knew she could tell the truth. Yubin was in a romantic relationship with Binnie, so it wasn’t like her younger sister was going to judge her. But she didn’t. Princess Handong’s words from moments ago and then Gahyeon’s words from that night echoed in her head, loud and unable to block them out.

“I’m… homesick…” She told half of the truth. “I think for my birthday I should try to go see mama and papa.”

“You’re going to ask Queen Sera for a break?”

“Yeah…”

Siyeon would much rather take the hidden passage Bora took her through and leave that way, but that wouldn’t be a good look.

Yubin scrunched her eyebrows, tilting her head to the side, “Are you sure that’s all?”

“I’m sure. Honestly, I… I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t be here anymore. You and Gahyeon can stay working here and I could stay home with mama and papa.”

With everything going on and how it was turning out, the most likely outcome would leave Siyeon in immense amounts of strain.

“You seemed fine for some time.”

Siyeon paused, looking towards the ground. “I’m trying to stay that way.”

“Well… let me and Gahyeon know what you’ll do. We should try to take a break as well along with you.”

“That’d be nice…”

It was barely noticeable, but Siyeon caught how Yubin squinted her eyes at her. She didn’t understand her sudden change in mood either, but for now, it was stuck in her head, tiring herself.

“It’ll be okay, Siyeon…” She gave her a couple pats on her shoulder. “I need to see Binnie for afternoon tea. Rest well, okay?”

“I will.”

* * *

Siyeon spent every day like they were normal work days. She was able to ask Queen Sera for the well-needed break that’ll last for only two days.

Her birthday.

Then the next day. By the third day’s morning, she was expected to be awake and ready to return to the castle.

Though… without her sisters. Siyeon felt rather offended when Queen Sera said her cooking job wasn’t as ‘high priority’ as Yubin’s or Gahyeon’s. She said it as nicely as she could, but it didn’t help.

That certainly made her option to leave quite easier.

Of course, Yubin and Gahyeon were sad that only Siyeon was able to leave. Gahyeon was more vocally upset and should’ve had steam blowing from her ears as she increasingly grew angrier that they weren’t able to leave. She nearly stormed off before Yubin stopped her, grabbing her arm and talking to her calmly.

Then, the kitchen crew was sad about the news that they couldn’t celebrate even a tiny bit, sobbing exaggeratedly (except for Hyunjin, who was laughing at everyone else).

All she could really do was promise to celebrate it when she returned, whether it was playing a sport in the courtyard, eating a fulfilling meal, or giving her gifts, she’ll happily celebrate it with them.

And then… Bora.

She had been rather busy over the month leading up to her birthday. Duke Younghyun had been wanting to spend more time together. Thus, Siyeon hadn’t been able to get Bora on her own and Bora seemed to be unable to pull her aside for a short conversation. She hadn’t been able to wake up early, either. Bora might still be practicing her archery early in the morning; If only the village girl had the energy to go see her.

The more time passed, the more ridiculous her and Bora’s relationship was. Siyeon didn’t know why they even tried. Why they always shared yearning looks together or allow their touches linger for too long or Bora trying to kiss her in the hidden passage…

They didn’t stand a chance.

Siyeon couldn’t allow herself to believe for even a  _ millisecond _ that  _ she _ had a chance. They could share as many good moments as they want right now, but in comparison to someone like Bora… she was nothing.

On the morning of her birthday, Siyeon woke up earlier than she ever had before; The sun was barely peeking over the horizon. She was groggy, but she was relieved that it was finally the day she could leave and spend time with her parents.

She was slow as she got out of bed and freshened up in the bathroom, dressing up warmly and hanging her satchel across her body, gripping its strap tightly as she walked through the dim hallway and to the courtyard, seeing Bora was sitting in the grass again. The village girl took a deep breath as she walked out, the cool air hitting her warm skin. She wanted to say something, anything, but she felt better off not doing so. Interrupting the princess’s peace would be terrible.

As soon as she sat down, Bora opened her eyes and turned her head towards her, a tired smile on her face.

“Happy birthday, Siyeon.”

Siyeon smiled back, “Thank you… I’ll have to leave to see my parents, so I only have a few minutes to be here.”

“I’m glad you’re able to see your parents for it.”

Siyeon was relieved that Bora didn’t react in a strange or disappointed way. It was awful that it had to be last second.

“Without my sisters,” Siyeon shrugged, picking at the grass. “Your mother said Yubin’s and Gahyeon’s jobs are more high priority, so only I could leave.”

“I should speak to her—”

“It’s fine. I’ll only be gone for a couple days… Are…” Siyeon ran her fingers through her hair. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Yes, Siyeon, I’ll be alright. Perhaps it goes without saying, but I’ve been putting on a brave face for years. I appreciate you asking. I promise to see you tonight at our special place.”

Siyeon knew arguing and telling her it was fine wouldn’t do anything, so she simply nodded and said, “Okay. I’ll go around the usual time.”

Silence had become a third companion for them, welcoming itself as the sun rose more and more, blending its yellow glow into the morning oranges and blues. Quiet time between each other was rare, though at this moment, it was alright.

The taller girl scooted closer until their arms were barely pressing together. She was hesitant, but she held her hand out and Bora shakily placed hers, interlocking their fingers and resting between them on their legs. They held with a gentle yet firm grip, warming each other in the chilly morning. Their hands were perfectly fitted together as if they were meant for each other to hold—Siyeon always noticed it every single time.

“Just for a couple minutes,” Siyeon said. “I’ll have to go to the front of the castle afterwards.”

Bora nodded silently and, hesitantly, she rested her head against Siyeon’s shoulder.

What was so irresistible about the princess, Siyeon didn’t know. She kept telling herself that she was unworthy and undeserving of her, yet she kept coming back.

And Bora kept doing the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see yall next friday/saturday!!


	11. X

The coachman seemed reluctant to have to take her to the village. (Understandable, though he didn’t have to be so apparent about it.) However, on the queen's orders, he must take her to the village and then pick her up again on the third day’s morning.

She gazed at the elegant castle behind her as she sat in the carriage, watching its banners wave in the gentle wind. It was a life many dreamed to be a part of. To be given unconditional respect. To live easily and lavishly.

As long as you weren't the eldest child, it was the life.

As the eldest daughter in her family, Siyeon wouldn’t know what to do if she was forced to develop a relationship with someone. Forced to constantly study, even when everything was already learned and memorized. Forced to be the one to inherit the throne, all because of tradition. Forced to put up an act that made everyone else happy…

Bora was miserable.

On top of that, if Siyeon had to think about it in such a way… according to Princess Handong (and most, if not all, of society), Bora was considered ‘wrong’. ‘Sinful’. ‘Corrupted’. Brainwashed and would be a disgrace in her family if they ever found out about them.

Siyeon shook her head. That drove her insane. She never wanted to view their relationship, and herself, in such a negative light.

She couldn’t lie to herself, at some point, she did imagine what it’d be like if she and Bora were in a situation similar to Yubin and Binnie’s instead.

Or, something more specific.

Siyeon would be in the village and Bora was another local village girl that happened to catch her eye. Strike up a conversation, fall in love, and that’d be it. The only worry they’d ever have was money and…

No amount of riches could ever top the happiness of being with someone you loved.

She mentally slapped herself.

Daydreaming a better life only made everything feel worse.

She wasn’t even truthful of herself. She could’ve told Yubin that she was the same, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. She didn’t have to mention Bora, not at all, yet the cat got her tongue and it was her secret…

All of it was terribly confusing and draining.

The carriage went through the forest, allowing Siyeon’s worries to melt away. Seeing the distance between the castle and the village, Bora walked a long way to see her. Even when she was done with schooling and lived in the castle again, she managed to use the secret escape passage and run the entire way to their special place.

The more things she learned and the more she saw it right before her eyes, all the unknowns that Siyeon had about Bora were beginning to have answers and reasons.

She hoped the princess was going to be okay.

“We have arrived.”

Siyeon turned her head and, indeed, they were right at the entrance of the forest to the village. She considered asking to take her all the way to the front of her home, but he looked agitated enough plus it was only walking distance from there. She exited and bid him farewell, repeating that she’ll be in that exact spot on the third day’s morning.

She turned as the carriage did, heading home.

The village looked exactly the same as when she left. All of the dwellings were still made of clay with cracks in it and still no windows for light to enter inside. At this time, all of the little shops were preparing to open and the merchants were setting up their cheap goods. The village was small enough for everyone to recognize everyone, so as she walked through, they waved their hands and greeted her good morning. She did so in return, smiling and the tension and stress she felt in her muscles dissipated.

She was finally home.

Siyeon approached her home’s door and took a deep breath. Both of her parents should be awake and ready to head to work. She lifted her fist and knocked a few times on the door.

She only waited a few seconds before her father opened the door, a bright smile on his face, big enough to show through his mostly-gray beard.

“Wolf pup!” He heartily laughed and grabbed her into an embrace, lifting her off the ground into his famous bear hug.

She allowed her tears to form and fall, so happy to feel the air in her lungs get knocked out of her. When he placed her down, she was stuttering her words, “M—Missed you too, papa.”

He was tearing up too, sniffing to keep it in, but the redness and the tears welling up in his eyes were prominent. “Don’t cry, wolf pup, or else I’ll cry!”

“I’m sorry, papa, I’ve been homesick!”

“I missed you so much!” He hugged her tight again, “I missed you every day!” He then pulled back looking around her. “Where are Yubin and Gahyeon?”

Siyeon sighed, drying her cheeks with her sleeves, “Queen Sera said their jobs were more high priority, so they couldn’t leave…”

“Oh, that’s too bad…” He then sighed, his eyebrows furrowed. “Well, there’ll be a next time! We can still make this a great birthday for you!” He let her go and stood halfway into their home, yelling, “Dearest! Wolf pup’s home!”

It took a moment for her mother to come outside and Siyeon engulfed her into a hug, kissing her head as she sobbed into Siyeon’s shoulder. She chuckled as she comforted her mother, but, it goes without saying, she was emotional and on the verge of tears once again.

Her mother calmed down after a minute or two, wiping away her tears with her beige shawl. “I’m sorry, my dear,” she sniffled, drying her face some more, “we’ve missed you very much!”

“It’s quiet around here without you!” Her father grabbed both of them into his arms, making them laugh as they pressed together. “And that’s coming from me!”

“Don’t worry, papa!” Siyeon patted his back, the brightest smile in the world on her face. “I have all day tomorrow too!”

“Hallelujah!” He lifted his arms up and cheered into the sky.

“Okay, papa, you’re going to wake up the whole village,” she said as she tapped his shoulder to get him to stop.

“Does a better job than that old woman’s rooster a couple houses down that way!” He pointed towards the merchants. “Well, since it’s your day, what do you want to do?”

Siyeon hummed, “I want to leave my savings here, then I actually want to do some deliveries with you, papa. For old times’ sake.”

“That’s my wolf pup! But first,” he went to the home next to theirs, where the annoying neighbor lived, and slapped his hand on it, “our neighbor had gone months ago! There’s only a bed and the bathroom set up in here, but it had me thinking! I decided to take it and fixed it up, even added a nice table I built myself! You, my little wolf pup, can have it!”

“For me?”

“Consider it your birthday gift!” He fixed his suspenders, a proud smile on his face.

“Oh, well, papa,” she removed her satchel, showing how full it was, “you should definitely use this to renovate more of the house! Buy more supplies, maybe connect them, buy newer and nicer appliances—”

“Great idea!” He patted her head. “However, let’s get on with our work day! We’ll look into buying and spending afterwards.” After bidding her mother goodbye, the father and daughter duo went out to set up Captain to the wagon. The brown horse was waiting in the nearby stables with the other horses; He recognized Siyeon, dipping his head and letting her pet him.

As they rode the wagon and began their journey to the farm, her father heartily laughed once more, “I can’t believe you’re here, wolf pup! You must tell me about your time in the castle!”

“It’s a spectacle, papa! So many rooms, so much space, everything is so expensive yet so readily available! I ended up working in the kitchen and I made many friends with the crew! I forgot to tell mama, but the royal family loves her bread recipe!”

“She has to believe her bread is incredible now! She’s held that recipe all her life and she laughed in my face when I told her that her bread is one of the reasons I fell in love with her!”

Siyeon bursted into laughter, “Papa, you can’t be serious!”

“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, wolf pup! She’s beautiful, intelligent, caring, patient, and an incredible maker of bread!”

“You’re silly.”

“Being in love makes you silly!” He exhaled, still smiling wide.

Siyeon chortled in response, but her smile, slowly but surely, fell. It was a simple question. She always wanted to talk to him other than Miss Minji regarding things like that. It’d be random, but it wouldn’t hurt… right?

She sat quietly, looking at the groups of sheep and cows in the distance, then asked, “How do you know when you’re in love, papa?”

“It’s just something you know! It feels like the entire world becomes radiant, all the colors become lively and the sun becomes brighter! Just the mere thought of the one you love makes you happy! That line about ‘wanting to die for the one you love’ is ridiculous to me! I have declared to your mama many times that I want to live for as long as I can to be with her!”

“That’s very intense…”

“Well,” he chuckled, “I’m expressing that your mama makes me the happiest man alive. And whoever you fall in love with should do the same for you!”

Siyeon had to recall back to those years of sneaking out to see Bora. Being around her truly did make her happy. The thought of going to see her in the evening made her happy. The thought of _her_ made her happy. It was just how her father described it.

It felt _so_ bittersweet.

She was quiet as she faced the dirt road ahead, seeing the faded red barn in the distance, its fields of lettuce, onions, and asparagus were still small and slowly thriving in the cold, flanking the road.

She wanted to respond, but decided silence was better.

* * *

It wasn’t a big delivery, thankfully. The old man that ran the farm struck up a long conversation with her, asking her a bunch of questions about where she’d been, thus having to explain what her life was like for the past few months in the Sinnomia castle. She always thought he was going to continue hating her into her adulthood; She had her moments she annoyed him when working on the farm.

Returning to the village, her father asked, “You’re going to see Miss Minji, wolf pup?”

“Yes! Surely she misses me as much as I miss her.”

“Of course! She visited us when she had time and we talked about you three and how proud we were of you all! Maybe she’ll like to spend lunch with you!”

“I’d love to! How’s her library?”

“It’s running well! She’s been taking care of the young rascals here while the parents work. Teaches reading and writing to keep them occupied!”

“That’s good! Can’t wait to see her!”

Siyeon listened to her father ramble after that, nodding her head as he went on and on about anything that came to his mind. It was interesting to her that he _always_ had something to talk about. It kept her entertained and never made wagon rides boring. He’d probably spoken about the same things a few times over the years! He made lots of things sound exciting.

As they rode into the village, there were some children playing outside, then running to the sides as Captain was walking between the merchant market area.

“I remember being one of the only children here,” Siyeon waved at a couple who waved at her first. “I think there were only three or four. And that’s including me!”

“It’s nice to see! The place is a little livelier!” Her father halted Captain in front of a light yellow building covered in messy paintings of stick figures, flowers and handprints. He ruffled with her hair, making her laugh. “This is the library! Seems she and the children had a little painting lesson recently!”

“It’s very pretty!” Siyeon hung her satchel across her torso and jumped off the wagon. “I’ll see you at supper, papa!”

“Enjoy your lunch, wolf pup!” He said lastly and then rode off to their home.

She took a deep breath before she walked towards the front door, welcomed by Miss Minji, who was squatting down to help one of the children write.

“Siyeon!” She noticed her right away, standing up and hurrying to hug her. “I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too, Miss Minji,” she embraced her back, smiling from ear to ear. “However, it’s only me. My little sisters couldn’t come along.”

“Unfortunate… On your special day as well.” Miss Minji lightly pinched Siyeon’s cheek, making her chuckle.

“I promised to celebrate with them when I return,” Siyeon glanced towards the front door. “It looks nice outside!”

“Thank you! I thought the children would love to take part in a little art instead of reading and writing for a day. It was rather costly, but it worked out well! I’m glad they enjoyed it.”

Siyeon turned her head towards the few children left behind in the desk area and saw one boy helping a girl with writing the alphabet on her paper. She smiled at the sight.

“You’re doing a good thing, Miss Minji. I should really get my savings and share it with you—”

“Nonsense! I’ll be fine without it.”

“I insist! Please, my mama and papa will be more than happy to split it equally.”

“You’re too generous, dear!”

“Please, Miss Minji…” Siyeon pouted.

She sighed, patting her shoulder with a smile, “Fine, sweetheart, I shall take your kind offering.”

“Miss Minji,” the little girl she saw earlier was standing next to them. “I’m done.” She was below waist height to Siyeon, raising her paper and pencil as high as she could to her teacher.

“Well done, my dear!” She took the stationery and patted her head. “You may play outside with the others. I’ll call you in for snacks and reading time later.”

“Okay!” She smiled brightly, then left outside with the boy who helped her.

“So, this means lunch for you, right?” Siyeon asked.

“Yes. Would you like to join me?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Walking through the market area, Siyeon couldn’t help the minor guilt when they bought the ingredients, still remembering the prices of each item. She had to remind herself that there was enough in her satchel back home to make up for it.

Arriving at Miss Minji’s tiny home, tiny barking was on the other side of the door. Upon entering, the small, white puffball startled the younger woman, nearly barking back. She wasn’t sure why that was her initial reaction.

“Oh, this is Cherry!” Miss Minji placed the groceries on her kitchen counter and picked the dog up, saying, “She doesn’t recognize you, but see? She’s already comfortable. She was a stray and incredibly dirty. I was surprised she came up to me so easily when I fed her a banana slice. Followed me home and she had no collar, so she lives with me now.”

Siyeon lifted her hand and petted the dog behind her ear, admiring her soft fur and red bandana around her neck. She was a similar breed to Pie; Cherry had to be a runaway from one of the rich towns.

“She’s cute.” Siyeon giggled as Cherry licked her hand.

“The children love her. I kept her in the classroom for some time, but they couldn't concentrate with her around! She does well with being alone here. As long as I leave food and water, she knows when to eat and drink.” Miss Minji placed her dog down and went to her groceries, beginning to set up.

Siyeon stayed with the little dog, continuously petting and moving her hand, making her hop around.

“Siyeon,” Miss Minji said.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“I know you said to never speak about it again, but I have to ask you.”

She sighed and stood up from the ground, feeling Cherry rubbing against her leg. “I know what you’re talking about, Miss Minji…”

“How was seeing her again?”

“I’ve been… conflicted… Our relationship is in a strange limbo. We spend time together, laugh together… I still feel that pull to her and I still feel happy to be with her.”

“What happened, dear?”

“Bora is with someone now—Duke Younghyun of Dyyma Empire. He’s, uh… the one she’ll be marrying and becoming the new rulers of Sinnomia with. We didn’t talk in the beginning, but then she kept leaving for long periods of time. Her family wasn’t worried, so I wasn’t either. One day, she was gone for longer than usual. For some reason, no one could find her, but… I knew where she was, so I found her. I’ve been so confused, Miss Minji! We spoke whenever she had time, let her teach me how to dance to classical music, teach me her favorite sport… Everything feels so natural again. There’s something strong between us… She’s a royal princess in a relationship and on her way to inherit the throne and I’m—” Siyeon gulped as she felt a lump grow in her throat. “I’m just this… I have nothing to give her…”

Miss Minji was quiet as she walked over to place her hand on her shoulder. “You give her happiness, don’t you?”

“From the looks of it, I do.”

“That’s what you have. Happiness. And you always give that to her. Nothing’s better than that, really.”

She then returned to her kitchen table, finishing her set up. Miss Minji had never given such an answer like that before.

Siyeon returned to Cherry, who was still bouncing around and wanting to play. She hoped Bora was doing okay. She really did hope to see her tonight in the forest, though she made sure to not cry about it if she doesn’t show. The princess was busier than ever, after all.

“Help me with cutting the carrots, dear. It’ll help you get your mind off things.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

And it helped slightly. Siyeon helped Miss Minji with making her favorite beef stew, silently cutting the vegetables. However, her head was still full of Bora and hoping she was doing okay. Tried to think about anything else, but it always wandered back to Bora.

She did like giving her happiness… Even now when their relationship and emotions being pushed closer and closer to the edge, seeing Bora happy made her happy. She couldn’t wrap her head around it.

The beef stew was all prepared and put into two bowls, sitting across from each other.

“Happy birthday, Siyeon.” Miss Minji said, smiling warmly at her.

Siyeon smiled back, taking her spoon and getting a little bit of everything—the broth, the carrot, the potato, and the all-important, beef. Placing it in her mouth, all of the flavors bursted and she felt the warmth of it relax her body, and her smile grew. She ate food with the most expensive ingredients and fanciest meats, but Miss Minji’s beef stew was one of the best. She could cry from how much she missed it.

“Thank you, Miss Minji.”

* * *

After a cozy lunch with Miss Minji and walking her back to her library, Siyeon went on about learning about baseball and how, if she ever could, she could teach the children that. Something active and learn about teamwork and teach them good sportsmanship. The older woman agreed, liking the idea very much. Siyeon was disappointed that it may never happen, but it was a wonderful thought.

Siyeon returned home and, to her shock, her parents were home.

“Mama! Papa! What are you doing here? I thought you had work still.”

“Oh, no, dear!” Her mother shook her head, patting her shoulder. “This is your birthday and you’re only here for a couple days, we shall go out and spend time out as a family!”

“Yes, wolf pup! Buy you gifts and then head to the market for your mama’s famous meatloaf!” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

Siyeon’s smile grew from ear to ear, revealing her teeth, and agreed wholeheartedly.

She took a good amount of her savings into her satchel, then left the rest in their dresser. Her father took them to the next town with Captain. Even though they were judged by the townspeople, they still went on with their evening with buying Siyeon new clothes. She insisted for them to buy something for themselves, but they kept refusing, saying it was her day, thus it was only for her. She bought more long sleeves and pants, making sure they were good for the cold weather that was falling on them.

However, Siyeon made them promise that they’ll buy for themselves in the future.

When they returned to the village, they went through the market together and bought ingredients for the meatloaf and they ended their little trip with that.

“You’ll be having your little ritual nap, wolf pup?” Her father asked as they walked into their home, lighting up the oil lanterns around the house.

“You know it, papa.”

“Use the next house then! Warm up to it! It’ll be quieter in there! You should be able to sleep better.”

Siyeon nodded and went into the smaller house. It really wasn’t much—Just a bed, a bathroom, and one bedside table. No wonder that woman seemed extremely angry. But, for Siyeon, this was perfect.

She yawned as she climbed into bed, removing her glasses and shutting her eyes.

Sleep had never come easier.

* * *

Siyeon fluttered her eyes open to complete darkness. She wore her glasses and got out of bed, stretching her limbs and humming as she felt the stiffness in her muscles relax.

She only relaxed for a second. She was closer to having to leave to the forest and see if Bora managed to sneak out to meet her. Her heartbeat felt strange and heavy, clearing her throat before she went to see her parents.

As soon as she opened the door, her parents started singing ‘happy birthday’, clapping their hands together and had the delicious smelling meatloaf on the table. Siyeon laughed as she walked closer, clapping her hands along with them. They engulfed her into a tight hug, wrapping her in their love.

“Eat up, wolf pup!” Her father pulled back, ruffling with her hair once again.

When the three sat down together, her mother spoke first, “Happy birthday, Siyeon. I’m wishing you a long life, good health, and to be able to overcome any troubles that may come your way.”

“And I’m,” her father put his arm around her shoulders, “wishing you to always be happy and for whatever wishes you have in that head of yours to come true!”

“Thank you, mama. Thank you, papa.” She leaned her head on her father, her smile unable to leave. “I’m really happy to be here. I love you guys a lot.”

“And we love you too, dear.”

“Well, you know the tradition—birthday girl gets as big of a piece as she likes!”

Siyeon used to always get a slice that was too big for herself, then she ended up not finishing it and sharing it anyway. She still cut it with her slice being larger, but only a slight bit to be fairer and more doable.

The taste of her mother’s homemade meatloaf was the most delicious thing she had ever tasted. No amount of expensive ingredients could ever surpass her mother’s cooking.

_Nothing_ could ever top homemade cooking generally.

Perhaps the way to her heart was through her stomach as well.

To her shock, she was able to eat in silence, eating her meatloaf in large bites, bites that barely fit in her mouth. She wanted to savor it slowly, but it was so tasty she wanted it all at once. She heard her mother tell her to slow down and her father laughed, saying that he ate that way too, but she kept eating. She ate and ate until her slice was entirely gone, leaving her parents with their half-eaten slices.

“Thank you, mama. Your cooking is always the best!”

“You’re welcome, dear.”

She waited, having a nice conversation with her father about the time he and his old friends from years ago had broken into a rich man’s home, wore his clothing and nearly destroyed everything in his home, then were nearly caught when he returned. Her mother slapped his arm, telling him to not tell that story, but he assured her it was fine to tell. ‘It was years ago!’ He said.

After helping her mother with washing the dishes and pots, Siyeon decided it was time to head to her home, taking an oil lantern with her. Her heart was beating rapidly, walking out into the dark to the little house next door and getting through her preparation for bed. She wrapped herself in her blanket and sat on her bed, waiting with her heartbeat pounding against her ears, timing it to when her parents might fall asleep.

Her hopes were existent, but still very low. Remembering the days after her eighteenth birthday, showing up and staying alone, then, she went everyday, hoping for her to be there or only arrive late… it still made her heart ache. She didn’t want to feel that _snap_ she felt in her chest from being so dejected again. She was older now and had a better understanding of Bora, so she could approach that situation calmly.

Hopefully, anyway—those old wounds could break open again regardless…

When she believed her parents were asleep, she took her oil lantern, wrapped herself tightly in her blanket, and went outside, a spike of goosebumps covered her skin as a cool breeze went by her. She headed towards the forest. For the first time, the dark forest made her nervous. To be walking through it in the dark, every sound of rustling or scurrying alarmed her. The path leading to the log was still embedded in her memory, heading to it with no problems.

However, it was dark. There was no instance of someone within it.

A minor snap in her chest.

She slowed down to a stop and took a step back, wanting to return again. It felt too uncomfortably familiar…

Tightening her grip on her lantern handle, she kept on, ignoring the burning in her eyes and the snap growing bigger in her heart.

She found the log and sat down, uncomfortable in the familiar loneliness and dejection she felt all those years ago.

Keeping her eyes down, she held her blanket tighter around her, desperately pushing away the hurt she felt. She dried the single tears that fell from both of her eyes with her sleeve, sniffling.

She shouldn’t have had high expectations. She shouldn’t be as hurt as she was, too.

“Siyeon!”

She jolted from the loud voice coming from the darkness. She searched around her and saw a dim orange light and the sound of rustling trees and snapping twigs coming closer and closer.

“Bora!” She called back, warmth blooming from within and melting her fears away. She ran towards her rather than wait, meeting her halfway with a cheek-hurting grin on her face. Seeing her in the light, Bora was still dressed in a light pink gown and her hair was up in a bun. Both girls were out of breath, warm for a moment but then chilled from the cold weather.

“Happy birthday!” She greeted, her smile shining brightly in their dim lamp light.

“Thank you, I… I can’t believe you’re here.”

“It’s a long story,” she chuckled, scratching the back of her neck.

“Well… The night is young. Let’s walk around tonight? Are your feet okay to do that?”

“That sounds lovely! I’d do so even if my feet were in their worst condition.”

Siyeon rolled her eyes. She noticed Bora was chilly, attempting to stop her shivers. The taller girl lifted her arm and wrapped her blanket around Bora’s shoulders, sharing it and holding her close to offer her body warmth. Giggling, she muttered a ‘thank you’.

“What’s the long story?”

“Well,” Bora sighed, “it’s a rather complicated situation. Younghyun wanted to spend some time together, only the two of us, so I said yes, as we have to have alone time, regardless. I wasn’t exactly sure what he was truly planning… perhaps consummate our relationship, based on all of the physical affection he was giving me.”

“That’s… good…?”

Bora snorted at her reaction. “We did nothing of the sort! Besides, that’s supposed to happen on our wedding night…”

“I’ve heard enough.”

“My apologies, Siyeon,” Bora pressed closer into Siyeon’s side. “It was strange! One of his messengers had found him and he was quite frantic! I wanted to be informed, but he was frenzied and told me to stay where I was. Isn’t that absolutely ridiculous?! Leave me alone and wait for him for an undisclosed amount of time?!”

“I mean no offense with this, but… don’t some queens do that? The kings travel and queens stay home?”

Bora was silent, eerier than it should be from walking through the dark, until she said, “He could’ve at the very least returned me to the castle… Luckily, he chose somewhere that led to the forest, not too far, but I misjudged how long it’d take, hence my tardiness.”

“I see… So, what happens now?”

“I’m not sure… He could be gone for a day or a couple or a few… I only know that I’m waiting for him to return.”

Siyeon perked at the idea that popped into her head. “Then, maybe you should stay with me.”

“Stay?”

“Yeah… Let’s fulfill your wish to go to a farm and see the chicken coop! We could spend more time together and I could tell you all about my life here and…” Siyeon then chuckled, bowing her head, “Sorry, I shouldn’t think—”

“No! No, I would love to go to the village and spend time with you! That sounds wonderful!”

Siyeon slowed down some, gulping before asking, “What about Duke Younghyun?”

“I’ll suffer whatever consequences he will, or whoever will, decide to give me.” Bora smiled warmly. “Let this be my birthday gift for you.”

Siyeon let her words sink in, gazing at her with her lips parted. She didn’t want Bora to put herself in danger, yet at the same time, they’ve waited their whole lives for a chance like this.

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely.”

Siyeon nodded, then held her closer, “Okay. Let’s go then.”

She pulled her along through the dark forest to her home, not a hint of sleepiness in her body anymore. Nobody was awake at this time, so the princess was able to arrive no problem.

“Welcome to my dwelling,” Siyeon said as she let Bora in first, welcomed by the smell of rosemary. “My mama and papa are next door.”

“I see. This is…” Bora’s voice died down, observing the small room and single bathroom.

“You can say it’s awful,” Siyeon chuckled. “This is nothing compared to your castle.”

“No, it’s cozy!” She turned to her. “It’s nice to know where everything is immediately! The castle is overwhelming sometimes!”

“You don’t have to be nice about it.”

“I’m being truthful…”

Siyeon laughed under her breath. She still highly doubted it, but said, “Thank you, then. It is nice to have everything in one place.”

It was quiet while Bora looked around aimlessly, much like a fish stuck in a small pond, going around over and over with nowhere else to go.

Siyeon looked down at the end of Bora’s dress, raising a brow, “Why are you still wearing that? Shouldn’t you be in your nightgown?”

She spun around, awkwardly laughing and scratching the back of her neck, “I hadn't thought we'd ever have this opportunity. Also… I can’t take it off by myself…”

“Oh…”

The shorter girl nodded, clearing her throat and turning away again.

Siyeon pressed her lips together, her face burning up. Her mind was running rampant and spiraling out of control, gulping dryly.

“I—I’m going to get you some clothes to wear.”

Siyeon left before Bora could answer, staying quiet as she pulled on the top dresser to her clothes. Her parents were snoring lowly, which made her want to laugh, as she’d never heard either of them do so before.

It felt right to give her her newly-bought clothes, grabbing her new pants and white long-sleeve shirt. For pajamas, she took her old long-sleeve and pants, big enough to keep her covered. She returned to her room, where Bora was sitting on the bed and staring at the oil lantern on the bedside table.

“We don’t do nightgowns here, so you’ll have to settle with mine. I’ll help you with, uh,” Siyeon placed the clothes on the bed next to her, “your dress.”

“You don’t have much of a choice,” she chuckled, standing up and turning around. “I’m not sure why the handmaid tied it in such a way, but you have to pull on the string.”

Siyeon observed the corset tying on her back, seeing the string was uneven, presumably from Bora attempting to remove it herself.

“I guess it’s double-tied?”

“I think so.”

It took a moment for Siyeon to untie the first knot, pulling with her fingernails. If it wasn’t such an expensive dress, she would’ve simply cut it with one of her knives from the kitchen.

She was able to untie it completely and helped loosen the strings.

Bora took a deep breath, laughing after, “Thank you, I can finally breathe.”

The shorter girl was removing it on her own, but Siyeon was stuck in place, staring as more of Bora’s smooth skin was being revealed. She clenched her jaw as her dress slipped down, revealing her defined back muscles. Her eyes grew wider as her muscles became more defined with her movement. She felt awful for even thinking about lifting her hands to touch her, but it was very tempting.

Bora peeked behind her, saying with a low voice, “Siyeon?”

Siyeon cleared her throat and looked to the corner of the room, heat rising to her neck and cheeks. “Uh, I was just waiting to see if you need any more help.”

She snickered, “You can turn away; I can handle the rest.”

Siyeon did so, scrunching her face and mentally slapping herself for that. First it was her arms and now it was her back! She had quite a staring problem, but she couldn’t help it when she’d never seen a woman with such a muscular physique before. And it was a princess of all people!

She couldn’t allow herself to act on those emotions again. It was apparent that they were still feeling something strongly towards each other, but…

“Alright, you can turn around now.”

Siyeon did and saw the clothes were slightly too big on the shorter girl, especially her shirt that was nearly hanging off one shoulder. She looked as if she was drowning in fabric. In fact, it somehow made her look smaller. Siyeon felt her heart skip a beat, looking at her face again.

“Sorry about your dress,” she directed her hand at the dress lying on her bed, “I don’t think we have a place to put it… Would you mind just sleeping on the floor? I wouldn’t want your dress to become dirty. Truthfully, the floor isn’t that bad!”

Bora chuckled, “Alright then, if you insist.”

Siyeon took her bed’s pillows and placed them on the ground, then laid the blanket under them. She snuck her way into her parents’ home again and took an extra blanket from the dresser drawer.

“You can use the bathroom. Don’t use too much water from the bucket—water is sacred here. Oh, and… hope you don’t mind sharing my brush for your teeth…” Siyeon then sat on the floor and lied down, pulling the blanket over her.

“Is that sanitary?”

“Had to share with both of my sisters when we were younger for a few months once. We’re fine.”

Bora hummed. Somehow, she could hear her smile. “I’ll take your word for it.”

“I might be asleep when you return.”

“It’s rather late. We’ll be getting up quite early, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, I have to tell my parents you’re here in the morning.”

“Will they be okay with me here?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t they be?”

“They’ll think it’s strange that the princess of Sinnomia is staying next door with their daughter, no?”

Siyeon raised her brow, snickering at her, “You’re not Princess Bora here.” She removed her glasses, setting them on the floor next to her head. “You’re just Bora.”

She shut her eyes afterwards, sighing to relax and get as comfortable as she could on the cold ground.

Though, she couldn’t relax. She was hyper-aware of Bora and what she was doing: hearing her small footsteps, the door opening and closing, the little splashes of water, and hearing her sigh from time to time.

She opened her eyes when she heard Bora exit the bathroom, turning down the oil lantern’s flame and slipping in next to her, tucking herself under the blanket.

Siyeon waited a beat before flipping around, turning towards her. She couldn’t see anything in the deep darkness, but her eyes were half-open, gazing at her.

“I thought you said you’d be asleep when I returned?” Bora asked with a giggle.

“I said I might,” Siyeon’s voice was low. “And, look, I… I can’t believe you’re really here… I’m sure you won’t like it here. Going from your lavish life to this… You’ll think everything is dirty and smells terrible. You can be honest with me and say it’s nauseating.”

Bora paused for a minute, then the taller girl felt a hand gently placing itself to her cheek, the thumb rubbing against her skin. “As long as we’re here together, I don’t mind any of it…”

It was lulling her to sleep, her eyelids becoming heavy and her heart rate slowing down. Sometimes she thought about how sleeping was the only time Bora could ever have to get away from everything, to not worry about anything. Though, simultaneously, she must dread it, as she’ll wake up and she’ll have to return to them for another day.

“I promise, Bora,” Siyeon mumbled, relaxing more by the second, “I’ll make it a great day for you.”

She heard Bora quietly giggle.

Nearly delirious, she kept talking, “I want to make you smile and laugh… Make you happy again…”

She was on her final thread of consciousness before falling into deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a day together... :oooo  
> see yall next friday/saturday!!


	12. XI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay for this chapter the last part of it changed like a hundred times and im STILL not all that satisfied about it but i didnt want it to wait sO if you ever come back to reread this chapter it may or may not change :'D  
> enjoy!

When Siyeon woke up in the morning, Bora was still deeply asleep, pressing her cheek into her pillow and their hands were loosely holding each other. The corners of Siyeon’s lips tugged into a tired smile, wishing she could continue to watch her be peaceful.

But she was seeing her too clearly, meaning she was too close to her. She better back away before she wakes up.

She removed her hand from on top of Bora’s and sat up, yawning and stretching her arms to the ceiling. She prepared for her day, quietly to not wake up the shorter girl, then paced around the room, readying herself to tell them about her. She had nothing to worry about; She simply couldn’t word it without sounding crazy.

She took a quick exhale and went next door, seeing her mother and father about to leave.

“Morning, wolf pup!” Her father greeted her. That might’ve woken Bora up.

“Good morning, papa, mama,” she greeted in return. “Uh, before you two leave, I need to tell you something.”

Her parents shared a look, confused and with slight worry, then her father shut the door. “What is it, wolf pup?”

“This is going to sound very absurd, so I’ll say it as it is,” Siyeon took a deep breath. “The Princess of Sinnomia, Princess Bora, to be exact, and I had become close friends and, since she had time, I told her I’m from here and she’d like to spend time with me.”

Her parents were dead silent. Their eyes had widened in disbelief and shock, visibly processing what they heard.

She could have worded it differently; It sounded a lot more absurd than she thought it was going to sound.

“She’s…” She’d never seen her father speechless before. “She’s in your home?”

“Yep.”

“She’s staying for the day?” Her mother asked.

“Yep.”

“What will she do?”

“I’m taking her out for the day at the farm. She always wanted to go there.”

She waited for them, still looking to her then each other as they looked back in disbelief.

“Well, uh!” Her father raised his voice again. “Let’s meet the princess then!”

“She should be awake.” Siyeon left and was met with Bora who was, indeed, awake. She was standing outside, soaking in the morning sun, yawning and brushing her hair back with her hand.

“Good morning, Siyeon.” Her voice was still husky from sleep.

To see Bora in the light, wearing her new clothes, having her hair down and with no makeup on… She looked incredibly beautiful, even in this state.

“Good morning, Bora. I told my mama and papa that you’re here.”

“What did they say?”

“They want to meet you; They look as if they don’t believe me.”

“I wouldn’t believe you at all, truthfully.”

The taller girl gave her a light punch to her arm, making her snicker.

“I’m jesting, Siyeon, I’d love to meet them.”

Siyeon was ready to hold her hand, but decided not to, heading to the door and holding it open for her. “Mama, papa, meet Bora.”

“Oh, my goodness, it is the princess,” Her father was wide-eyed. Then, he shook his head, showing his biggest grin and bowing to her, “Good morning, your highness!”

“Uh, papa!” Siyeon went and grabbed his arm. “She would much rather only be called Bora and not treated like a royal.”

“It’s alright if you’re more comfortable with referring to me formally,” Bora added.

“Oh!” Her father stood up straight. “I quite like that! Welcome to the village, Bora! Hope you enjoy your time here!”

“I’m confident I’ll have a great day here! It was nice meeting you two, Mr. and Mrs. Lee.”

“Oh, please, just call me papa! Mr. Lee is too formal!” He heartily laughed, making Bora laugh nearly as loud.

“It’s a pleasure meeting you, Bora,” her mother smiled warmly, nodding her head. “We must speak more in the evening.”

“Captain’s all yours for the day, wolf pup! See you two at supper!”

“Okay, papa.” She hugged him tight, then hugged her mother, giving her a kiss on her head. “Have a good day.”

When her parents left, Bora began giggling, lifting her hand to her mouth.

“What?” Siyeon laughed with her.

“Wolf pup.”

She rolled her eyes. “I really enjoyed Little Red Riding Hood.”

“Children usually dislike the big bad wolf, Siyeon.”

“My papa shouldn’t have made him sound better than her! I always asked him to tell me that one; It’s my favorite.”

“I should’ve known. You howled at the full moon every time it was out.”

“I was a child then!”

“Yes, but you continued until you were a teenager.”

Siyeon was going to reply, but her memories reminded her that she was, in fact, sixteen when she did that last.

“Let’s head over to the farm!” She said instead.

Siyeon felt it was a little colder than usual, so she took one of her mother’s shawls and gave them to Bora, along with one of her shoes she had lying around.

“Would you like breakfast?” Siyeon hung her satchel across her torso, taking half of her savings, as she _must_ introduce her to Miss Minji. “I can buy you a red apple! It’s a long trip.”

“Is that alright?”

“Absolutely. I’ll find the nicest red apple for you.”

The two girls left outside together, heading to the marketplace first. Bora did her best to hide her face and looked around at each merchant table, seeing all of their own grown fruits or jarred goods on them.

“They stay outside for hours?”

“From sunrise to sundown,” Siyeon said as she grabbed a dollar from her satchel and bought three red apples from the nice elderly woman. They then headed to the stables.

“Who’s Captain?” Bora asked.

“Our horse!” The brown horse was eating hay when they arrived at the stables. “He’s getting old, but he’s helped us with travel and delivery for years.”

Approaching the horse, he doesn’t react, only turning his head towards them.

“You can pet him,” Siyeon caressed his dark brown mane. “He’s friendly. Oh,” she gave her one of the apples, “that’s for him.”

Bora copied, though she was hesitant and, the moment she placed her hand on his mane, she relaxed, beginning to pet him. She hesitated again as she lifted the apple to his mouth, allowing him to eat it whole. That made her laugh.

“Are you going to handle the reins yourself?”

“Yep! My papa taught me how when I was younger. Would you like to try?”

“I’m quite fine being the passenger, thank you.”

Siyeon chuckled, “I figured.”

“My family isn't the equestrian kind royal families usually are. Well, before us, we were an equestrian family as well.”

“Did you partake in archery to honor your father?”

“That’s correct. We had no interest in horses after learning he was greatly passionate in the sport.”

She guided Captain out of his fenced space and towards their wagon, left with a couple other wagons on the side. While she began setting him up to it, Bora continued to pet him and also watch the younger girl work. She looked to be in awe that Siyeon was doing it so easily, eyes big with wonder and a smile with amazement.

“Okay, he’s ready to go!” Siyeon tugged on one of the straps once more to make sure it was secure. She climbed onto the wagon and held her hand out for Bora to grab and lift her up.

Siyeon pulled her too hard, embracing her so they wouldn’t fall and get injured.

The shorter girl giggled, “You’re rather strong yourself!”

Siyeon felt her face grow hot, her cheeks becoming a bright pink. She awkwardly chuckled, letting her sit down. “Years of delivery…” She cleared her throat, “To the farm, Captain!”

He began their travel, above a saunter, down the middle of the village, allowing Bora to observe her surroundings.

“The house we slept in is new. My papa fixed it recently after the neighbor had gone and gave it to me as a birthday gift. The rest of the village is exactly as I left it.”

“It looks cozy here,” Bora said before biting her apple.

“I don’t know if you could call it that… All of us know each other, help each other out sometimes, but we’re not too close. We struggle financially and… I don’t know if that’ll ever change.”

“If… When,” Siyeon heard her hesitation, wavering out ‘when’, “I do reign over Sinnomia, I shall do what I can to make life here more suitable.”

The younger girl didn’t expect any answers from her, but that was rather pleasant.

She still expected some insults if she’d like to tell them to her.

Bora fixed her shawl, pulling it closer to herself while still biting into her fruit. Siyeon could feel her shivering against her arm.

“How are you not shivering like I am?” Bora pushed herself closer for a little more warmth.

“You get used to it.”

“I’m doubtful I could get accustomed to it in a day.”

Bora then grabbed the hem of her shawl and wrapped it tighter to her body, making Siyeon chuckle. She wanted to think she was being dramatic, but she knew she wasn’t.

“You can hug my arm, if you’d like to.” She offered.

The shorter girl did so with no hesitation.

Siyeon began pointing out everyone to Bora. She had plenty of stories to tell about everyone in the village, as she had the same neighbors her entire life, saying how she’d interacted with everyone at some point. They were mostly stories about little times she helped them, almost telling nearly identical situations, but Bora smiled and nodded while listening. They then passed her mother’s bakery stall and then Miss Minji’s library.

“Oh, that yellow building with all the little paintings belongs to Miss Minji. I consider her like a third parent to me, I’d love to introduce you to her later.”

“And I would love to meet her later.”

After that, Bora simply asked questions regarding the farm, like if it was like the many acres of land for harvesting bountiful wheat, carrots, and corn and for farm animals like cows to eat grass like she imagined. Siyeon laughed from such innocent curiosity, replying that it was exactly like that, except they were growing lettuce, broccoli, and turnips instead, due to the season. However, there were carrots as well, making Bora proud of herself for getting one correct. It was good for her to ask questions, as she won’t be able to explore them very much. From the sounds of it, she was so happy about the chicken coop, she may not leave it.

She enjoyed looking at the fields of growing vegetables and fluffy clouds nearly covering all of the sky’s bright blue.

Arriving at the farm, the old man was sitting in his usual spot by the barn’s opening, revealing the cows inside. Siyeon stopped by a row of posts and jumped off the wagon, helping Bora down by holding her hand. She tied Captain’s reins to one of the posts and walked onto the farm, heading to the old man.

“Good morning, sir.”

“Siyeon! Good to see you!” He released a raspy laugh after. “Oh, and you brought a friend!”

“Yeah, she’s new to the village!” She turned to her, smiling.

“My name’s Sua!” Bora’s voice made the taller girl jump. It sounded strange. “It’s nice to meet you, sir!”

She was suppressing her accent, making her sound like a completely different person. Siyeon was impressed, albeit very alarmed.

“It’s nice to meet you, young lass!” He tipped his cowboy hat to her. “Say, you look very much like one of the princesses I’ve seen in the newspapers!”

“Thank you, that’s,” Bora took a quick glance at Siyeon, who was smirking, “quite the compliment!”

“You’re welcome! Anyway, what are you looking to do today?”

“I saw your pig pen is looking to need some help. And, uh, Sua here will help with collecting eggs from the coop. Oh, and feeding the chickens.”

“Sounds great!” He then pointed a twitching finger at Bora. “Don’t try to steal any eggs, you hear me?!”

“Loud and clear, sir,” Siyeon replied, then took the picnic basket from inside the barn, fixing the red-and-white plaid handkerchief inside.

Bora followed her to the large chicken coop.

“He didn’t recognize me!”

“He’s always had terrible eyesight. I thought he would, but turns out his sight became worse,” she replied. “Is Sua from the other side of Sinnomia? Your voice sounds strange without your fancy accent.”

She gave her a sheepish laugh, “Just a nickname my friends gave me in secondary. I believe it comes from a main female lead in a play we watched, similar to Romeo and Juliet. We only attended one showing, therefore I cannot recall its title. They said I reminded them of her, both in looks and personality.”

“I think it fits you well.”

“Thank you!”

They were outside of the chicken coop, where some plump brown, black, and white chickens and yellow chicks were already roaming outside.

“Now, you don’t need to be afraid of them, Bora,” Siyeon said as they entered the coop. A lot of the chickens were sitting in their nests. “Simply reach in and take the eggs out.”

She handed the basket to her and stood back, crossing her arms and waiting for Bora to do it. She chose a nest that still had a chicken sitting in it, as she needed to learn that it was okay to take eggs while they were there.

They stood for a few minutes. The younger girl knew that she was in a mix of nervousness and disgust, not used to this environment. Her hand was shaky, reaching towards the nest, only to then put her hand down. She kept taking quick, scared glances at Siyeon, silently asking for help. She eventually shrieked in fear, jumping away and alerting the nearby chickens.

“First of all,” Siyeon chuckled, then went up to the nest, “don’t do that again. Second, it’s okay, Bora. Just—” She reached in and took one egg out, inspecting it and placing it in the basket. “Make sure you get every egg, if there’s more than one.” She then turned her head to the small box at the end of the coop, where a fatter brown chicken was inside with a nest full of eggs. “Except that one. Don’t bother that one.”

“Why not?”

“She’s a broody hen. She’s being maternal and those eggs are fertile. There’ll be more baby chicks soon.” This fact made Bora smile.

“Oh, one last thing, also make sure you check if they have any cracks or holes. Chickens eat their own eggs, you know.”

“They do?”

“Yep! They’re opportunistic with food.”

Bora had a surprised look on her face, turning towards the chicken and, after a few seconds, reaching into its nest and taking a brown-colored egg out. She looked at Siyeon with a bright expression, stars in her eyes and a grin from ear to ear taking over her face. “I did it!”

“Good job! Then, with the feed, just scatter it on the floor. I better not see you individually feeding them with your hands.”

Bora scoffed, “I’m aware that I’m not knowledgeable in this in the slightest, but I’m intelligent enough to know that!”

Siyeon chuckled, then patted her arm, “Just letting you know. I’ll be leaving now, make sure to get every egg!”

The shorter girl looked so genuinely happy from that small feat, Siyeon wanted to hug her from doing so. Never in a million years did she think she’d ever see a princess collecting eggs and be happy about it.

She went to work on her own job, slipping on rubber boots she kept in the wagon. She then went to grab the long broom and a bucket of mixed together bread, fruits and vegetables, softened with water, from inside the barn, getting into the pig pen. It wasn’t the most pleasant job in the world, but she truly chose it because it was perfectly in view of the coop. Just in case Bora needed anything, she only needed to wave her down.

She poured the bucket of feed into the pigs’ trough, allowing her to work on sweeping the ground while they ate. Everything with Bora felt natural. That was how she wanted it to be—having Bora spend a day not worrying about being a princess or her future in being queen. The thought of a princess wearing cheap clothes and enjoying manual labor sounded so comical, yet she was witnessing it right before her eyes. From how big and bright Bora’s smile was, she wished she could take her here every day.

She felt that same happiness she felt when she was able to see Bora in the forest! Looking forward to seeing her and getting to hear how her day was or listen to any issues she wanted to express, getting to hug her and hold her hand, getting to make her laugh and be happy again if she had a bad day, and then Bora did the same for her… She was the highlight of Siyeon’s day.

In the corner of her eye, she saw Bora exit the coop with a basket full of eggs and a few chickens following her outside. Even from how far away she was, she could see she had a glowing, bright smile on her face. She could tell she was laughing as well, loud enough to be heard. She found the chicken feed bag inside and was tossing generous amounts on the ground for them to eat.

Siyeon had to stop for a moment and simply watch. Bora was having fun, despite being in an environment that was the exact opposite to her normal. A part of her wanted to see her be visibly disgusted, finding everything repulsive and would barely touch anything with the tip of her fingers.

However this was _much_ better.

This was exactly what she needed.

“Hi Siyeon!” Bora waved her hand, her voice loud and proud.

“Hi Bora!” Siyeon waved back, her smile hurting her cheeks and her laugh warming her heart.

Just then, a pig nudged hard into her leg, making her lose her balance. She tried her best to stay on her feet but to no avail. She landed into the pigs’ trough, her entire backside getting covered in wet pig food. Some had seeped over to her front, ruining her clothes all-around.

Bora’s laugh grew louder and louder until it was right in front of her.

“Are you alright?!” Bora placed her basket of eggs to the side.

“I’m fine!” She groaned and grunted as she sat up and hopped out of the pen, attempting to brush off the excess food chunks.

“Apologies, perhaps I shouldn’t have greeted you.”

“No, it’s fine!” Siyeon laughed harder. “It made me happy.”

Bora’s eyes finally had light in them again, looking at her with a gentle smile. She was laughing with her same famous laugh.

“Now’s a good time to call it a day, right?” Siyeon was still attempting to remove as much excess slop off of her as she can.

“Yes! I had quite a bit of fun collecting eggs and feeding the chickens. I touched a few of the baby chicks as well!” Bora then picked a piece of wet bread off of Siyeon’s long-sleeve shirt. “You need a change of clothes.”

“Yeah, let’s get our pay for the day and head home!”

Bora was a little uncertain about taking the small amount of currency for her day’s work, but Siyeon repeated her father’s words: “This money is your earning. You must keep it all for yourself. All of your hard work should be rewarded for you only!” She reassured that she wouldn’t need to pay the tax collector, since she didn’t live there and, if he did, she’d give her some of her own to make up for what he took. Still uncertain, Bora took the money and secured it in her pants pocket.

“Thank you for that, Siyeon.”

They were returning to the village, they could finally feel some warmth hitting against their visible skin from the sun; However, the wind was still freezing, overpowering the sun’s rays. Siyeon allowed her to finish the second apple, referring to it as ‘afternoon apple’. It was pathetic, but Bora still laughed.

“I’m glad you really enjoyed yourself. Truthfully, I expected you to hate it or be frightened.”

“I understand that, don’t fret. I’m willing to do new things, especially here and spending time with you! That was the most fun I’ve had in years! I’m looking forward to whatever we do next.”

“I’ll drop you off in front of the bakery, since I have to change. Perhaps my mother will teach you her secret bread recipe.”

“I’ll be able to learn that wonderful recipe?”

“You should mention how much you and your family love it. I think she’ll be more likely to do so.”

“It’s amazing! It… It was the closest I had to you when you first began working there. It’s delightful and I can’t wait to make it myself… It’s evident that they’re so incredibly loving, both of your parents.”

“My parents always showered me and my sisters with lots of love! I thought Queen Sera would be extra affectionate since she raised you and your sisters by herself.”

“Not by herself, necessarily. For a time, only the nannies and guards took care and protected us. Perhaps it’s correct to say that we aren’t as close as we should be, despite the bountiful amount of affection she gave when she did pay attention to us,” she explained. “I cannot fault her. She’s ruling a kingdom all on her own.”

“I remember you always telling me what you and your friends did.”

“I yearn for those days. It was fun going to plays, watching horse races and archery events. I taught them archery and it was a mess! They’re all queens now… They always found it strange that I never showed interest in boys. I was immensely popular with them…"

“That's…” Siyeon chewed on her cheek, keeping her eyes forward, saying, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Me neither, truthfully. I’m simply… doing what makes everyone else at the castle happy.”

“What makes you happy?”

Bora stayed quiet for a moment, shifting in her seat.

“Right now makes me happy…” She muttered, nearly missing it.

Siyeon’s lips curved into a gentle smile. Her every word was entwined with vulnerability. So relieved to vocally recognize it, but… a hint of disappointment that this might be the one and only instance.

“I always strived to make you happy… remember?”

“How could I ever forget…”

Siyeon dropped her off at the tiny bakery and went to have a quick freshening up at home. She had to stay back for a few minutes, hand washing her clothes with the now-cold water in her mother’s large metal bucket and washboard. She dumped the water outside and hung her her wet clothes on her mother's clothesline behind their home, letting it dry.

Finishing up with retrieving more water from the village well and returning it home, she walked to the bakery, greeting some of the merchants and little children from Miss Minji’s library. She was about to enter the bakery before she heard Bora and her mother speaking, stopping in her tracks.

“She was a happy child! Despite this lifestyle, living with nearly nothing, she was so happy. She always made me and her papa laugh and smile.”

“It’s apparent that she still does so.”

“She looks to be better now.”

Bora pauses for a few seconds, then asked, “What do you mean?”

“There was a time where that simply stopped. It happened overnight. She wasn’t extremely unhappy, per say, but it was clear she wasn’t as happy as before. We asked around the time it started and she only ever responded that she was getting old and tired. As her mama, I had instincts that that wasn’t the case. I asked Minji, my close friend, and she helped with taking care of them before, and she was unsure, too.” Her mother then chuckled. “She looks happy with you here. I’m happy to see Siyeon with a friend.”

“I’m glad to have gotten to know her.”

Siyeon gulped and then walked in, interrupting them and joining them in making the loaves of bread. She didn’t say much, simply listening with minimal additions, continuing her work. There were a few times when Bora accidentally smeared some flour on her face from attempting to dry some minor perspiration. Siyeon would take her sleeve and clean it off for her, seeing a visible blush on her cheeks.

“I think I’ll be fine from here, my dears,” her mother said as she placed all of the loaves of bread into the wood-fired oven.

“Are you sure?” Siyeon asked.

“I’m sure. Plus, Bora should meet Minji! She’s a big part of your life, you know.”

“Already planning on it, mama!” Siyeon then looked at Bora, who was fixing her shawl on her head. “Let’s go?”

“Yes, I can’t wait to meet her. Miss Minji, correct?”

“Yep! Okay, mama,” she kissed her head, “we’ll see you at supper.”

“See you then, my dears.”

Siyeon placed her hand on Bora’s back and walked side by side with her, heading to the light yellow building.

“How was telling her about you and your family loving her bread?”

“She nearly fainted! I was so worried for her, but the moment she felt alright again, she taught it to me! The recipe is more complex than I imagined.”

“You think so?”

“I believed it was only more sugar, but it was more than that! Exact ingredients and exact measurements, or else it’ll lose the signature taste.”

“If you’ll ever practice some more, you’ll be able to do it with your eyes closed!”

“I hope I’ll be able to! Maybe become closer with the kitchen crew as well. They seem fun.”

“They are! I hope you’ll be able to create more friendships within the castle.”

“I’ve always wanted to.”

They arrived at the library and Bora tried to hold her shawl tighter around herself as Siyeon walked in alone. All the children were reading silently and Miss Minji was walking around, making sure they were focused.

“Siyeon.” She smiled her same motherly smile.

“Miss Minji!” Siyeon gave her a quick hug. “Firstly, I want to give you your half of my earnings.”

Miss Minji looked ready to decline once more; however, Siyeon already walked away to her desk, where she opened one of the empty drawers and placed it inside.

“And, um, there’s someone here I want you to meet.”

“Oh? Who might that be?” Miss Minji’s smile became bigger. “Should be impossible, but is it who I think it is?”

Siyeon smiled back, nodding her head.

“I’d love to meet her then."

Siyeon felt a little nervous. She never forgot how she cried to Miss Minji because of Bora. Miss Minji never had any ill feelings towards her, but Siyeon couldn’t help it. She knew what Bora was to her. It wasn’t like everyone else where they only saw friends.

“Hi!” Miss Minji greeted the princess, her arms out and welcoming her for a hug, “It’s so nice to meet you!”

Bora smiled back and accepted her embrace. “It’s wonderful to meet you as well, Miss Minji!”

“You’re a beautiful girl.”

“Thank you.” Bora ran her hand through her hair, fixing it from their messy appearance. She was smiling big, more twinkles in her eyes.

“Siyeon has spoken to me a few times regarding you.”

“She has…?” Bora glanced at her as her smile fell.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I heard good things. How has your day here been?”

Bora sighed, her smile returning, “It’s been the best! I’ve never had a delightful day like this before in my life.”

“I’m glad to hear it! You’ll be here for only a day?”

“Yes, in the morning, I must return.”

“I see. Would you like to meet the children?”

“Would that be alright?”

“It’ll be fine! You can go in, I can introduce you and perhaps they’ll ask for help on how to read a sentence.”

“Then I’d love to!”

The three walked inside and Siyeon sat by Miss Minji’s desk, watching Miss Minji as she introduced Bora in front of the classroom. The children were between five and seven. Some of them audibly gasped.

“Miss Bora!” One little girl raised her hand as high as she could, once Miss Minji finished introducing the princess to them.

“Uh, yes?” Bora raised her eyebrows, giving her her full attention.

“You’re really pretty!”

This caused the room to erupt with children's voices yelling in agreement. The three adults laughed, Bora’s overpowering everyone else’s. Siyeon kept her eyes on her. Hearing her laugh was music to her ears and her smile lit up the room.

She felt it deep in her heart. It skipped more than once. It warmed her entire body. It sent electricity through her nerves.

The room quieted down and Miss Minji and Bora walked around the room while the children returned to reading. However, some of them were still awestruck by her, making her tell them to focus.

Siyeon was awestruck too.

* * *

When it was time for the children to return to their parents, each child gave Bora a tight hug, saying it was nice meeting her. She hadn’t stopped smiling since she walked in.

Siyeon waited with her back against the building, waving goodbye to the children and giving some high fives to those who asked for one.

“This was so pleasant, Miss Minji!” Bora said excitedly as she stood up, watching the last child run home. “Thank you for allowing me to stay in and meet them.”

“They absolutely adored you, Bora.”

“It felt nice to be Miss Bora.” She then grabbed Miss Minji into an embrace. “Thank you so much.”

“It was my pleasure, dear,” she patted her back.

She gave a quick glance to Siyeon, who also hadn’t stopped smiling at all. It was hurting her cheeks, but she didn’t care.

“Well,” Miss Minji pulled away, “you two better get going. I have to plan for tomorrow.”

“It was nice meeting you, Miss Minji.”

“And you as well, Bora. Enjoy the rest of your day, you two.”

The two girls left, heading towards Siyeon’s home.

“What do you do now?” Bora fixed her shawl.

“Go home. My mother should be preparing supper now,” Siyeon then grabbed her hand, giving it a quick squeeze. “After supper… Do you want to head to the forest?”

“Can we?”

“Yeah, we can have our alone time there and that’ll conclude today.”

Siyeon turned her head and saw that Bora was already looking at her first. Her captivating brown eyes were the color of cinnamon with glints of gold as the afternoon sun hit them.

“I’d love that.”

Entering her parents' home, they were there. Her father was napping on the bed and her mother was preparing something in the kitchen.

“Does papa nap now?" Siyeon asked as she took off her satchel. "He never did that before."

“It was an extra tiring day for him with the butcher. Don’t worry! As soon as this starts cooking, he’ll be wide awake.”

“What are you making?”

“Oh, I know we leave the meatloaf as a birthday tradition, but I thought it’d be wonderful to make it for Bora. In a way, it’s a gift!”

“I like that, actually!” Siyeon chuckled, then turned to Bora. “You’re going to enjoy it, Bora.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” She replied, smiling at her.

“Would you like to learn this recipe as well, dear?” Her mother asked.

“I’d love to, Mrs. Lee!”

“Wow, learning the secret bread recipe and the secret meatloaf recipe? You’ve really captured my mama’s heart, haven't you?”

“She’s good company, Siyeon!” Her mother said. “I’m showing my appreciation of her being here!”

“I know she’s good company, mama. That’s why we’re friends.” Siyeon sat down on her designated pillow at their chabudai table.

Her eyes were on Bora helping her mother in the kitchen, laughing with her and listening to her mother’s instructions. At one point, Bora was startled by how they lit their oven: with a flint and steel they’ve had for God-knows-how-long. Siyeon had to hold back her burst of laughter then from Bora’s screech of fear.

“Your onion cuts are very irregular, dear.”

“Oh, will that affect the food?”

“No, not really. It’s good to have consistency; Keep that in mind.”

Siyeon couldn’t help her smile. Bora was thriving after _years_ of obligations and worries.

The younger girl was starting to understand her father’s words regarding love. How it felt to be in love. How things felt radiant, lively, bright… She wanted to add her own definition too. In times like this, everything thaws and melts when she was with her, bringing her comforting warmth. Not into the summer, but in the height of autumn, when everything was perfect temperature for close embraces in bed and making homemade food, sharing it at the table. Not too bright as her father described, but in that perfect spot where it wrapped her tightly and cozily.

“Are we having meatloaf again?” Her father’s voice jolted her into reality.

“We have another thirty minutes left!” Her mother replied. “Can you please set up the glasses of milk for us?”

Her father placed down their small cups filled with milk, then sat down next to her. “How was your day, girls?”

“It was marvelous, Mr. Lee! I collected eggs and fed chickens!” Bora turned around and hopped with joy. It was so amusing that something like that was the most amazing and fascinating experience for the princess. “I learned how to make bread and helped the children in Miss Minji’s library! This was such an amazing day!”

“Glad to hear it! And again, call me papa, Bora!”

The princess chuckled, nodding her head. “My apologies, papa.”

Siyeon nearly released a snort from how strange it sounded from Bora. Her proper accent made it sound awkward and slightly forced.

“You had a fun time, wolf pup?” He put his arm around her shoulders.

“Yeah, papa. I had a great time taking her there and telling her about everything,” Siyeon laughed, dipping her head down. “It was funny. At the farm, the old man’s eyesight is so bad, he said she looked like the princess.”

“He treated me normally! That’s what I wanted!” Bora’s smile grew bigger. “‘Don’t try to steal any eggs!’” She made her voice deeper to copy his voice, making everyone laugh.

“That’s fantastic to hear!”

Siyeon and Bora locked eyes on each other, sharing a moment as her father’s voice talking to her mother drowned away, smiling warmly. It felt nice to finally look at her and feel something pleasant and warm instead.

“Food’s ready!” Her mother announced.

Siyeon redirected her gaze to the table, quietly clearing her throat.

“Got a little lost there, huh, wolf pup?” He gave her a squeeze, then tousling with her hair.

“Just a bit.”

As she placed the meatloaf in the middle of the table, he announced, “Well, Bora, it's for birthdays, but to keep up with tradition, get as big of a piece as you like!”

Bora's eyes sparkled as she looked at the meatloaf in awe and, with a knife in her hand, she cut it perfectly equal, right down the middle.

“You’re going to regret that, Bora,” Siyeon said.

“I’m content with how I cut it, thank you.” Bora grabbed her fork, furrowing her brows and scowled at her.

Siyeon watched as she cut a piece and stuffed it into her mouth, chewing it quickly at first, then it gradually slowed down.

She looked at Siyeon from her plate, giving her sad, puppy dog eyes.

“Delicious, right?” Siyeon wiggled her brows at her.

Bora nodded, making Siyeon nod in reply as if to say ‘I told you so’. After the other half had been divided into three, Siyeon cut hers one more time and gave the bigger half to Bora.

“So, Bora,” her mother sat down across from her, beginning to cut her meatloaf share, “I wanted to ask about your family. What are they like?”

Bora gulped down some milk before responding, “We’re a relatively close family. Nowadays, we’re rather serious, but we have our playful moments. I can’t say much else because of all of the changes happening. I have my mother and my two younger sisters. Oh, and we have two pets as well, Pie and Nannan. Um… Sadly, my father passed away when I was a child.”

“Oh, we’re sorry to hear that, dear.”

“It’s alright. I was three and I don’t have any memories of him. All I know was he was a great husband to my mother and he cared for me and my sisters very dearly while he was still alive. My mother only had compliments for him, so I believe he was a fantastic man.”

“May I ask how he passed?”

“Tuberculosis. Happened a couple months after my youngest sister was born and he passed soon afterwards.”

“Our condolences.”

Bora nodded, “Appreciated… One of our family traditions was that the king and queen must rule until they both pass or become too ill to continue, but… It’s evident my mother is exhausted from ruling alone. This is the first time any of our traditions had been broken.”

“Hope you’ve been doing fine in this stressful time.”

“I’m doing alright, Mrs. Lee. I’ve already studied everything I needed and have found a suitable man to be my husband…” Bora took another bite from her meatloaf, eating slowly. It lasted for nearly a minute before she spoke again. “I have to marry first before I can inherit.”

Siyeon wasn’t listening after that. She was telling her life and her future plans with a steady voice, but she knew what she was thinking. What she was feeling. How she was only doing this for her family and their thousand-year-old traditions. Bora glanced at her a few times with a smile, but her gaze held something that, if you looked close enough, the dark windows to her soul would open, and there was deep, deep sadness in them.

The supper continued on with Siyeon only vaguely hearing the conversation Bora and her mother were sharing. Her father had caught her attention sometimes with a little quip or two, but for the most part, Siyeon wanted to go to the forest already for more alone time with Bora.

After cleaning up and thanking them for the fulfilling meal, Siyeon and Bora went into their separate home.

“I wish I could repeat this day,” Bora removed her shawl, folding it and draping it on top of the bed next to her dress.

“Me too.”

Bora stood by the tiny bathroom door, holding her thin towel to her chest. Only Siyeon’s oil lantern was dimly lighting the room, yet she looked so heavenly, its gentle orange-yellow light revealed her, subtle and creating a beautiful, alluring aura to her. From her tiredness, her half-lidded eyes still gazed at her with such close attention, as if Siyeon was the only thing in existence to her.

She smiled, speaking with every word woven with love, “Thank you for making me happy.” She then giggled after, “The evening’s arrived. We still have the forest left.”

It was quiet, Siyeon occasionally yawning as she waited for Bora to finish changing her clothes and then Bora would yawn as she waited for Siyeon to finish. However, deep within them, they weren’t tired at all. They needed these last few hours together before tomorrow.

Before their lives will revert to their normal.

“Ready to leave?” Siyeon asked.

“Yes.”

They went out, back into the late sunset, hand in hand and sharing the same blanket as the one Siyeon used yesterday, and walked in silence in the chilly weather. Siyeon’s heart couldn’t settle, millions of thoughts running in circles in her mind. She was preparing, had been for quite some time, yet it was happening and it felt like she hadn’t prepared at all. After such an incredible day, everything she wanted to say or thought of saying left her mind.

Right before they entered the forest, she felt the shorter girl shiver again. Siyeon let go of her hand and took hold of the blanket, wrapping her arm around her shoulder and held her closer and firmer.

Perfectly fitted together.

“We should continue walking instead of sitting.”

“Okay.”

So they did, stepping over branches and avoiding bushes. The tension was unusually high, too high for her liking. Siyeon remembered the times she went alone and ended up staying alone, slowly fearing the setting sun and the dark, feeling even more alone than she’d ever felt. Holding Bora made all of her fear melt away, wanting to protect Bora as much as she could.

“This is the best day of my life, Siyeon. I mean it wholeheartedly! I felt normal here! I wasn’t Princess Bora, someone people worshiped and praised and would do anything for. I was Bora. I fed chickens, I learned how to make bread and meatloaf, I helped children learn how to read—I feel so free here!” Bora pushed herself closer to the taller girl, wrapping her arms around her torso. “Thank you so much, Siyeon… I mean it with every fiber of my being.”

“My pleasure, Bora… Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For sacrificing your time for me.”

Bora laughed, slipping out of Siyeon’s arm and blanket, bumping her arm into her hers. “You’re worth it, Siyeon.”

Wordlessly, she bumped into her in return, hitting her harder.

Then Bora gave her a shove.

“That’s not nice to do, Bora.”

“What are you going to do about it?” She shoved her harder. “Huh?”

Siyeon shoved her harder.

As they both laughed, harder and harder, continuing to shove each other, Bora then ran off, making Siyeon run after her, leaving her blanket behind. They ran through the forest, hopping over branches and avoiding the ones overhead. They ran and ran, not a care in the world.

The memory of when she met Bora that fateful day flashed in her mind. Her young curiosity led her here, running after the prettiest girl she’d ever seen and listening to the loudest, happiest laugh she’d ever heard.

Siyeon sped up, determination coursing through her veins, and then wrapped her arms around Bora’s waist, pulling her back and lifting her off the ground for a second. The older girl squealed as Siyeon held her, their laughter lighting up the entire forest. Bora was able to spin around, which only then their laughter began to die and become quiet between them. They breathed heavily, Siyeon’s arms secured around her, Bora’s holding her shoulders, looking directly into her eyes.

The younger girl’s hesitant hands cupped her cheeks, her warm palms pressing into Bora's warmer skin. Bora’s hands slipped down and wrapped around to her back, sending shivers down her spine. Her cheeks were pink and her brows were scrunched together, eyes searching Siyeon’s face but always returning her gaze in the end. Her hard breathing was shaky, hitting against her lips as she tried to calm herself.

The world had slowed its rotation to a stop, freezing time completely.

She was slow as she leaned in, pulling Bora closer. Her heart was pounding every second, closing her eyes as she parted her lips, feeling like an eternity before she felt Bora meet her halfway, pressing her lips to hers.

She never forgot how soft they were. She never forgot how, like their hands, they fit together perfectly. As if they were meant to be with each other. It’d been years since their first, shyness between them, attentiveness, beginning to move slowly against each other, separating for less than a second to catch their breath before connecting again.

The world disappeared around them as bright, sparkling lights erupted in Siyeon, heat rising to her cheeks and thundering adrenaline awakening her every dormant desire. Siyeon kept her hands on her face, keeping her in place, as if she was getting as much of her as she could. Bora gripped Siyeon’s tunic, increasingly kissing her deeper and sighing against her lips whenever they pulled away.

Siyeon pulled away first, her breath still hard and uneven and her heart still pounding and racing in her chest.

She felt it.

The overwhelming radiance. The hot liveliness. The near-blinding brightness. It lit her every nerve and bloomed an entirely new feeling within her.

Without a second thought—

“I’m in love with you…”

She clenched her jaw. She wanted to hear it in return, but at the same time, she was content if she was only able to say it at all.

After all, Bora wasn’t hers.

The shorter girl then began to tremble, watching her eyes beginning to shine from tears welling up in them, watching her sniffle and her breath was unable to steady, gasping for air.

Siyeon used her thumbs, swiping away the tears that fell, beginning to panic, “I shouldn’t have sai—”

Bora then pushed her lips against her again, closer than ever, gripping her tunic as tightly as she could. Siyeon reciprocated in a millisecond, now feeling her eyes burn and tears streaming down her own cheeks.

Bora pulled away, adding a quick peck afterwards. A beat passed before she replied with a low, weak voice, “I’m in love with you, too…”

Siyeon chuckled airily, sniffling and still feeling her heart racing. She was feeling so many emotions at once, she didn’t know what to think.

Thus, the shorter girl kept talking, “I’ve always been in love with you, Siyeon. That’s why I kissed you on your birthday! I can’t recall when it began, it’s as if I’ve always felt this way… Believe me, Siyeon, I was going to tell you about me being a princess and how I was prepared to risk my title! I was going to admit to my mother that I was in love with you! I only needed a day to gather myself and word it without frightening or angering you! Time is… so cruel to us. My mother declared she needed to break one of our traditions for me to take her place! She forced me to find a man to marry and, since Younghyun was persistent, I chose him! I had to spend so much time with him that I couldn’t make any attempts to see you!”

She couldn’t hold herself together anymore, keeping her eyes down to let her tears fall, tears she’d been holding for much too long.

“That day…” She sharply inhaled, but alas, she was still unable to calm herself. “That day I saw you when I was going through that town with my family… I broke that day. I had a verbal argument with my mother… I admitted to her about being in love with someone already…”

“You told her…?”

“I said I was in love and, in a fit of anger, I told her it was a girl!”

Siyeon pulled her to her chest, holding her tight as her crying became increasingly profuse.

“She was furious! I couldn’t get my mother’s words out of my head… My duties as the eldest is to inherit the throne, to marry a man, to have children and then raise them and teach them our family values that’d been passed down for years! How people who fall in love with people like themselves… Man to man, woman to woman—it was wrong and punishable! A—And, as royalty, falling in love with me is punishable by death for you!”

“Slow down, Bora, breathe…” Siyeon pulled back, drying more of her face with her sleeve instead. “Let’s sit down, okay?”

Siyeon helped her with slow steps and found the blanket on the way, wrapping it around them and holding Bora close again. She was slightly calmer, but she avoided her eyes.

They took a moment of silence as they sat down on their special place's log, leaning onto each other for warmth as the sun was nearly gone.

“At the time…” Bora sniffled, using her own sleeve this time to dry her cheeks. “Handong and Yoohyeon saw and heard that altercation in its entirety… That was the most terrifying our mother had ever been. Since they were only seventeen and sixteen and had never seen her in such a way, they were quick to be on her side.”

“So… they know…?”

“They’re both aware of me having fallen in love with a girl, yes…”

“That’s why Princess Handong asked like that.”

“Asked what?”

“On the day we had our archery lesson, she spoke to me and… asked if we’ve been developing a relationship in secret. Asked if it was only friendship—I told her it was. I was so afraid of her and how she jumped to that conclusion so quickly. Told me all about how they’d execute me and then lock you away.”

Bora’s face changed to an expression of hurt, but she nodded. “She reinforced those negative beliefs under our mother’s orders… Yoohyeon, not so much, but she did as well. If they ever discover us, that is true… They’ll do so publicly and I’ll be placed in a dungeon for as long as it takes until I change my ways.”

“… What did Queen Sera do to you?”

“Thankfully, I wasn't placed in a dungeon for it. My mother’s form of punishment was starvation… I spent months… perhaps a year… consuming minimal amounts of bread with milk, once every three nights, and worked to death. I can’t recall when I was able to eat regularly again… I simply wanted to eat.” Bora then leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I went through all of that for loving you… I was so desperate to fall in love with Younghyun… I nearly believed it…”

Siyeon then started to tremble herself, making Bora embrace her closer. “I’m… such a fool.”

“Why would you say such a thing?”

“I saw you again… I saw you here, in this spot, crying…” She pushed out of Bora’s arms and stood up, looking away from her as she took a few steps forward. “All I had to do was talk to you… If only I hadn’t let that pain get in the way, we could’ve spoken about this sooner! We could’ve talked this out years ago!”

“Siyeon—”

“I thought you decided it was wrong!” She turned to her, meeting Bora’s scared eyes, causing her to shrink. “That we were wrong! That you didn’t want me! I let myself believe you stopped because it turned out to be wrong or wanting me, a girl that was poor, was wrong… I only had to talk to you!”

“Siyeon!” Bora grabbed her arms, holding her in place and glaring at her. “Do you think things would be different had we talked sooner?!”

“I—I… I don’t know.”

“Perhaps it would’ve been the same. I don’t recall ever hearing you… I returned whenever the day was simply too stressful… I was relieved to be here again for comfort and time to myself. No matter now. Siyeon, you had every right to be hurt for what I did… I wish to turn back time and fix what had happened…”

“It wasn’t on purpose… After that, I was really scared. I was hurt because I didn’t know what happened or why… At times, I regretted ever accepting that I felt this way for you.”

“You did…?”

“I grew up with those beliefs that this was strange and abnormal too. Then, I realized I had strong feelings—feelings that were beyond friendly—for you. That’s what I told Miss Minji! I was scared and nervous and it took me a long time and Miss Minji’s help to accept it… This… I don’t know what to do now…” Siyeon took a deep breath. “You’re still a princess about to be queen and I’m still this poor village girl working for you. Finally telling you that I’m in love with you and you feeling the same is like a dream come true, but…”

Bora’s grip tightened, placing her head in the crook of her neck. “We can’t be together…”

* * *

The two girls spent time in the forest, sitting together on the log and holding each other in comfortable silence. It was dark when they returned, slowly making their way back, having forgotten their lanterns.

They were silent as they entered, lit their lanterns on the bedside table and corner of the room. After laying the blanket down, Bora lied down first and Siyeon followed. She froze when Bora got on top of her, straddling her hips and wordlessly asking for more kisses.

Siyeon met her lips halfway, hugging her tight and Bora pressing closer into her. They shouldn’t be doing this. One should’ve been enough. One kiss and one confirmation of their feelings for each other should’ve been enough.

But it wasn’t enough.

They were still kissing until they couldn’t breathe anymore, until the cold room was hot, until Bora flipped them around, holding the taller girl as close as she could. They had imprinted themselves onto each other enough, but it didn’t _feel_ as if it was enough.

They needed more. They kept on going because they _needed_ more. They needed so much more to never truly forget how they felt against each other.

Some time went by in a blur as they kept on, vaguely focusing on what they were doing, but they smiled. They smiled and laughed, simply enjoying what they could finally do together.

More, and more, and more…

The room was burning hot by the time Siyeon had come back to her senses, awakened by hearing a hum of contentment from the girl beneath her.

She pulled away, opening her eyes and noticing her glasses had fogged. Once they cleared, she was met with Bora’s dazed and dilated eyes, slightly swollen lips, and droplets of perspiration on her forehead. She was visibly exhausted, looking deep in Siyeon’s eyes with passion, yet she looked as if she wasn’t finished.

“We should stop…” Siyeon muttered, breathing heavily against her lips. She noticed she herself was sweating, perhaps more than Bora was. Strands of her hair stuck to her temples and cheeks, moving them off.

Bora was annoyed, whining and gripping her arms so strongly, her nails were indenting into her skin.

She simply pulled her in again to continue what they started. The taller girl’s mind went hazy at first, blinded by the continuation of acting on their emotions and truly feeling and expressing their love for each other.

No.

This was enough.

She sat up this time; Bora whined a little louder.

“Please…?”

“Bora, I’m serious this time… We have to stop.”

Bora, for the past however long it had been, was more than willing to give her everything—Give her all of her. She was seeing too much of her… hearing too many sounds she shouldn’t hear… feeling skin she shouldn’t touch… placing her mouth and lips where they shouldn’t be…

Bora gave it one more attempt, tugging her harder, but Siyeon was able to stop it, keeping the palms of her hands firmly planted on the ground.

Siyeon said in a firmer tone, “No, Bora.”

They froze in place, still too close and tension too high. The only noise in their space was their heavy breaths. Bora’s eyes dropped and her breath calmed. She nodded, allowing Siyeon to get off of her. She went to kill the little flames in the lanterns and lied down next to her, scooping Bora into her arms. As she pulled the blanket on top of them, Bora was calm for a moment, resting her head over Siyeon’s quick heartbeat.

Siyeon embraced her tight, beginning to feel her trembling, pressing closer to her, though they were as close as they could possibly be.

Siyeon felt a wet spot on her tunic, along with hearing Bora’s weak whimpers, straining to stay quiet. She stared up at the ceiling, wishing she could always protect her and make her as happy as she was today for the rest of time.

She could only hope. Hope that Bora won’t get punished for being away, if she gets caught. Hoped that things would slow down for her. Hope for everyone to be more open-minded. Hope that she can build up courage. Hope that she could speak her truth without fear.

“I love you…”

Siyeon nearly missed it. Her whisper was so quiet and soft, it was as if a ghost had passed her by.

She placed a soft kiss on Bora’s head.

“I love you too…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see yall next friday/saturday!!


	13. XII

“Siyeon…”

The younger girl stirred awake at the sound of Bora’s voice. The oil lanterns’ lights had been reignited in their places in the room. She placed her glasses on her face and noticed the princess was leaning on her arm, still lying down next to her.

“It’s already morning…?”

“Unfortunately…” She already had tears in her eyes, reaching over to tuck a lock of Siyeon’s hair behind her ear. She sat up, saying, “You’ll have to help me back into my dress.”

“Do you have to wear it again?”

“I wish to continue wearing your clothes, but if Younghyun has returned, I have one less thing to explain to him.”

Siyeon nodded, noting to bring the clothes with her when she returns and give them to her.

They stood up together and Bora began to remove her clothes. Siyeon froze in place again, watching as more and more of her skin was being revealed, until she was in nothing but her underlinen. She stepped into her dress again, pulling it up.

Her shoulders were still out as Siyeon approached. She fiddled with the silk-like strings, then placed a soft peck upon her left shoulder's skin, eliciting a weak giggle. Admiring the sound, she had to place another one to hear her once more.

"Enjoying yourself?"

"I am… Hope you are too."

Siyeon cleared her throat and helped her, not tightening it too much.

Bora shakily inhaled as she turned around, smiling weakly, perhaps forcefully as well, "Of course, I am. I simply prefer it being placed elsewhere…"

The shorter girl lifted her hand and cupped Siyeon’s cheek, rubbing her thumb against her smooth skin. Simultaneously, they leaned in towards each other and shared one more kiss, deep and slow, communicating to each other that this may be the last time they could ever do this. Pulling away, it ended with a close embrace, wrapped in silence, enjoying their last few minutes together.

“This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do…" Bora kept her face hidden against Siyeon's neck. "I don’t want to leave you…”

“We’ll see each other at the castle.”

She gripped her shirt, uttering her next words lowly, as if she was afraid to speak them, “You know it’ll be completely different…”

“I know… It sounded as if we’ll never see each other again.”

“Only being able to pass by you and greet you for a second at a time and during times to eat… and I’m never sure if I have time to find you then ask to speak. It might as well be ‘never.’”

Bora pulled away first, sniffling before looking up. The two gazed at each other, sadness overtaking their features. Seeing her like this was killing Siyeon inside, and it hurt more that there was nothing she could do now that could fix it.

“I will… see you at the castle?”

“I’ll see you later today.”

Bora kissed her cheek, lasting for a few seconds before pulling back. She took one last deep breath before exiting for good, returning to Duke Younghyun and her life as Princess Bora.

Siyeon decided to freshen up and prepare her own return. As she did so, their entire day played out in her head, a bittersweet smile on her lips.

If Siyeon could have Bora and be in love with her for years to come, she'd be the happiest girl in the world. Live together in the village and not worry about anything. As long as they were together, everything was okay.

If Bora ended up having to be queen, no matter what… For both of them, she’ll leave the castle…

They shouldn’t have to live so close yet so apart.

* * *

Once the carriage arrived, they shared their long goodbyes, her father avoided to cry once more and gave her mother the warmest embrace she could give, then she gave her another blanket to keep her warm on her travel.

She didn’t speak at all, eyes fixated on the forest, directly where her and Bora’s special place was. It held so many secrets and memories. Secrets and memories of two girls contained within dark brown tree trunks and thick green leaves with slivers of light poking through, wanting to shine upon them and give them life. Secrets and memories of two girls’ story of a budding friendship to deep romantic love.

Forests were only supposed to hold scary stories…

She held her satchel on her lap, only holding the folded outfits that Bora wore, along with the little currency she earned from feeding chickens.

She smiled at the memory; She’ll never forget that face she made from grabbing an egg for the first time.

It was all too uncertain.

Being lost in a sea of thoughts, dreams and ‘what ifs’ made time speed up. Next thing she knew, she had returned, crossing the moat. Watching a mother duck and her four yellow ducklings walk along the edge of the bridge, a heavy weight, slow and gravitating downwards, built on her shoulders.

Siyeon simply walked up the long stairs to the castle, feeling strangely at home yet here for the first time.

“Welcome back!” Queen Sera was waiting by large and towering castle doors with Pie in her arms. The little puff ball dog looked to have a big grin on her face while panting with her tongue hanging out, looking extra cute with what looked like a doily collar around her neck.

“I’m happy to return, your majesty,” Siyeon greeted. She had to ignore how Bora mentioned that Queen Sera was cruel to her in the past.

“I hope you had a wonderful birthday.”

“Yes, it was nice spending quality time with my parents! May I ask if you’ll be having a schedule of sorts?”

“Oh, it’s alright! My daughters and I will be traveling much more!” Queen Sera began to walk towards the throne room, prompting her to follow. “We’re preparing for a few council meetings regarding some treaties and upcoming events through the end of this month and half of next month. Next, we’ll be preparing extra early for the Grand Christmas Ball. We’ll be meeting with lots of the closest royal families to our kingdom. The Kangs and Duke Younghyun will be the most important of this extra special event.”

Siyeon’s stomach dropped at the sound of that. She expected Christmas to be the most extravagant event of the year. Their whole romantic arrangement had multiple goals, but there was one goal that was urgent.

“That’s all I could tell you, Siyeon. You may attend to your duties.”

“Yes, your majesty.” She then left to the kitchen crew’s shared chambers.

She felt so uneasy now. She expected it, just not so soon. As she opened the door, she screamed from the eruption of screaming at her first, then engulfed in a giant group hug, with exaggerated sobbing surrounding her and cries of how much she was missed. She laughed at the scene, making sure to hug everyone and pet the heads of those who were crying, both seriously and comedically. They all bombarded her with questions upon questions of the village. Especially Hyunjin, who hadn’t been there in years.

“What are we waiting for?!” Seunghee yelled. “Leave your bag and let’s head to the kitchen! We’re low on your bread, Siyeon!”

Siyeon did so and the crew left their chambers, running to the kitchen and beginning to set up breakfast for the royal family. The village girl was glad to at least get everything involving Bora out of her mind for an hour.

As the kitchen was hectic and chaotic, Yoohyeon entered the kitchen, loudly clearing her throat to capture their attention.

“Your highness,” the phrase murmured through the room.

“I’m here to inform you all that Bora will not be joining us for breakfast this morning.”

Siyeon clenched her jaw, feeling her stomach drop, further than ever before.

“Why, your highness?” Haseul asked.

“Well… She, uh… Our mother strictly said she won’t be eating until supper. For the time being, she is busy with preparations to assume the crown with Duke Younghyun.”

“Shouldn’t she eat, then?” Siyeon kept her voice steady, heart already racing and rattling her ribcage. “Working stressfully on an empty stomach will only make it worse.”

Everyone mumbled in agreement.

“I’m simply following my mother’s words. I asked her to at least give her something minor for afternoon tea, but she firmly declined.”

“Okay… Thank you for informing us, Princess Yoohyeon.”

“You may return to your duties.”

Siyeon felt lightheaded then. She wanted to blame it on the long trip, but she knew why she felt sick.

Younghyun returned and caught Bora. Right now, she was forced into the same punishment she went through years ago.

“I need a second…” She backed away from her workspace, squeezing her eyes tight as a sickening stirring filled her stomach.

Everyone stopped in an instant, visibly worried for her. She couldn’t stop thinking about Bora, visibly exhausted and groggy from lack of food, left to only study and spend time with her future husband. Siyeon was so physically sick that Seunghee took her to the doctor upstairs, finding it difficult to breathe.

* * *

Siyeon was lying down in Seunghee’s bunk, letting her since she was feeling too sick to climb to her own bed. She was in about five minutes of silence when there was a gentle knocking on her door, allowing themselves in before she responded.

“Happy late-birthday, Siyeon,” Yubin walked in first, holding neatly-folded clothes in her hands.

“Happy late-birthday!” Gahyeon followed, holding a plate with a vanilla cake slice on top.

“Thank you…” Siyeon still felt an ache, but she sat up, smiling at her sisters.

“I wanted to bake, but I went out and bought one instead,” Gahyeon handed her the saucer.

“I still appreciate it.”

“And we bought more clothes for you.” Yubin patted the top of the pile. “There’s an extra big t-shirt, just how you like it, and new pants.”

“Thank you, you two.”

Siyeon then planted kisses on both girls’ cheeks as they sat at the edge of her bed. She took her fork and cut into her cake, eating it. It was slightly bland, with only a hint of vanilla if she kept it on her tongue long enough. It was the thought that counted.

“We went to the kitchen, but the staff said you were feeling sick and in here. Are you sick from the cold?” Yubin placed her hand on Siyeon’s forehead. “You don’t have a temperature.”

“No, I felt a little lightheaded earlier. I think it’s from the carriage ride over. I’ll be able to help with supper in the evening.”

“Okay, well, tell us! How was visiting mama and papa?”

“It was great! Worked with papa, visited Miss Minji and saw her library is used to teach the village children, and, get this, mama made meatloaf for me both nights!”

Gahyeon gasped, “Lucky!”

“Oh! And the neighbor left the house next door months ago! Papa decided to fix it and it’s my own now!”

“Double lucky! I hope we could all go soon…” Gahyeon crossed her arms, jutting out her bottom lip.

“Hopefully next time Queen Sera will allow it. How were you two here? Anything different happened in two days?”

“Not really,” Yubin replied.

“I became closer with Yoohyeon!” Gahyeon perked. “She’s very funny! We talked a lot about each other’s lives, mostly hers since it’s more interesting. She told me something rather shocking yesterday!”

“What is that?”

“It’s regarding Princess Bora. When she was nineteen, she and Queen Sera had this enormous argument! She had never seen her mother so enraged in her entire life! She heard that Princess Bora had said she’d fallen in love! With another girl!”

Siyeon and Yubin shared an uneasy expression with each other, then looked at Gahyeon again.

“Wow…” Yubin drawled.

“It was interesting to hear! How unfair is it for Queen Sera to tell her own daughter that she can’t be with who she really loves?!”

Siyeon internally exhaled a heavy breath of relief.

“Extremely unfair! Nearly everyone isn’t quite… okay with that concept. I’m quite proud that you’re okay with it, Gahyeon.”

“Honestly, I wasn’t in the beginning when I heard about it. It was only unheard of to me! I understand it now! Which leads me to this,” Gahyeon placed her hand on Yubin’s shoulder, “if your and Binnie’s relationship is like that, then I support you and think you two make a great pair.”

Yubin chuckled, nodding her head, “Thank you, Gahyeon. I really appreciate that.”

Siyeon smiled at her sisters. She felt safer again. Not to the point that she’ll tell them right this second, but she was more confident in telling them in the future.

“Will you guys stay until I’m finished with this?” Siyeon didn’t want to finish it, truthfully. It was too bland, but she’ll finish it for Gahyeon.

“That’s what we planned on doing!” Gahyeon replied.

“Perfect. I love you two a lot.”

“And we love you!”

Siyeon made this her time to spend with her sisters and the crew. She ate the rest of her cake slowly as Gahyeon asked questions regarding Binnie and how they should all have afternoon tea sometime. Her younger sisters’ happiness certainly lifted her own mood, looking at them and sometimes adding in her own thoughts, if she had any.

When she finished, she left with them and went to the courtyard where the crew was playing baseball. She stayed on the side for now, since she ate cake and didn’t want to feel sick again. She sat with Kahei as she kept score, seeing Heejin’s team was winning. Kahei mentioned that Heejin nearly threw the ball into Yeojin's eye. Siyeon wanted to laugh, but she was still traumatized from getting hit in her side, so she only yelled at Heejin to be careful.

However, her mind was still on Bora. The princess was starved and forced to work at this moment. She wished she could do something. Anything! If Siyeon could erupt and speak up to Queen Sera that her eldest daughter was suffering and wasn’t excited to be married soon, she would.

Marriage should be a delightful expectation, not a dreadful burden.

When supper came around and Siyeon helped with serving them, Bora wasn’t there. Her seat at the table was empty, her chair pushed in and her plate, saucer, and glass goblet were still clean.

Before Siyeon could think about asking the question, Seunghee beat her to it.

“Princess Bora won’t be joining?”

“Not tonight, no,” Queen Sera responded. Her smile was still the same kind one, yet there was an underlying eeriness about it. “Her workload is much larger today.”

She was being fed tonight, but what if it was every three nights…?

All Siyeon could think about was that day. If she had the ability to repeat it, bring her back in time to it, she would in a heartbeat.

Seunghee had to tug her by the arm to get to return to the kitchen with them.

“How does Princess Bora look out there?” One of the cooks asked.

“She’s not there…” Haseul said with a hopeless tone.

“Do you think we should say something?”

Seunghee shook her head. “We can’t simply say something at this point! This Queen Sera… It’s best we don’t mess with her.”

“How about we mention it to the princesses?”

“That could potentially work! Perhaps Princess Yoohyeon would be the better choice. She and Princess Bora share their room, so they must be closer.”

“And then, she could tell Queen Sera!”

Siyeon wanted to believe that it was easy.

After what Bora had told her, Queen Sera wasn’t going to listen to anyone about what she could and could not do to her daughter. She was still being kind, but it was hiding under her anger. It was quite spine-chilling…

Sighing internally, she went on working with the crew, cleaning up the dining table, and cleaning the kitchen, they decided to play a few games of checkers in the drawing room, as the evening was too frigid to do anything.

After a countless amount of games (and Yeojin nearly battering Sooyoung over the head with the gameboard), they headed to their chambers. The crew wasn’t surprised when, after they'd all cleaned up, Siyeon informed them that she needed to walk around to tire herself beforehand.

It felt lonely.

Empty.

Suffocating.

Abandoned.

 _Too_ silent.

Siyeon was powerless in the castle. Being in this atmosphere, all alone, reminded her of when she told Bora directly that, compared to her, she wasn’t important. She was the lowest of the low.

Her imagination had been overtaken by different realities. Different realities that made her and Bora happy. Happy to be together and not worry about what people thought or believed of them. To just exist together.

Her head felt so full of pressure, pressing against her skull and pulsing against her brain, thinking of ways this could possibly work out for her and Bora in this reality. To be able to bring Bora back to the village, live there together, wake up to her in her arms every morning and come home to her every night after their hard work days—It was a wonderful fantasy. A smile should’ve grown on her face from the mere thought of it.

But it was only a thought.

As she was about to turn the corner, Pie ran up to her, running and hopping around her legs.

“Apologies!” Yoohyeon was already in her nightgown and her hair down in waves as she came up.

“We seem to only meet like this,” Siyeon said as she carried Pie off the ground.

“That’s rather comical, isn’t it?” She giggled, then took the small dog into her possession. “Shall we walk together like before?”

“That’d be lovely. I… have a few questions for you.”

“Are they regarding my sister?”

Siyeon chuckled, walking alongside her down the long hallway, passing the courtyard. “Predictable, I take it.”

“That and you were all worried about her… She finally opened up to me. About how she had felt for the past years, how she felt about becoming queen, why she was feeling the way she was feeling… I can’t explain how… broken, she is now.”

“Mind I ask what she said? Not like details, but… just an idea?”

“It’s quite alright. Turns out, all these years, she’s been in love with someone… Someone she always saw in secrecy and she expressed that she fell more and more in love every day. Or, while they still met. Separated for a time, but she expressed she sees this someone again… Bora and our mother had this argument years ago, with Bora admitting she had been in love with a girl… She told me that she still met with her and is still deeply in love with her…”

“How do you feel about that?”

“It… explained everything. Why this marriage to Duke Younghyun has put a lot of strain on her… She’s so miserable, Siyeon… Our mother is forcing her to not eat and then work without rest because she was caught by Duke Younghyun when she was sneaking back into the residence he left her when he had serious parliament business to attend to. He was angry, therefore he told our mother and now she’s being punished. She admitted that she ran away for the day and needed time to breathe. That severely angered our mother. Bora’s now under high surveillance and I’m staying with Handong and Nannan.”

“Was she… able to explain at all?”

“No, she was scolded right away and demanded to only focus on her duties. It wasn’t until around afternoon that I was able to find time and talk to her during her studies. That’s when she explained it… I wish there was something I could do for her. We irritated each other a lot when we were younger, but that didn’t mean we hated each other. I’d run through hell and back for her! Our mother seems quite desperate now; She’s exhausted as well.”

“That doesn’t mean she should place it all on her daughter’s shoulders.”

“That is true…”

Siyeon gulped and stiffened her back, gathering her courage. It took her a moment of silence before asking, “But how do you feel about that? About her being in love with a girl?”

Yoohyeon hummed, neither a good or a bad reaction. The village girl was expecting the worst. From what Bora said, Yoohyeon didn’t reinforce those negative beliefs as much before, but if Princess Handong and Queen Sera thought that way, then so will she.

“I… feel sorry for her. Love is a beautiful thing. I feel awful for not defending her at the time when they had their argument. I love her to death. It’s about time that Bora was happy again and be able to marry whoever that girl is that captured her heart and kept it all these years.”

At least Yoohyeon was nicer and more open to the idea. Siyeon wished she was brave enough to tell her that she was the girl.

“It’s… difficult breaking traditions.”

“Absolutely. Especially now that it’s been going on for I-don’t-know-how-many years… We’ve already broken one; Our mother won’t allow breaking another. I feel terrible for Bora. I hope I can spend more time with her in the morning. Or, any time at all, for that matter.”

“I see…”

“I’ll keep trying to convince my mother to give Bora some breathing room. I want her to be able to confide in me more. I’m… sure she’s lonely. On second thought, I shall return to our chambers instead.”

Siyeon walked the youngest princess to her chambers upstairs and, sure enough, two guards were standing outside of their shared chambers, stoic and unmoving.

“Unnerving, isn’t it…?” Yoohyeon said, her voice low and heartbroken. They made sure that Bora couldn’t find an escape.

“Very much so…”

“I’ll give her as much comfort as I can. As we can,” she pet Pie, who had fallen asleep in her arms some time ago.

“I’m sure she’ll highly appreciate it.”

“Thank you for walking with me. You are of nice company.”

“Anytime, Yoohyeon. I hope you all rest well.”

“I hope Bora gets even a minute of slumber.”

After saying their goodnights to each other, they separated, leaving Siyeon in the suffocating lonesome once more. She kept walking until she stumbled upon the balcony, the one she and Bora danced together on when she was celebrating her birthday.

She could still see her. Feel her. Holding her hand and shoulder, spinning her and pulling her close. Her smile and laugh that could light up the Grand Hall.

Siyeon leaned on the railing, gazing over the dark kingdom with specks of dark orange street lamps, the backdrop of the nighttime, vaguely purple sky hardly revealing it at all.

Strange. Not very many stars were visible tonight.

She looked down and her eyes bounced from each guard walking stiffly and uniformly around the palace grounds, guns in their hands and against their torsos. Queen Sera was very cautious of Bora and won’t give her a single chance to make a run for it.

Siyeon reached for her cheek and felt a wet droplet against her fingertips. Her lips quivered, putting her hand down and letting her tears drop onto the concrete railing, wishing for time to reverse to their happier times. Not to their special day, but all the way back to their youth, when it wasn't too much of a glaring issue.

Her hope was falling apart, hardly holding on. She wanted one last dying chance, but…

Nothing wanted them to be together…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see yall next friday/saturday!!


	14. XIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just so yall know i made my own damn self cry with this so…  
> enjoy?

Anxiety.

That was all Siyeon felt leading up to Christmas Day. Queen Sera was serious about traveling more and focusing on their duties, leaving the chamberlain of the castle to keep everything in order.

More duties meant less rest for Bora.

The Ryus were rarely around.

Siyeon figured it out on her own that, due to what Bora had done, everything was being rushed. Everything was being hurried to keep Bora from attempting to change anything to help herself.

At one point when the family was around for a few days longer, Gahyeon was able to talk to Yoohyeon, thus Siyeon learned from her about what was happening. Bora was able to eat regularly again halfway through November, but her not eating was now her choice, rather than her punishment.

That worried Siyeon to no end.

From Yoohyeon’s words, the look in Bora’s eyes was so… dull. Like all life was sucked out of them. Her smile could barely stay for seconds before falling, looking down at the ground.

Siyeon attempted to speak to her… meet her in her room… find whatever study she used… _something_.

However, her timing was never in her favor. Duke Younghyun never wanted her out of his sight again. Bora was eerily secretive about what they did, according to Yoohyeon. Siyeon couldn’t imagine why. Or… she could, she only didn’t want to.

Whispers filled the castle, worrying about the princess and her willingness to suffer. Yoohyeon and Princess Handong expressed, in front of all of the staff after they assembled them in the throne room, that they were doing everything they could in order to help Bora.

Days and days passed, nothing changed. The family always traveled and, when they were at the castle, Bora was never around. Siyeon could only hope that with every day that something changes.

But nothing changed.

Siyeon wanted to sob so badly, wishing and wishing every night for something different to happen. Sleeping wasn’t something she could do anymore with all the wishing she did. She knew her efforts were futile and useless, but she still did it.

After days of the Ryus traveling, attending counsels, conferences, meetings, festivities, and soirées, it was already the night before the Christmas Ball.

On this night, Siyeon was playing checkers with Sooyoung in the downstairs drawing room, since she was as restless as her.

“Are you excited for the Christmas Ball, Siyeon?”

“Not really…” Siyeon moved her red checker piece two spaces closer. “Not when Princess Bora has been going through hell…”

“That is… unfortunately true. Princess Bora should be happy because she’s going to be queen soon. I feel like something huge is going to happen during this Ball.”

“Like what?”

“She has to get married first! Duke Younghyun is going to have to propose to her sometime soon. What better, more extravagant way to propose to someone than in front of all of their families, friends, acquaintances and the like?”

Siyeon knew that was the truth, but she didn’t want to believe it. “That’s ridiculous!”

“You think so?”

“Being proposed to in front of people? An entire audience of people? You’re asking for only a yes! You don’t want to humiliate the person proposing, even if you’re not prepared for that kind of commitment!”

“You seem rather… passionate about that.”

“I’m just saying that Princess Bora should be given a chance to decline!”

She crossed her arms and rested them on the table, glaring at the gameboard full of scattered pieces. So far, Siyeon was winning by one.

“Oh, my god…” Sooyoung raised her brows. “You’re in love with Princess Bora.”

Her blood boiled, squeezing her fists until her knuckles were white. “What?! Where in the world did you get that idea from?!”

“Sounds to me like you’re in love with Princess Bora and you don’t want to lose your chance.”

“No, I’m not in love with Bora, I’m just worried about her! She already has a lot on her plate and then he’ll drop this bomb on her?! We attempted everything we could to help her and fix this, and nothing came out of it!”

Sooyoung shrugged her shoulders. Siyeon was confused until she said, “You just said her name without her title.” Then, she took her black checker piece and skipped over two of Siyeon’s, removing them from the board. “But whatever you say, Siyeon.”

Siyeon internally cursed herself. Rolling her eyes, she moved a random piece and didn’t pay attention much to the rest of their time.

She let Sooyoung win.

* * *

Another ball, another night to wear that horrible, frilly, dress and have a braid so tightly pulling at her hair follicles that she could feel her scalp throb and scream for help. Nothing she could do, except wait it out until the ball was over. She tugged at her collar that was tickling at her neck again, groaning in frustration every time it wouldn’t stop making her itchy.

Sooyoung was correct… With the preparations being arranged extra early, as Queen Sera said, and what had happened with Bora, she had to inherit now… Bora hadn’t been given a chance to unravel her facade, allow her one moment of weakness, and once she’ll be forced to say yes, she’ll be stuck in that facade for as long as she’ll live.

“Do you want me to steal you some more of those cupcakes, Siyeon?” Hyunjin asked, standing behind her.

“Yeah, that’d be great. Perhaps sugar can boost my mood.”

“Not excited for the ball?”

“This dress is absurd; I look so foolish in it.”

“We all look like fools then.”

Siyeon turned around and Hyunjin had a deadpan expression, unsmiling and straight at her. Siyeon noticed she had some tendencies that were a little off-putting and this was no different. There were moments where it genuinely confused her.

“I love being in a group of jesters.”

Hyunjin then smiled, nodding her head.

Siyeon was given a silver tray of bite-sized quiche appetizers that had ‘escargot’ in it. Whatever it was, it stunk heavily of garlic and butter and she didn’t want to be anywhere near it. She wished she could hold her breath and hold it for an indefinite amount of time.

Instead, she held the tray with a friendly smile and walked out with the rest of the crew, dispersing into the crowd of socializing royalty. It was a surprisingly popular appetizer, but she still wanted nothing to do with it.

Everyone was dressed as lavishly as possible, with light-colored expensive fabrics and gold and diamond jewelry shining in the chandelier’s luster. The musical ensemble at the end of the room were, at the moment, playing lively music and it set the mood of the ball. Even the conductor looked joyous to be attending such an event.

However, as Siyeon was making her rounds with serving, she was looking for Bora. She hadn’t been able to find her, frustrated that it was difficult to navigate through the crowd. It was also difficult to find a new path, as when she would pick where to walk next, she’d see someone from the crew take the same path, making her take a different direction. Her tray had become empty along the way, causing her to retreat to the kitchen again.

“Got you the cupcake!” Hyunjin announced, handing the white-and-yellow cupcake to her.

“Thank you. I need this; I think I can taste this escargot in my mouth.”

“It practically drowns in garlic and butter… It’s a shame—I want to taste the snail.”

Siyeon choked on her cupcake, startling Hyunjin and alerting her to retrieve a glass of wine to wash it down.

She coughed after taking two big gulps of red wine. “They’re eating snails?!”

“Turns out to be the food of royalty.”

“They’re all royal families! Can’t they eat foods like, I don’t know, lobster?! Or, whatever I read from those random recipe papers here?!”

“I don’t understand it either, Siyeon.”

The village girl went on to finish her cupcake and wine and returned out to the Great Hall, where the crowd was beginning to pair up with someone and start to dance together. As Siyeon searched the crowd, her eyes went to the second floor balcony where a figure was standing and watching the ball.

Sooyoung?

After glancing around, she went to the staircase and went to the person. As she guessed, it was Sooyoung, leaning on the balcony railing.

“Is Princess Jiwoo here or am I too presumptuous?”

Sooyoung chuckled, “She’s here, but you’re presumptuous.”

“Oh? Who are you looking at now?” Siyeon asked, leaning next to her on the railing.

“Since your little slip during our checker game, I’ve been scouring this crowd. I haven’t been able to find Princess Bora, which is strange. I remember seeing her wearing the most luxurious blue dress in the entire hall. I’ve had no luck in finding her yet.”

Siyeon squinted her eyes and leaned more forward, trying to find her. She was following Sooyoung’s description, but she couldn’t find her either. She found Duke Younghyun talking in a large circle of men. She found Bora’s friends, attempting to see if she was able to finally talk to them, but they were dancing with their significant others.

She saw everyone, but Bora.

That was it! She had to be somewhere else away from the ball, finally able to take a well-needed break from everything.

“I have a feeling you may know where she is,” Sooyoung said. “Or am I too presumptuous?”

Siyeon pushed off the railing. “I have an idea.”

She remembered the staircase Bora took during her birthday ball, once again acting as if she was heading somewhere to retrieve something. Once she was alone in the hallway towards the balcony, she sped up, lifting the front of her dress towards the balcony.

“Bor—” She called, but there was someone else standing there. She straightened her stance. “Evening, Princess Handong.”

“Good evening. Who were you looking for?”

She had a sharp glare that made her want to tell the truth. Her posture still held her elegance, more so in her light blue gown, yet her eyes seemed to already know _something_ and she was only waiting for it to be spoken.

“Uh… Princess Bora.”

“May I ask you something, Siyeon?”

“Yes.”

“You speak to me with truth, yes? With the truth and nothing but the truth?”

“Yes…”

Siyeon’s heart stopped speeding up and beating harder.

She approached close, slightly too close for comfort. “Tell me, what is the true nature of your relationship with Bora?”

She stood still, clenching her jaw as Princess Handong looked to her with expecting eyes.

“I—I told you the truth, Princess Handong… She’s my friend and I care about her… I want to see her and help her…”

“That’s your final answer?”

“Yes.”

She stared at her in silence for what felt like hours, then nodded. “Apologies, I regret to inform you that I also have no clue of her whereabouts.”

“Okay… Thank you, your highness.”

“Return to your duties, Siyeon.”

“Y—Yes, your highness.”

Siyeon spun on her heel and returned towards the ball, only to take a different turn, heading elsewhere to continue her search. Princess Handong was rather intimidating when she wanted to be. She nearly did tell her the truth, but she wasn’t as open-minded as her younger sister. She could’ve easily called guards and have her escorted off the castle grounds.

Siyeon couldn’t think where else she’d be. There were so many rooms she could be in! Anywhere else but the ball was more than preferable.

Her determination filled her veins and she kept searching. Peering into every room to find her but nothing. She glanced around her with wide eyes, afraid that someone will walk through and ask what she was doing. (Or worse, Princess Handong was following her and will passively interrogate her again).

It was more obvious than she originally thought.

Upon approaching her chambers, the door was left slightly open. Closer and closer, quiet weeping could be heard.

Siyeon clenched her jaw and gently pushed the door open, met with the tidy room, both sides mirroring each other with beds, vanities, desks, and bookshelves. She closed and locked it, quiet enough to not disturb.

She wasn’t aware that their chambers had a balcony of its own. The doors were wide open, the light breeze from the night swaying the curtains.

And there she was.

Bora, in the most luxurious blue dress, was sobbing onto the concrete railing, miserable on what was supposed to be the happiest day of the year.

The village girl watched, frozen behind her. She hadn’t seen her in so long and to see her again, to see her in this state…

“Bora…” Siyeon failed to keep her voice steady, but held her own tears.

The princess jolted and spun around, out of breath, her cheeks soaked in her tears and eyes red and puffy. She met her halfway, grabbing her as tightly as she could. The princess embraced her torso, hyperventilating and sniffling.

“I’m here, Bora, I’m here…” Siyeon said in a hushed voice, wrapping her arms around her and allowing her to hide her face against her neck. She felt a lump grow in her throat, but she had to stay strong for Bora.

“I don’t know how much more I can take…” Bora’s voice was hoarse from her sobbing. The taller girl couldn’t imagine how long she was here for. “I’ve listened to my mother and Younghyun! I went through that punishment all over again! I gave him all I could give! Whenever I thought I had given my all, there was more! There was somehow always more!”

“It’ll be okay—”

“Will it?!” Bora exclaimed, her cry sharply cutting through the air, pulling back to look at her in the dim moonlight. She was broken down, unable to stop sobbing and couldn’t take one full breath. Silence’s company was heavy this time, reminding them that their relationship was a secret. A suffocating secret.

Siyeon froze, mouth falling open as her eyes widened and shakily looking back. She loosened her hold on the smaller girl. She had seen her frustrated before, but not to this extent. She then took a step back, allowing Bora to have some space.

Bora grabbed Siyeon’s hands, gripping them so hard she could feel her pulse. Her voice broke, “I—I’m sorry…”

Siyeon sighed. “I wish I could do something, Bora… Watching you like this hurts! I… I don’t know what to do! Look at all of this, Bora! This is your life! You’ll be the queen and ruling Sinnomia! As much as I love you, I don’t want to put you in danger of your family and become their shame! Bora, I wished every night, believe me, that this was all different, that we were happy together… Or, on my saddest nights, that we never met… But we must… We must accept this reality…”

Bora’s face softened, eyes gazing down at the floor, finally able to take a shaky full breath. As much as Siyeon wanted to live that wonderful dream, she had to be real. She must, _they_ must, live with the cards they’d been dealt.

And these cards only led back to Bora and the life she was born into.

“My apologies for yelling at you…”

Without another word, Siyeon gently pulled her in and held her, pushing their bodies close. They pressed their foreheads together, Siyeon feeling Bora place her cold hands to her cheeks, cradling her face to keep her there. Not that Siyeon would ever pull away.

They closed their eyes, ignoring everything around them and to simply be.

To simply exist.

“I love you…”

“I love you too…”

* * *

Siyeon left her chambers first after some time, neither wanted to count the seconds. Bora said she’ll have to fix her makeup before she could return.

She sighed as she walked through the hallway. She chuckled to herself, under her breath and drying her cheek with the back of her hand. She really wanted to make Bora happy with her and be in love. She could burst into tears right now at only the thought of what will truly happen. Sooyoung was still leaning on the railing and Siyeon stood next to her, copying her stance.

“Did you find her?”

“Yeah…”

Sooyoung turned her head, looking at her with concern, “Did something happen?”

The village girl was so distraught, she couldn’t help telling the truth. “I am in love with Bora… And she’s in love with me…”

Sooyoung’s brows twitched and scrunched together, her eyes widening in shock. Every single word carried pain. A pain that couldn’t be described and could only be heard in how weak and hush her voice was.

“We’ve been in love for years, truthfully. We have a long history together. And there’s nothing we can do…”

“I’m so sorry, Siyeon…”

“It’s fine.” Siyeon gave her a wavering smile, tears building in her eyes. “We can’t have everything…”

Sooyoung placed her hand on her back, rubbing comforting circles. “Do you want to head back to our chambers? I’ll tell everyone you felt sick again.”

“Thank you, but I’ll be okay.”

“Are you certain?”

Her heart screamed ‘no’, but she nodded her head, leaving downstairs together.

The supper portion of the Christmas Ball was beginning, with the Ryus and Kangs in the middle of the room. It was lively and high-spirited to everyone else, but it wasn’t enough to affect Siyeon. She was attentive to Bora, looking at her from time to time as she served her assigned families. She could feel the crew’s eyes on her as well. She did tell them that she wasn’t feeling well again, but declined their offers to take her to their chambers.

When she was done with serving, however, she had to sit down outside for a moment for cold air to cool the anxious heat overwhelming her.

Why did the dark sky still lack its stars…?

“Siyeon?”

She looked to her left and Yubin and Binnie were walking together, sharing alone time together.

“Oh, hey, you two. Why aren’t you inside?”

“Now is the best time for us to be out and spend time together without anyone noticing. We’ll be back inside if we see something happening in there.”

“Are you alright?” Binnie asked.

“Yeah, I just needed some air. It’s incredibly hot inside.”

“Would you like company?”

Siyeon thought about it. She didn’t want to be alone, yet she didn’t want to fall apart right in front of them during what was supposed to be a lively celebration. Seeing the two physically together made her happy yet there was slight envy, imagining her and Bora in their places. It was a little strange for her brain to do, but all she could ever do now was imagine a life that wasn’t this. As long as she and Bora were happy in it.

“No, you guys enjoy your night. I’ll be fine.”

Yubin narrowed her eyes before nodding and grabbing Binnie’s hand, “We’ll see you later then, Siyeon.”

Siyeon nodded back and waited until they were out of sight, heading back inside. As soon as she walked in and assumed her assigned spot against the wall, on the side and in perfect view of the Ryus and Kangs, Duke Younghyun stood up from his seat, pinging his fork against his wine glass.

The village girl clenched her jaw as the Great Hall fell silent.

“Thank you all for joining us on this wondrous occasion! I’m pleased to see all of our families, close companions, comrades, associates and my chums I unfortunately call my brothers.”

A group of men sitting at the same table began to ridicule him, making the hall fill with echoed laughter.

“I found now is the best time to finally make my big announcement to this incredibly beautiful and amazing woman sitting next to me, Princess Ryu Bora.”

Siyeon closed her eyes for a moment, gathering her composure. She opened them and she watched Duke Younghyun grab Bora’s hand, making her stand up.

“Bora, I am my happiest with you. Making you smile brightens my day and your laugh makes my heart sing. I have loved you for many years and, truthfully, I’d never thought I’d be here in this place with you! However, here we are, and I’ll love you and make you smile and laugh for the rest of time…” He then reached into his pocket and withdrew a small black box. “Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

Siyeon silently sighed as a moment of tense silence fell in the hall. She felt numb, looking down at the floor, avoiding anyone’s eyes (especially Sooyoung a few feet away from her), waiting for the room to erupt in applause.

And it did.

Duke Younghyun and Bora were sharing a kiss as she looked up again, shattering her heart into a million pieces.

There were other people in the hall already crying, so without holding back, she let her tears streamed out of her eyes and down her cheeks. She forced her lips to curve into a smile and, with trembling hands, began to clap with everyone else.

It didn’t help that Bora was faced in Siyeon’s direction as she hugged him. She hid her face against his shoulder, sobbing onto him with her flooding tears, desperately wanting her tears to be of joy. That shining, diamond ring adorning her left ring finger was staring back at her.

The last thing Siyeon will allow herself to imagine was being in his place instead. The tears were happy instead, to declare their love as so strong and plentiful, that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.

This…

This was meant to happen.

* * *

On the morning after the Christmas Ball and Duke Younghyun’s grand proposal, Siyeon was awake in the dark.

In fact, she couldn’t sleep at all.

She left her chambers and exited into the hallway, though she didn’t know where to go. No one was going to be around, and from the looks of it there were no guards as well. It was her opportunity to spend time with herself and plan out what she’ll be doing today.

Which was: pack up everything, tell Queen Sera she’ll be resigning her position, say goodbye to her sisters and the crew, then leave.

If she’ll be able to say goodbye to Bora, she doesn't know.

She walked around until she was in one of the drawing rooms. To her surprise, the Ryus’ royal cat, Nannan, was lounging on the couch, visible from the outside light, turning his head to her.

“Uh,” Siyeon kept walking, sitting a seat away from him, “good morning?”

She sat down, sighing heavily as she sank into the slightly stiff cushions. “This is a terrible situation…”

She continued after another deep breath, “But this is what destiny intended! Bora will become queen and I’ll return to the village! Perhaps at some point both of us will fall out of love and we’ll forget about each other! Become a distant memory we can’t recall much about!”

She turned her head and saw the gray cat staring blankly at her.

She must be losing her mind; She was opening her heart to a cat.

“I know that won’t happen… How could I forget about her? I went for, what, six years, and I still remembered her birthday. Or, how I remembered her favorite color is red! Or, how I remembered that her favorite subject in school was geography! Or, her favorite sport was archery! Or, how she loved to dance with her friends and watch horse races with them! Or, how she disliked cheese so much I stole a slice from a restaurant and I chased her with it! Or, how she loved plays about brave heroes! Or, how she would yell at the top of her lungs suddenly and without warning! Or, how she sounded when she laughed at my pathetic jokes! Or, how she felt in my arms when we hugged! Or… How her lips felt against mine…” She sighed, slumping in her seat. “I’m a lovesick fool…”

“Yes, you are.”

Siyeon shot her eyes up and noticed two things: one, Nannan was still in the same spot, and two, Yubin and Gahyeon were standing at the door, both still dressed in their nightgowns, with Yubin with her arms crossed and Gahyeon jutting her bottom lip with a sad look in her eyes.

“I had a suspicion with you and Princess Bora, but,” Yubin sat down on Siyeon’s left, carrying Nannan and placing him on the ground, “I didn’t think it’d be that.”

“You’re in love with Princess Bora…?” Gahyeon still looked sad as she sat down.

“What are you guys doing out here?”

“We could ask you the same thing,” Yubin replied. “I felt something was wrong and I snuck out to tell Gahyeon in her chambers. You’ve always had trouble sleeping, so I knew you’d be somewhere around here.”

“I’m sorry, you two…”

“For what? You didn’t do anything.”

“I lied to both of you! I was going to tell you today! And then… I’m planning on returning to the village.”

Her sisters leaned in and gave her warm embraces, leaning their heads on her shoulders.

“Tell us everything…”

Siyeon took a deep breath and it all came out at once. How she met Bora met, how they used to meet every day in the evening, how they met at night for their birthdays, how they talked about anything and everything without growing tired of each other, and that night of Siyeon’s birthday, when they confessed to each other.

“And then she disappeared for quite some time,” Siyeon chuckled at the memory. “When Gahyeon asked about going into the next town and she wanted to see ‘The Royal Ryu Family of our Kingdom of Sinnomia’. I didn’t care for all of the hierarchy and the like, so I had no idea that Bora was a princess… I was really sad for a long time because she disappeared and then never told me this was her life. Coming here was difficult for me, but I still did… I wanted to treat her as the princess she was… When she was caught sneaking back in, she was out to see me on my birthday and spent the day with me in the village.”

“How was she there?!” Gahyeon lifted her head and gaped at her, eyes about to pop out of her head.

“It was the best day of her entire life—she told me exactly that. She did great there; She was the happiest she’d ever been in years! We admitted that we’re deeply in love with each other all this time and… all of this happened. To make it easier on both of us, I want to leave this castle. So, that’s that…”

“Reminds me of all those books about star-crossed lovers in Miss Minji’s library. Passionately in love, miserable without each other, and time together is brief because of outside forces…”

“Not helping, Gahyeon…”

“Sorry.”

“So, that’s it?” Yubin lifted her head. “You’ll let your first love go and you’ll separate forever?”

“That’s exactly it. We weren’t meant to be together. I know that and she knows that.”

She looked between her two sisters, who looked sorry for her, furrows in their brows and worry in their eyes.

“I’ll be okay, you two. I need to be somewhere that won’t make me or anyone else sad.”

“If that’s what you think is best, Siyeon…” Yubin embraced her again and Gahyeon followed. “I’m sorry it turned out this way…”

“It’ll be okay.”

* * *

It was a difficult morning.

Siyeon returned her chambers, got ready before everyone else and slung her satchel across her body, which was still filled with Bora’s borrowed clothing and money, and stopped the crew for a moment. She didn’t want to break the news so soon to them, but she wanted to get home before it’ll become too difficult to. After saying she was feeling too homesick and that she’ll leave, they all gasped and gathered her into a big group hug, now all sobbing and saying they already missed her, some of them even begging her to stay for the day.

As for Sooyoung, she gave her a knowing, sympathetic look and a warm embrace, wishing her to heal. Siyeon knew she was implying more than one thing.

She even decided to see Binnie in the teachers' room to inform her. Despite not really knowing her, Binnie still pulled her into a hug, wishing her well in her return to the village.

She felt her heartbeat was uneven and her breath was shaky as she found Queen Sera on her way to the dining room. She looked rather sad as Siyeon told her about her leave and saying she didn’t have to pay her for the week. Queen Sera thanked her for her diligent work and to visit the tax collector for her cut if she ever changes her mind before leaving. She offered her coachman to take her to her village, but Siyeon decided she’d rather walk instead.

With timing, she passed Princess Handong and Yoohyeon after speaking to her, having left their chambers.

“Good morning, your highnesses.”

“Good morning, Siyeon,” Handong greeted. “Going somewhere?”

“Yeah, I… I resigned and I’m leaving the castle now. I’m saying goodbye to everyone before I go.”

“I see…”

The princesses shared a look together and, wordlessly, Yoohyeon nodded.

“Then,” Princess Handong straightened her back, interlocking her hands in front of her, “I must apologize to you.”

“For what?”

“Perhaps I was… No, I was… I was being too intimidating before. I deeply apologize, I have trouble with coming off as a kind person… We know that it’s you, Siyeon.”

Yoohyeon then said, “We know you’re the girl Bora has been in love with.”

Siyeon’s eyes widened. “Did she tell you?”

“No. I’m simply too observant for my own good.” Princess Handong bowed her head. “Apologies, but I have come across you two together whenever you spoke in private. I saw how Bora looks at you. She doesn’t look at Younghyun like how she looks at you.”

“And with her telling me that and Bora telling me about the girl,” the taller princess added, “everything tied itself together.”

“It’s evident that you brought her the brightest and largest amount of happiness she ever felt.”

“Does that mean you’re okay with it?” Siyeon looked at Princess Handong.

“Truthfully… it’s still an odd concept to me. Perhaps that was why I came off so mean-spirited; I couldn’t cease my distaste. But since you brought Bora the greatest love she could ever have and experience… I’ll learn to be alright with it.”

“Thank you. That’s… very kind and admirable of you.”

“And I’m assuming you’re leaving because of last night.”

Siyeon nodded silently.

“Understandable. Then, thank you for your time here.”

“I’m going to miss you here very much!” Without warning, Yoohyeon grabbed her into an embrace, but Siyeon returned it quickly.

“I’ll miss you too, Yoohyeon. It was a pleasure meeting you and speaking to you in the late hours.”

“I’m going to miss those too!” Yoohyeon laughed with a nod, pulling away. “If you’re not in too much of a rush, Bora’s still in our chambers.”

Siyeon sighed, still not sure if seeing her was a good idea.

“Go on,” Princess Handong waved her hand, as if she was sweeping her away, “you should see her… She’d hate to learn you’ve disappeared without speaking to her.”

Siyeon, with a heavy heart, nodded and went on her way. She was right. It would be painful to see her, but that was preferable over not seeing her at all.

She gripped her satchel strap as she went down the corridor to the princesses’ chambers, heart pounding in her chest, not prepared to see her in such a weak state. She found the door and knocked on it, waiting patiently.

“You may enter!” Bora announced from the other side.

Siyeon took a deep breath and turned the doorknob, welcoming herself in. The chamber now had a messy side and one that was slightly tidier, but not all that better. Not surprising, as they didn’t have to do it themselves.

“Siyeon…?” She turned around, prepared for her day in a pretty white dress. “What are you…”

She didn’t have time to think this all through, so she had to simply say it. “I’m… leaving…”

Siyeon walked up to her, allowing her to embrace her.

It was quiet for a moment, letting Bora register her words until she heard sniffling.

“Don’t go…” She pleaded, broken and longing.

“Bora, we both know it wouldn’t be good for me to stay here…”

No response, the shorter girl held her closer, her eyes closed and taking in as much of her warmth and scent as she could.

“And,” Siyeon had to back away, flipping her satchel open, “I brought you gifts. I was supposed to give it to you much earlier, but then… everything happened.”

She took out the clothes and money, holding them out to her. With shaky hands, Bora grabbed them, sniffling and a wavering smile growing on her face.

“Your earnings from the farm are also in there. You worked hard, so it should be for you. Oh,” Siyeon dug through her satchel beneath some of her savings and found a folded piece of paper inside, placing it on top of the pile, “and a couple weeks ago, I was up late organizing all the new deliveries, since I couldn’t sleep. I remembered my mama only taught you those recipes by showing you. If you ever wanted to make them yourself, it’ll be difficult to find the right measurements on your own again. When I finished, I went to one of the studies and I wrote the recipes down for you as best as I could. Please, when you have them memorized and perfected them, burn this paper. My mama will smack me if she ever finds out it was written down anywhere.”

Bora laughed aloud, as she placed her items down and unfolded the paper. “That gentle woman?”

“She has never hit me before, but these recipes are serious!”

Bora laughed again, then was reading the recipe in Siyeon’s writing.

Siyeon smiled at her, admiring her as she was reading. She was relieved to liven the mood, at least for a moment. “You deserve to keep all of this. To remind you of the best day of our lives.”

“Thank you,” Bora set the paper down on top of her other gifts, then smiled up at her, “I’ll keep it all safe. Except for the recipes, that’ll go into my fireplace once I’ve mastered them.”

They shared another embrace, with Bora hiding her face in the crook of Siyeon’s neck. The taller girl ran her hand through her dark hair, careful of tangles, pressing her cheek against her head and taking in that jasmine scent the castle was surrounded in. Not overpowering on her—in fact, it was perfect.

When they pulled away, their faces were so close, the tips of their noses had brushed against each other and they felt each other’s breath.

“One more… please?” Bora asked, low and weak.

Siyeon quickly glanced at the door and turned back.

She nearly allowed her, the answer 'yes' lingering in her mouth before she noticed Bora's hand on her shoulder. In the corner of her eye, that big engagement ring was there, a bright reminder of their sealed fate.

"I… I must decline that, Bora…"

Bora's brows twitched, her eyes began to be glassy, and her bottom lip quivered. She nodded, keeping her voice steady, “May I walk you out instead…?”

It was only the correct thing to do. They needed all the time left…

“I’d like that very much, Bora.”

They walked side-by-side, glancing at each other as they enjoyed their peaceful moment. At least, enjoying it as much as they could. Siyeon could tell in the way that she was looking at her that she truly wanted to stay, despite how disheartening it’d be.

As soon as they left the giant doors of the castle, letting them close and went down the long stairs, they shared one final embrace, sharing the tightest one they could ever give each other.

Bora pulled away, cupping Siyeon’s cheeks, looking deep into her eyes, her own were glossy with overflowing tears and her lips were quivering to speak.

Siyeon gripped Bora’s waist a little tighter, feeling the pull to her that she always felt.

“I hope to see you again someday…” Bora then smiled, chuckling with still some choked back sobs, “wolf pup.”

Siyeon returned the smile. “Perhaps we will in the future, Sua.”

“I love you, Siyeon.”

“I love you too, Bora.”

Siyeon grabbed her hand and interlocked their fingers together. Siyeon will never forget how they were a perfect fit.

It was torture that they were.

Siyeon took a deep inhale and took a step back, loosening her hold on her, but Bora’s stayed the same firm grip. She took another step and Bora loosened her hold, their fingers slipping out and they were apart.

Then, she turned around, walking away. She planned on turning around one last time, but she couldn’t do it. She continued on her walk, keeping her head high and looking forward to seeing her parents again and telling them she was there to stay. She could still feel Bora watching her until she was too far to see.

She sniffled, lifting her hand to her arm, pinching at her skin.

Her eyes wanted to look again. So badly.

Memories of their happiness together flooded her mind. Seeing Bora’s smile, hearing her laugh, feeling her hand around hers…

She missed her already…

She kept walking.

She kept walking and never looked back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry yall :ccc last chapter epilogue is next friday/saturday


	15. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall im REALLY sorry about not posting on time!! i decided to rewrite this entire chapter but then my assignments for school were more difficult than i thought AND THEN ive been feeling sick for the past three days so its been hard to write 😔 sorry again  
> enjoy!

**Age — Twenty-five**

When Siyeon returned home, her mother and father were happy to see her and more so when she said she’ll be staying there. She decided that, as lovely as her father was to gift her her own place, she wanted to stay with them in their own home. She felt more comfortable that way. It was the normal routine she always knew—bakery with her mother, delivery with her father, and, when she had time, she spent it with Miss Minji and helping her with the village children or with the bookshelves.

Siyeon was never one to pay attention to the newspaper, but since it was delivered to Miss Minji’s library every day, she decided to take one and read up on everything happening in Bora’s life.

Two months after the Christmas Ball, Bora got married to Duke Younghyun in an extravagant ceremony in front of the population of Sinnomia and had inherited the throne on that same day.

Bora looked beautiful in her white wedding dress, with wonderful frills and crystals, along with her jeweled diadem, symbolizing that she had finally inherited and was the official queen of the Kingdom of Sinnomia.

It was heart-wrenching to see a picture of them on the paper, knowing how Bora was truly feeling.

During this time, Siyeon considered going back instead… She missed her dearly, every single day. After all, she only assumed everything would be better without them being together.

What would’ve happened if she decided to stay for a time? If she had decided to give herself another half a year in the castle… would it truly be worse? Would it become more painful, or would it be the opposite? Despite everything, Siyeon still wanted to be Bora’s safe place. To be someone she could cry on and give her all the comfort she could give.

“How are you feeling, Siyeon?” Miss Minji asked.

Siyeon spent time with her more often, unable to take afternoon or evening naps anymore.

“I’m worried about her…” She had Cherry on her lap, sitting in her library.

“I’m aware. You read the newspaper every day, don’t you?”

“Yeah… She’s the queen now already… I thought they would take some time to be engaged, but… they must’ve planned it all out…” Siyeon felt her throat begin to tighten, “I shouldn’t have asked her to stay with me…”

“Why would you say such a thing, my dear?” Miss Minji sat next to her, comforting her by rubbing her hand on her back.

“I feel as if… Everything was rushed due to her getting caught… If I hadn’t asked her, she would’ve been given more time…”

“You didn’t do anything wrong or bad. You wanted to give her a day of her life she could live freely and not worry about her royal duties. And you did! You made her smile and laugh and you made her the happiest she could be! I have a hunch that she doesn’t regret it… you shouldn’t regret it either, Siyeon.”

Siyeon couldn’t help the feeling. She was in that stage of ‘what ifs’ and imagining what could’ve happened hadn’t she asked her to do something so risky…

She could still see her happy face in her mind… When she grabbed a chicken egg from the nest, when she saw her fall in the pig trough, when she helped the children during reading time, when she helped her mother cook…

Siyeon wanted it back.

“I don’t regret it; I’d do it again if I could…”

“I know you would… Like I said before, you brought her happiness. Do not ever regret that.”

* * *

**Age — Twenty-eight**

Siyeon assumed Bora must’ve either forgotten or hadn’t been able to make life more suitable in the village.

She didn’t expect much. She thought Bora could be able do something minimal, not take them out of poverty completely. She didn’t know how these kinds of decisions were made, so, with some positivity, she assumed that she was having conferences discussing the village and what changes she wanted to make.

When Gahyeon and Yubin visited her for Gahyeon’s twenty-fourth birthday, she was given disappointing news about that.

“Bora speaks to us whenever she feels she has any proposals or changes she’d like to make to Sinnomia,” Yubin said as they sat on the floor around their chabudai table, sitting together in the oil lantern lit room. The lack of title when referring to Bora was nice to hear; That meant they were informal together.

“Is that okay to do?”

“No, but everything she wants to do regards us. Specifically, regards you. She’s concerned with how long it’s taking to make changes here.”

“Mostly because…” Gahyeon had a slight pout. “King Younghyun always disagrees with making those changes.”

Yubin nodded, pressing her lips together. She said after sighing, “She’s been an astounding queen and has brought great things to the castle and the rest of the towns. It’s only the village that’s been causing difficulties.”

“She told us that was the first thing she proposed after she got married! She wants him to care and make a change! I’m not knowledgeable on all the conference and counsel aspect of their duties, but, so far, changes can’t be made until it’s all equally agreed!”

“King Younghyun sure is… something… now.”

“He’s a pain in the ass!” Gahyeon exclaimed, shocking her older sisters. She sheepishly grinned. “I’ve been talking to Seunghee recently.”

“Siyeon, he is not a nice man.”

“He’s so rude!” Their baby sister then acted like she vomited. “Especially to us! Bora tells him to not act like that every day, but he’s obnoxious!”

“And evidently, as king and queen, they must have children for their next heir and more, but… Bora said she hadn’t been able to conceive yet. And King Younghyun hasn’t been so kind about it.”

Siyeon felt her heart break. It was too much to think about. From the newspapers, all she saw were their accomplishments. It was true that Bora was a wonderful queen, having done many reconstructions and renovating homes and businesses, along with adding water systems and fixing roads in the towns. Every accomplishment that added good to Sinnomia was Bora’s doing. To hear what was happening within the castle…

“You’re giving her comfort, right?” She asked them both.

“Of course. In fact, Bora developed friendships with the staff, especially the kitchen crew. She helps in the kitchen to prepare the bread and she made us the meatloaf yesterday night.”

“Also, you didn’t tell us you wrote mama’s recipes down and gave them to her!” Gahyeon gave her a smack on her arm. “Mama would be upset!”

“I wanted Bora to have them! You two know she loves the bread and she loved the meatloaf, so I wanted her to know how to make them herself. I told her to burn it once she memorized it. From the sounds of it, she hasn't yet…"

"It was only recently that I saw it. She left it on her nightstand; Perhaps she reads it once in a while."

“It goes without saying that she misses you very much.”

Siyeon nodded, pinching at the skin on the back of her hand. “Me too… I still… feel as if I made the wrong decision. I should’ve stayed—”

“Siyeon, that’s very admirable, but… personally, I wouldn’t want to know how difficult it’d be seeing the love of my life be married to someone else. Even if that someone else isn’t as great as we thought he was.”

“Don’t feel guilty about what you chose.” Gahyeon placed her hand on her older sister’s back. “It’s all going to be okay. It’ll work out.”

“I hope so…”

“My daughters!” Their father bursted into their little home, “You’re not going to believe this!”

“What happened, papa?” Gahyeon asked.

“One of those royal messenger men came around outside and announced that there’ll be changes soon!”

“We were speaking of that now! What will they do?”

“Informing us about a river will be added nearby! It’ll take some time, but how exciting is that?!”

“I think we know who to thank for that!” Siyeon said with a smile, although weak.

“What great news to hear after such a tiring day!” He took his pillow and sat down with them, grunting as he did so. “Your mama should be here any second with the meatloaf ingredients!”

“Good,” Gahyeon sighed in relief. “I’m starving!”

And as their father said, their mother walked through the door, quickly greeting them and carrying her basket of ingredients, beginning her cooking as soon as she stepped in.

Siyeon smiled at each one of her family members, laughing along at whatever her father was talking about, grinning bigger from seeing their smiles and hearing their laughter, enveloped in warmth by their presence and the smell of homemade food. She could never feel lonely with them around.

It wasn’t long before the meatloaf was finished and it was presented in the middle of the table, smelling delicious as always and cooked to perfection.

Gahyeon listened to her family well as they spoke one by one, giving her their birthday wishes, until there was gentle knocking on their door.

Everyone was shocked to hear something like that in the evening, when the village was quiet and in their homes.

Everyone except Yubin.

“Are you expecting anyone, you three?” Their mother asked.

“I am,” Yubin replied, standing up from her pillow. “She’s quite punctual.”

When she opened the door, to Siyeon’s shock, Binnie was there, bundled warmly and holding what looked like a small suitcase with her. Grinning brightly and waving her hand, she greeted, “Hello, I’m sorry for arriving late.”

“Nonsense.” Yubin had a smile from ear to ear, showing all of her teeth and its joy reaching her eyes. “Mama, papa, this is Binnie.”

“Welcome to the village!” Their father greeted, loud as ever. “A close friend you made at the castle, I presume?”

The couple looked at each other, Binnie becoming shy and Yubin simply smiling at her.

“You see… I must confess something to you both.”

Siyeon and Gahyeon glanced at each other, eyes wide and knowing well what was about to happen. Siyeon was nervous for her. Their parents were incredibly kind, yes, but she never truly knew what they thought about relationships such as theirs. She was on alert, anxiously watching her parents as they looked up at their daughter and her significant other.

“You see, Binnie and I are close, but,” Yubin looked towards them as Binnie latched onto her arm, “we’re closer than that. I’d say we’re much like you two, mama and papa.”

Silence.

Silence overtook the home, leaving Siyeon with a dry mouth and a heart pounding so hard, it may break free from her ribcage. She couldn’t bear to look at the sudden seriousness on her parents’ faces, specifically her father. His brows had a slight furrow, along with his eyes squinting. To see him so serious… something horrific had to happen for him to become this way.

“Are you saying…” He said, slowly, “you two eloped?”

“Uh… No, we’re thinking about it, truthfully—”

“Oh, thank goodness!” He erupted, shooting up from the floor with a relieved laugh. Her mother was sighing in relief, her hand over her heart. “I thought you two married without a ceremony! We can’t miss such a beautiful milestone! It’s nice to meet you, Binnie! Welcome to our family!”

He engulfed her in his bear hug, lifting her off the ground. She laughed and dropped her suitcase, her words incomprehensible from her face in his chest. Must be something along the lines of ‘it’s nice to meet you too’.

"Wait," Siyeon had to ask, "you're fine with it?"

"We only want what makes you all happy!" Their father said as he set Binnie down, then ruffled Yubin's hair. "Look at this face! I've never seen her with this face!"

Gahyeon gave her a punch to her shin, only getting a laugh in response, “You didn’t tell us that you want to marry her!"

Siyeon could cry at the words he spoke and the laughter that filled the room. Peacefulness fell over her, knowing her little sister was going to be alright and be herself.

Some weight was finally lifted off her shoulders.

* * *

It did take time for the thin river to be fully built and functional. Built closer to the next town and connecting it to the nearest river, a watermill was added next to the farm. It was such a long way, but it not only benefited the village, it also helped the crops heading to the farm as well.

Siyeon read about it in the newspaper—it was thanks to King Younghyun that it happened. Though, Siyeon knew it wasn't truly his decision. It was written simply as adding water to the farm, not the village.

The village was a happier place, satisfied with clean water always flowing nearby. Siyeon went on with her life, thriving and happy to not walk to that well anymore.

But good things don’t last long.

Siyeon knew that, one day, her parents were going to pass away. They were growing old and that was a normal part of life.

She wasn’t prepared to wake up one morning and find both her mother and father had passed away, together and in their sleep. She was in shock, her body had automatically hurried to Miss Minji to tell her.

She doesn’t remember much afterwards.

When someone from the village passes away, it was one of those times where everyone there would come together, mourn altogether and help with burial. All Siyeon could do was sob on Miss Minji’s shoulder, embracing her tight as her parents were being tended and then placed in a horse-drawn hearse. It was such a long journey to the nearest church, to use all her currency to give them proper spaces and graves.

She didn’t know how to tell her sisters all the way in the castle, other than to go to the castle herself.

“Are you certain you want to go alone?” Miss Minji had been drying her tears all day, hands cradling the younger woman’s cheeks to catch more of them.

She nodded. “Yes. It doesn’t matter who I run into, I could only hope they’ll tell them in the castle…”

“Okay… You’re welcome to come to my home when you return.”

“Thank you, Miss Minji…”

“No problem at all.”

Siyeon profusely sobbed for most of the travel there, internally hollow with a giant hole in her heart, wishing for it to be a horrible nightmare. She wanted to wake up and see her parents still there, with her mother heading to their bakery stall and her father outside, prepared with Captain and the wagon for another day of delivery.

No matter how many times she pinched at her skin, no longer giving her comfort, it was real.

It was evening by the time she arrived at the castle. Nothing had changed about it; It was exactly as it was when she left it. She stopped Captain on the side and approached the two stern guards in the front of the moat bridge’s gate.

“Excuse me…”

“State your reasoning for your presence today.” Flat and monotonous.

“I—I have some news for two of the workers within the castle… May I see them inside?”

The two guards looked at each other, then the same one said, “Please leave the premises.”

Great, it was her first visit all over again…

“Please, this is highly important—”

“Asking you again, ma’am—Please leave the premises.”

“This is important and concerns them! Another second can’t pass without them—”

“Leave the premises!” The guard raised his voice, pointing his rifle at her and sticking the bayonet close to her chest. "Now!"

Siyeon stood her ground, clenching her jaw and balling her fists so tight, she was trembling with anger. The sharp tip was pushed into her chest, not enough to injure her, but as another warning. All she wanted was to be let in.

“Halt, guard!”

Siyeon spun around and Handong was exiting the white carriage, along with Yoohyeon exiting the other side.

He stopped, standing stiffly straight again.

“Siyeon?” Yoohyeon called out, hurrying to her. “What brought you here? Has something happened?”

“I need to see Yubin and Gahyeon… O—Our parents passed this morning and I need to tell them… Can you tell them…?”

“Yes, yes, of course!” Despite not seeing each other in years, without hesitation, she pulled her into a tight embrace.

Then, she felt another hand on her back, Handong’s, comforting her. “Our condolences, Siyeon… Wait here, I’ll get them for you. Stay with Siyeon,” Handong said, then she hurried to their carriage to go onto the premises.

“I’m glad you two showed…” Siyeon sniffled, using her sleeve to dry her eyes.

“Me as well… The guards never shot anyone before and I refuse to see it happen to my friend.”

“I’m sorry, I need to have them home for some time…”

“Of course, they can be home for as long as you all need.”

Siyeon pulled back, needing to speak about something else for a moment, “Um… What brings you here? I was told you don’t live here.”

“Handong and I live on our other estates; We're Bora’s Duchesses. Our mother is resting well, currently vacationing. We’re here because Bora requested us to be. She and Younghyun are traveling to Seherich Dynasty to discuss an urgent treaty with them.”

The village girl nodded. “She’s made lots of great changes here.”

“I know! She’s doing a lovely job. Younghyun, on the other hand…”

“He’s not a kind man… is he?”

“It… It depends on the day. All of the good changes come from Bora; I hadn’t a clue what changes he’s made or wishes to make. It’s, uh… not going in the way we all thought it was going to go.” Yoohyeon then shook her head, now beginning to sniffle and heard her voice weakly crack. “But… Take time for yourself, Siyeon. All of you. From what Yubin and Gahyeon told me, your parents were very lovely. My condolences, truly…”

“It’s appreciated, Yoohyeon.” Siyeon leaned into her for another embrace, tucking her head into the curve of her neck.

All she could do was take everything one day at a time.

Siyeon didn’t count the days when Yubin and Gahyeon stayed in the village to mourn. What she knew was that they were there for months. All three of them spent it together, along with Miss Minji, going through the grief of their parents. None of them could work to keep themselves distracted, as their jobs always included their mother and father by their sides.

The three sisters had restless nights, unable to fully accept that their parents truly were gone.

“Hey Siyeon…”

It was nighttime. Siyeon couldn’t sleep, so she was sitting outside with her back against Miss Minji’s home, looking up at the dark sky, now scattered with twinkling stars and the full moon was shining bright, glowing and bleeding into the sky to reveal dark blue.

“Oh, Yubin. Is Gahyeon sleeping?”

“Yeah. It took some time, but I tucked her into bed.”

When Yubin sat down, the older girl wrapped her arm around her shoulders. Sighing, she looked throughout the village, where oil lanterns sat outside by everyone’s doors, providing weak light in the pitch black until their lights died out on their own.

“Mama and papa wouldn’t want us to be sad for so long…”

“I know… I was shocked to wake up that morning… Together? What are the chances of that…? I don’t think I could ever walk into our home again…”

“And that’s okay. Return when you’re good and ready,” Yubin said. “I only came to check on you. Come back in soon—you need sleep.”

“I’ll go in with you now before I end up staying.”

Siyeon sighed as she stood up, following Yubin inside, the little house lit by a single oil lantern. Miss Minji and Gahyeon were sharing the small bed while she and Yubin slept on the floor. As Yubin laid down on her side, a folded newspaper on Miss Minji’s table caught the older sister’s eyes.

Miss Minji has been getting newspapers for Siyeon since she always read them, but nowadays, she couldn’t bring herself to look at the front page.

She never kept them if she left them untouched… There must be something special?

Siyeon took it and sat near the oil lantern, squinting her eyes to look at the picture and read the front page headline.

Sleepiness was jolted out of her, her brows raising, her eyes opening wider and her lips parting.

Bora announced she was pregnant today.

She waited until the bump in her stomach was noticeable, standing with King Younghyun, and a shining grin from ear to ear on her face.

The corners of Siyeon’s lips weakly lifted at the sight of her happy face. She could tell that her smile was genuine this time. Knowing that she was having complications for so long, she must be incredibly relieved.

Her first child was set to be born sometime between the end of February and the beginning of March next year.

Siyeon set the paper down on the table again and lied down with Yubin, removing her glasses for slumber.

She knew that Bora was going to be an amazing mother.

* * *

**Age — Thirty-eight**

It took years for Siyeon to truly return and stay in her home. She was able to return to working in the bakery stand the morning Yubin and Gahyeon returned to the castle, but she stayed with Miss Minji every day until she felt healed enough to go home and sleep there. It also took some more time to heal, since Captain passed away a couple years ago from old age.

She kept her eyes on it. She checked it every day to see if someone were to take it as their own. As far as she noticed, the home was left alone, having never seen anyone enter or exit it.

She woke up early, separating from Miss Minji, and went to her bakery stand, now the only job she could do. Usually, because she was up incredibly early, it was quiet, nearly silent as people were still setting up their merchant tables or continuing to sleep. It was her usual using one of the bags of flour, always keeping extra in her stand, and making the batch from muscle memory.

A tiny voice interrupted her, “That smells good!”

Siyeon turned around and saw a little girl standing with a big, sunshine grin behind the table. She had messy black hair with a big green shirt on, bright eyed and she could tell from that one sentence that she had too much energy in her little body and was loud constantly. On top of that, the accent in her voice had a posh but polite tone in it.

Reminded her of someone very much.

“Thank you,” she smiled back, then turned back to the fire oven to check on the loaves inside.

“Can I have one?” She was standing on her toes to see. “Please?”

“You’ll have to tell your parents to buy one, kid.”

“I don’t know where they are!”

Siyeon turned back around to her, taken aback by how frankly she said that. The little girl's facial expression still didn’t change.

“You don’t…?”

“Nope! They took me here and haven’t come back yet! I think they will later today!”

Internally, Siyeon didn’t feel too hopeful about that. She believed that was what happened to Yubin and Gahyeon, having been left in the village due to their parents simply not wanting to care for them anymore.

“Hey, kid, why don’t you head to the yellow building and spend your day there? There’s a nice woman and you can spend time with other kids.”

“Okay!” And she simply took her leave, no questions asked.

Siyeon was now left wondering what the girl was exactly doing in the village. Where was she sleeping? What was she eating? Did she live with anyone at all?

She’ll have to check on her later in the evening.

* * *

At the end of the day, Siyeon decided to specially make a loaf for the energetic little girl, placed it into her wicker basket, and went straight to the library. As she suspected, the little girl was still there, swaying from side to side as she drew something in pencil at her desk. Miss Minji, in the meantime, was sitting at her desk, reading a novel.

Miss Minji had become a quiet woman since Cherry passed away, slowly getting around and her hair beginning to gray over the years, still caring for the young children and the library stayed the same, getting new books every few months. 

“Hey Miss Minji,” she greeted as she walked in, “was she good today?”

She looked shocked as she shut her book, then replied, “She’s slightly disruptive, but nothing I couldn’t handle… Do you know her?”

“She walked up to the bakery stand and asked if she could have some bread. I told her to tell her parents and she said she doesn’t know where they are.” Siyeon then lowered her voice, “I don’t know what to do… I don’t know if they’ll come back…”

The older woman furrowed her brows, her lips parting in devastation at that possibility. “If she went up to you, that must mean she has trust in you. She could stay with us?”

“I… I was planning on returning to my home tonight. I felt it was time to return and make it my own…”

“How about… How about you ask her yourself?”

Siyeon sighed, still unsure, but she went up to the little girl.

“Hey, I made you one,” Siyeon said as she kneeled down, smiling at her as she handed her the loaf.

She gasped, snatching it out of her hands. “Thank you!”

She took as big of a bite as she could, making a small mouth dent, filling her cheeks.

Siyeon smiled bigger at the sight, but it dropped after. “This morning, you mentioned that you don’t know where your parents are?”

She nodded, saying muffled, but understandable words, “I think they’ll be back tomorrow!”

Siyeon wanted to give her hope. The little girl was so hopeful and expecting them…

“While waiting for them, would you like to stay with me? Give you a roof over your head, share supper…”

“Okay!”

She was too trusting, which was not a safe trait to have out in the world by herself.

“Let’s get going before the merchant tables and stalls disappear.”

“Bye, Miss Minji!” The little girl waved goodbye and sped through the library’s door.

Siyeon stood up again, smiling at the bright girl. She’d hate to see that girl become sad or angry at her parents leaving her.

“It’ll be okay, Siyeon.” Miss Minji stood up from her chair, walking around her desk as she picked up the folded newspaper from on top of it to hand it to her. “I’m proud of you for wanting to return to your home.”

“I felt it was time now. Fitting, now that I’m on temporary parenting duty.”

“What if it’s not temporary? What if she’s here to stay?”

She sighed, glancing down at the paper and not seeing Bora or her family on the front page. She hadn’t seen much of her in years, if she recalled correctly.

“For now, I’ll provide her basic needs and we'll go from there.” She then embraced Miss Minji. “Thank you for letting me stay with you.”

“No need, my dear.” She patted her back. “My home is your home.”

After quick goodbyes, the little girl was still outside, hopping around as she ate the loaf of bread, having hardly made a dent into the side of it.

“What’s your name, kid?” Siyeon asked. She was intending to ask her to follow her as she walked past, but she already was when she looked.

“Shuhua!”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Siyeon. What do you want to eat for dinner?”

“I don’t know! I just take fruit!”

“Shuhua, stealing is bad.”

“They’re old; They can’t chase me!”

Siyeon couldn’t stop her sputtered laugh, coughing into her hand after. “From now on, you won’t steal again. I’ll buy and we’ll eat together. Sounds good?”

“Yeah!” Shuhua then hummed, as if she was smelling something delicious. “That place always smells good!”

She pointed at a home that was next to the butcher stand, where the family there commonly cooked meat for supper. They weren’t cooking at the moment, but the stand was still open.

“Oh, we could buy something from there. Perhaps… Would you like to try meatloaf?”

“Okay!”

Siyeon smiled and gave her a small pat on her head. Her mother used the same basket when she bought more amounts of ingredients, getting them quickly before it was becoming too dark to be outside.

Shuhua followed as if she was an obedient dog, chewing on the loaf and hopping around with excitement at the food Siyeon was purchasing.

As they approached Siyeon’s abode, Shuhua shocked her by saying, “Hey, I sleep in there!”

“You do?” Siyeon slowed down slightly, unsure how she felt about that. She was relieved that Shuhua had somewhere to stay, but… a part of her preferred it was left untouched all her years away from it.

“I didn’t want to sleep outside! It was empty!”

“It’s my home, truthfully…" She decided she preferred the brighter, positive aspect of her stay. If they were still alive, her mother and father would’ve taken her in and cared for her. "I’m glad it provided you safety while I was away from it.”

“Why didn’t you sleep in it?”

“I lived here with my mama and papa my entire life,” she sighed as she stopped in front of the door, making Shuhua stop as well. “My parents died some years ago… It was too difficult to stay here.”

“How did they die?”

“I… I don’t know, to tell you the truth. People grow old and, one day, they pass away. I was shocked they died together… I remember my papa saying that he wanted to live for as long as he could to be with her.” The corners of Siyeon’s lips weakly curved up, quickly falling down after. “I feel at peace knowing they’ll always be together, even in heaven… I wanted to return today. Me being with you wouldn’t be much of a bother, would it?”

The little girl vigorously shook her head. “You’re my friend! I don’t tell friends to go away.”

Siyeon simply smiled and, with a trembling hand, she opened the door to let Shuhua in first. Setting the basket down in the kitchen and lighting the oil lanterns with the matches she bought from one of the merchants earlier in the week, she saw that only the bed had been touched. The blanket was untidy from Shuhua sleeping and leaving it in such a state.

“I’ll set up everything and you stay sitting, okay?”

She set up the chabudai table, dusting it off, and put two pillows down, allowing Shuhua to sit. After giving her one of the glasses of milk, Siyeon had to quickly leave to the river to wash all of the unused pans and plates. It was a far distance, but it was worth it to provide a nice meal. When she returned, she began her preparations.

“How old are you, Shuhua?” She asked to fill the silence.

“Seven!”

“Do you go to school?”

“Yeah, at home with my mother.”

“Must be nice to be home often.”

“No! I wanted to play outside, but they always kept me at home! They disliked how I jumped everywhere and yelled.”

“That’s no good; You should play often whenever you had the time.”

“That’s why, when they’re not looking, I sneak out!”

“Shuhua—”

“I played in the forest very much!” She ignored her. “I made a friend there! I sneak out every day in the evening to see her! Except today, she said she had to do something. She didn’t tell me what it was. She’s nice and pretty! She’s always so nice to me and never shushes me!”

Sounded familiar…

“How come in the forest?”

“Nothing can bother us!”

Siyeon’s words left her mouth before she could think, “Reminds me of a friend I had when I was your age.”

“Was she nice and pretty too?”

Siyeon chuckled, “Very. I went into the forest by myself and she pushed me down. It’s history, afterwards… She became my closest friend.”

“Are you still friends with her?”

The dark-haired woman was unsure how to respond. For a moment, she focused on finishing with her food, removing the meatloaf from the oven.

“Yes," she replied. "I still dearly care about her and she still cares about me. However, we’re old now, so we can’t go sneaking about to see each other.”

“Oh! Wait, I shouldn’t have told you about my friend!” Shuhua then shushed her, loudly. “I didn’t say those things!”

Siyeon could only smile and, lowly, laugh at the familiarity of that.

“Alright, then I’ll assume I’m your only friend.” Siyeon plated the meatloaf and set it and their plates on the table. “Shuhua, since you’ll be staying here, you decide how big of a piece you’d like to eat.”

The little girl hummed, playfully rubbing her chin. Then, she laughed, grabbing the plate and taking all of it for herself.

Siyeon chuckled, setting her fork down and grabbing her glass of milk, “That’s fine with me.”

* * *

Hope dwindled more and more as the days passed.

Shuhua was a hopeful child, always saying ‘tomorrow’, but Siyeon was sure that her parents were never going to return to retrieve her. She was fine to care for her, but she wasn’t sure how the little girl would feel about that becoming permanent.

Siyeon wanted to be hopeful with her; She truly did.

Miss Minji was proud of her for taking up the task of being a parental figure for her. And she was proud of herself! She cared for the girl as if she was her own and she was, truthfully, excited to introduce her to Yubin and Gahyeon.

Her younger sisters were going to show up tonight for Yubin’s birthday. Siyeon had been excited and unable to stay still, waiting to see them again and ask them how everything had been at the castle.

From what she saw in the newspaper, Bora never appeared again. It was seven years ago after she had given birth to her second daughter. She had her eldest and first biological daughter, Soojin, her two adopted daughters Yuqi and Eunji, and her youngest and second biological daughter, Yoorim. She was likely to be focusing only on her children, so she wasn’t able to participate in royal duties. Bora must be happy again, spending time with her children and providing them happy childhoods.

However, it looked as if King Younghyun hadn’t made any changes or differences of his own.

Throughout the day, Shuhua was acting differently.

She wasn’t as energetic as she usually was. For the first time, she was quiet and withdrawn.

“Are you feeling alright, Shuhua?” Siyeon asked, running her fingers through the little girl’s hair to fix it.

She nodded, quiet and avoided looking at her.

Something was wrong. The girl was honest; She’ll confide in her later on. Hopefully…

“There they are!” Siyeon cheered out, hoping to lift the girl’s spirits.

Shuhua perked and hopped, yelling out happily. That felt rather easy?

The carriage then stopped in front of her home and her sisters exited it, Siyeon scooping them into her arms in the tightest embrace she could muster.

“Missed you two so much!” Siyeon attempted to carry them, much like how their father used to do, but it wasn’t successful, earning laughter from it.

“Yubin and Gahyeon,” Siyeon pulled away, and placed her hand on Shuhua’s back, “this is Shuhua. I’ve been caring for her for some months. Shuhua, they are Yubin and Gahyeon.”

“Nice to meet you!” Gahyeon waved her hand.

Without missing a beat, Shuhua hopped over and embraced her. “Nice to meet you too!”

The four went into their abode to extend the introductions and set on their pillows and Yubin cut as big of a piece as she wanted of the birthday meatloaf.

“So, Shuhua, do you like being with Siyeon?” Yubin asked as she cut into her portion.

“Yeah, she’s fun! She makes good food!”

“I’m shocked,” She laughed. “Siyeon cooked the worst out of all of us. Bread was all she was good for.”

“I burnt one egg!”

“That’s enough to keep you away from the stove.”

“We can’t waste things here, Siyeon!” Gahyeon glared at her, then took a bite of her food.

“I know, I know. I’m good now, okay? Shuhua can vouch for me.”

“How did this happen?” Yubin asked. “Did you find her and took her in?”

“She was by the bakery stand and she said her parents left her here. I’ve been taking care of her until they return…”

The three sisters shared knowing looks with each other. By now, it was likely her parents weren’t going to return. Shuhua was still saying ‘tomorrow’, but it was noticeable that she wasn’t as enthusiastic whenever she said it. It was concerning; Siyeon wished she knew how to begin that conversation.

“I like being with Siyeon! She’s really fun! Why were you two away from her? Do you not like being with her?”

“It’s not that, Shuhua. We work in the castle; we have to live far away.”

“Castle?”

“Yes! We live in a kingdom with a king and queen who rule it and keep their kingdom a nice environment to live in.”

“Oh,” Shuhua drawled. “You get to be with the king and queen all day long?”

“Not all day long, but we see them.”

“I see them often!” Gahyeon added. “I help them with their rooms!”

“The king and queen have four princesses and I was their instructor when they were younger. I believe they were your age when I had them.”

“Are they nice?”

“Uh,” Gahyeon hesitated, “most of them. The king has days where he's rather… unpleasant.”

“Why?”

“The queen used to be involved with all of their royal obligations and counsels, but… with four daughters, she must focus on them. I’m upset the king won’t take one day to bond with his children!”

“He doesn’t?” Siyeon furrowed her brows. She felt her heart break, yet her blood also boiled, simmering inside her and wanting to burst.

“No! It’s only excuses, excuses and more excuses!” Gahyeon took a deep breath, then sent an abashed smile to Shuhua. “Sorry. It’s a wonderful castle to be in and everyone else there makes up for that one sorry excuse of a ma—”

“It’s a nice place, Shuhua.” Yubin interrupted, nodding towards Shuhua with an assuring nod and smile. “Nice enough, in fact, I found a very special someone.”

In that same second, Siyeon’s eyes went down to Yubin’s hand, a gold band on her left ring finger, given to her by Binnie. Yubin proposed a year ago, but didn’t have a ring at the time, so Binnie took it upon herself to get them perfectly fitted and purchased. It was a promise of faithfulness, as their relationship could never be officially declared. Sadly, however, no ceremony was held since their mother and father weren't around anymore to witness it and Binnie's family weren't okay with it.

It was small talk afterwards, focusing on Shuhua and learning about her. When she was more comfortable, she began speaking more nonsense that none of them understood. They continued to listen, nodding their head as she spoke.

“Hey, uh, Shuhua, we have a checkerboard here. Do you want to play together?” Yubin asked.

“Okay!”

While the two went to set up the game, Siyeon was left with leaving out with Gahyeon to clean their dishes in the river. Gahyeon held their oil lantern and Siyeon held the dishes, walking together through the dark.

“Is Bora doing okay…?”

“With her husband, no. With her daughters, she’s doing better than okay! She’s joyful and happy with them.”

“I can’t believe that King… that King Younghyun is simply—”

“None of us can believe it! He’s insufferable some days, honestly! Bora finds happiness in everything and everyone but him…”

“His goal to make her smile and laugh for the rest of time was one big lie…”

“I’ll admit, he was truthful in the beginning… He truly did still try to do that, until they began trying for children. He changed then… Siyeon, please don’t feel as though you’ve made a mistake in leaving or not deciding to fight, despite our status…”

“How could I not when someone I love and care about is with someone who doesn’t care for her or the children they share…?”

“It is fate, but it doesn’t mean it was going to be fine and good… You know that… Bora doesn’t mention what their relationship is now, but I’m assuming it’s not well. I can’t imagine how supper is.”

The two women stopped by the river, listening to its steady stream run by them. Sitting down, Siyeon began to wash everything.

Frankly, she was angry. She was furious! She felt that same fury from the night before that Christmas Ball! More so now… She truly didn’t have any power to help.

Gahyeon continued, “Bora asked me about you recently. Nothing bad, simply wanting to know how you were here. Tell you that she misses you and wishes she was able to introduce her children to you… It goes without saying that… she loves you still.”

Siyeon weakly smiled. “I miss her too… every day. I knew I was never going to forget her or love her any less.”

“I believe she said something similar… It’s so disheartening looking at you two…”

“Don’t be. It’s been years now. I’ve accepted now that this was meant to happen…”

“If only Bora could separate from him… stupid traditions…”

“Bora’s a strong individual. If you say that she found happiness again in her children and others around her, I believe you. I want Bora to be happy more than anything.”

Gahyeon was silent for a moment, listening to the water and a distant cricket. She then asked, “You still want to be a part of her happiness… don’t you?”

Siyeon inhaled a shaky breath, exhaling slowly. “Of course…”

The quietness didn’t sit well with Siyeon. She rarely had to confront her strong, unbreakable emotions for Bora. No one asked her, so she had no reason to speak it aloud. But they existed. Once in a blue moon, a dream occurred in her mind of having Bora with her, living with her and being happy with her. It was upsetting that her deep subconscious still desired her… She could never look at anyone else because all she wanted was her…

It was silent as they all prepared for slumber. Siyeon thought it was going to stay that way until she laid down on the floor, but Shuhua sat down next to her.

“Siyeon…?”

She hummed, putting her glasses on again. “What is it, Shuhua?”

She fidgeted, squirming in discomfort. “Are my mother and father dead…?”

The three sisters were taken aback, glancing at each other with wide eyes and dropped jaws.

“Why are you saying that?”

“I don’t think they’ll come back anymore… You said yours won’t come back… Does that mean they’re dead…?”

“Shuhua…” Siyeon used her thumb to dry the tear that fell down the little girl’s cheek. "I—I don't know the answer…”

“Why did they leave me…?”

“I don’t know… I wish I knew…”

Shuhua’s body trembled and her tears flooded out of her eyes, wailing loudly.

Siyeon pulled her into her arms and embraced her tight, holding her close and letting her sob. Then, Yubin and Gahyeon came up to her sides, joining their hug. They knew what it was like to be children with no parents; It was noticeable in their expressions that they deeply sympathized with her.

“Will you,” Shuhua couldn’t catch her breath, stuttering and gasping for air. “W—Will you leave me…?”

Siyeon held her tighter, running her hand through her hair in comfort. “No, Shuhua… I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you…”

* * *

**Age — Fifty-one**

“Siyeon!”

A pillow was smacked into her head, abruptly awakening the middle-aged woman from her slumber. She felt as if she was her young self again, twenty-four and awakened by her baby sister to prepare for delivery with her father.

But no. She was fifty-one, awakened by a young woman she became a parental substitute for, who was prepared to go to the bakery stand together and get their day up and running.

“Okay, okay, I’m up!” Siyeon grunted as she sat up, then stretching her body to relax her stiff muscles.

“You get slower every day!”

“Pardon me for becoming old, Shuhua. You go ahead and get the oven hot, I’ll see you there.”

“Okay!” Shuhua said, then hurried out.

She was her usual happy-go-lucky self, always a boulder of energy and smiling so much, it was shocking that her cheeks never seemed to hurt.

Recently, she was happier than ever. Her brightness overpowered the sun rays and nothing, no matter how terrible things become, could ever dampen her mood. Siyeon was curious as to what was the cause of her joy, what was in her life or what was she doing, but she didn’t want to simply ask. Questioning one’s happiness as if it was strange was rather rude.

For the most part, everything was the same. Since Shuhua was now under her care, she taught her how to make the bread, so they could work together and, if ever, Siyeon didn’t feel well, she could go alone. Siyeon took on her father’s habit of telling stories from youth, telling them to Shuhua every day. No matter what Shuhua’s mood was, she found immense enjoyment in her stories and was always listening.

It was supposed to be a normal work day—wake up, bake bread, sell bread, then return home.

Something was off today.

Siyeon had a strange sensation bubbling in her stomach. She could put it off as it was possibly something she ate last night; however, she didn’t want to convince herself that it was simply a physical sickness.

It felt as if she had a strange, strong urge.

“Are we doing only this today?” Shuhua asked as she was kneading her dough.

“We should pay Miss Minji a visit. Do you have something to do today?”

The young woman didn’t respond quickly, focusing deeply on her dough. “I’m going to take a long walk later.”

“Alright. Needing fresh air?”

“Something of the sorts.”

Staying focused was difficult. She’d slow down in the middle of putting all of the ingredients, her train of thought falling out its rails, causing her to stare mindlessly down at her messy hands.

For the first time in years, she had a strong urge to go to the forest… She never felt the need to ever go to the forest again, yet, today, it was overpowering her mind. She couldn’t think of anything other than ‘go to the forest’.

She knew that nothing, no one, would be there. She’d follow that familiar path, find that tree log, and find nothing. No one. She was unsure how she’d feel the moment she’d see that special place again. Most likely the yearning nostalgia of how much it meant to her. The overwhelming memories would fill her brain and live through them all over again.

“Are you okay, Siyeon?” Shuhua asked as she patted her shoulder.

“Huh?” She widened her eyes, then turned to her, meeting Shuhua’s curious expression and raised brow. “Oh, yes! I’m fine. I’m still waking up.”

“Still?! With all this work, you should be awake by now.”

Siyeon sputtered a wry laugh. “It’s quite tiring work for me now, Shu Shu. I’ll be finished quickly and get them in the oven.”

* * *

Siyeon made her decision—She’ll visit the forest.

Her mind must want to reminisce and remember happy memories for a moment.

However… she slightly liked the thought of a certain someone would be there. Perhaps, by chance, she could finally see Bora again…

God, she was fifty-one and she was still a hopeless fool.

That wasn’t possible! According to newspapers, Bora was busy traveling to attend her royal duties, joining King Younghyun and bringing their daughters, who were now in their young adult years, with them. It was doubtful Bora found time to visit the forest again, even for only a minute. Siyeon couldn’t find time to visit it herself!

“Let’s go see Miss Minji, Shu Shu,” Siyeon said while she was dusting off her hands. “I’m certain she’ll need help with tidying the shelves.”

Siyeon had to speak with her on her urge. Miss Minji always knew what to do when it came to Bora, but she was a highly optimistic woman. Years and years passed by, she shouldn’t give her any hope now…

When Siyeon and Shuhua walked into the small library, there were still two children sitting at their desks, swaying their legs back and forth and reading books.

As for Miss Minji, she was sitting at her desk, quiet, holding her shawl close to her with one hand and holding her novel open with the other.

Her hair was nearly all gray now, creases by her eyes and mouth from all her years of happily smiling and laughing. Siyeon told her from time to time that she still looked young for her age, but she never took the compliment.

“You talk to the children, Shu Shu,” Siyeon spoke in a low voice to not disrupt the peace. “I have to speak to Miss Minji about something.”

She nodded, saying ‘okay’ and heading to the nearest child.

“Miss Minji."

“Siyeon.” She smiled warmly, setting her book down. “Work was well today?”

“It’s the same old thing, Miss Minji.” She took the chair next to her and sat down, leaning on the table. “I’m having this strange feeling…”

“About?”

“I… I feel as if… I should go to the forest? Since this morning, it’s been nagging me… It sounds so ridiculous! It’s been years!”

“Do you think… Bora would be there?”

“That’s what makes me feel ridiculous! She shouldn’t be! She doesn’t have a reason to and she wouldn’t be able to sneak away from the castle, with being a mother and all of the traveling I read about in the paper. I think I simply want to go visit! I shouldn’t connect it back to her anymore, Miss Minji…”

“Bora always seemed to be… tenacious? Perhaps she always wanted to see you too and the time’s finally now? You could feel her presence.”

“Miss Minji, must you always give me hope…?”

“With Bora, yes, I always wanted to keep your head up high.”

“It’s been years, Miss Minji. Her returning is impossible…”

“You must try. At least once. After that, you can put this all to rest. You don’t have to wonder anymore.”

Siyeon sighed, then narrowing her eyes as she found that sentence strangely familiar, as if she’d heard it before. She didn’t want to give herself hope and feel foolish when no one was there. It wasn’t as if she’ll feel heartbroken; That feeling went away years ago.

She nodded, saying with a defeated tone, “Okay… Once I’m done with this, we’ll never speak of it again.”

Miss Minji smiled, nodding her head.

Siyeon kissed the side of her head and stood up, then went to Shuhua to tell her she was leaving. She then also gave the young woman a kiss on the side of her head, causing her to shriek from how sudden it was. Laughing, she left for the forest.

It felt strange yet familiar, approaching the thick forest, now lively from the spring weather. She clenched her jaw, pulling at her shirt collar. She shouldn’t be feeling strange butterflies and nervousness! She hadn’t felt those ever since her youth! She was firm on the fact that Bora was surely _not_ there, sitting on their special place’s log!

She took the usual route to that spot. Truthfully, before she took one step into the forest, the path was slightly blurry in her memory. Once she was in, it returned in the flood, and her legs moved on their own from then.

She walked through the bushes and branches, stepping on twigs and practically storming over so it could be over and done with. She was so certain that nothing and no one was going to be there.

But then, she slowed down.

Sitting on their special place’s log was a woman in a light purple dress, hair up in a bun, looking downwards and her arms were shifting, as if she was fidgeting with something.

Siyeon felt her mouth go dry.

It could be… someone else? Siyeon’s heartbeat was erratic now, pounding too quickly for her breath to catch up. Reaching her right hand to her left arm, she started to pinch at her skin, attempting to either find comfort or wake her up from this dream.

But it wasn’t a dream.

She placed her arms to her side and took a step forward.

Then another.

Then another.

Until she could see over the woman’s shoulder. She was tying bright yellow flowers together.

Her heartstrings were being tugged at the sight. The corners of her lips pulled up in a small curve and her heart grew warm.

“Why are you killing the flowers?”

Bora turned to her, startled, but it slowly went away, becoming a smile, quivering as it did. “Making a flower crown…”

Bora was still as beautiful as ever. In fact, she looked nearly the same as she last saw her. Her smile revealed creased lines on the sides and her hair was beginning to gray at the roots. She still left Siyeon breathless, wanting to look at her for the rest of time.

“Is that so?” She walked over the log and sat down next to her.

“I finished it now… Would you like to try it on?”

Siyeon smiled bigger, closing her eyes and bowing her head, feeling her place the crown on her head. She waited while she was fixing it, then lifted her head again to see Bora smiling bigger.

“How do I look?”

Bora waited a beat before speaking, her words wrapped with sincerity, “Beautiful as always.”

Comfortable silence fell on the two, their gazes and smiles mirroring each other, and their hands naturally meeting each other and interlocking their fingers together.

Still the perfect fit.

Siyeon was speechless. Miss Minji was, once again, correct in staying hopeful. Her hands were warm and soft, small in her hold, letting the memories of holding her hands pour back to her.

She usually imagined their first reunion to be awkward, but it didn’t. It felt pleasant. It felt comfortable.

It felt as if they were never apart to begin with.

“Would you like to walk?” Siyeon asked, “Are your feet okay to do that?”

Bora giggled, “Yes, they’re alright. I’d love to.”

The queen stood up first, letting go of her hands for a couple seconds before she grabbed hers again.

Siyeon followed, giving her hand a light squeeze.

“It’s been a long time…” Siyeon started, beginning to take their slow, aimless walk.

“It has…”

“How did you get here?”

“Younghyun’s away for a conference, my daughters are busy with friends and watching derby races, that secret passage still exists, I still have my sneakiness… and I simply felt the need to come here.”

“I felt the same…” Siyeon then chuckled, “I shall thank Miss Minji for telling me to stay hopeful.”

“I shall send her a thank you as well. For bringing you here to me.”

Siyeon couldn’t stop smiling. How she was feeling right now was indescribable, wanting to say so much yet nothing at all. She wanted to simply be with Bora, hold her and gaze at her, taking in her beauty. Yet, she wanted to speak and never stop speaking, to listen to her listen and her laugh.

“You’ve been an amazing queen, Bora,” Siyeon said.

“Thank you.” Bora’s hand loosened and, for a second, the village woman tightened her hold, not wanting to let go. She was able to slip out, then she embraced her arm, pressing her cheek into her shoulder. “I’ve done my best to do so. I was so frustrated with Younghyun when I attempted to suggest any changes to the village.”

“I remember Yubin and Gahyeon telling me about that… Why was it that he didn’t want to make changes?”

“He never gave me a reasonable answer… I had to find a way to help without suggesting the village! I’m aware the river is rather far… I hope it has provided to you all?”

“Yes, it’s been very helpful! I can confidently say that everyone is happier and healthier with it. Thank you for it.”

“I’m relieved.”

The question lingered on Siyeon’s tongue. Her opinion on King Younghyun—him being a king, husband, and father—had been negative thus far. Despite everything that happened the last time she was in the castle, she believed he truly loved Bora and truly did want to make her happy…

Was she… No, were they… Were they too fixated on fate…? Were they too blinded by that, thus they blissfully ignored everything that was wrong…?

“Bora…”

She hummed.

“Is he… kinder to you now?”

“I’m assuming Yubin and Gahyeon told you about the issues within the castle?”

“Not all. I’m concerned about whether he was good to you or not…”

Bora sighed, stopping and turning to her, holding her hands again. “Our biggest difficulty was having children… I was still under immense stress from everything… I couldn’t bear a child for the life of me! I confided in Gahyeon often about it; There was a time where I thought I was never going to be able to. And then I did, finally after years of trying and trying…”

She took a shaky, deep inhale, and heavily exhaled afterwards before she continued, “He was good to me. He was happy again. He treated me well and cared for me… And then I had a girl.”

Siyeon cocked her head to the side, scrunching her brows together. “He didn’t want a girl?”

“He only wanted sons. He always talked about wanting sons. When Soojin was born, he was… I can’t word it, but he was… slightly indifferent…? He still cares for her and he loves her very much. She’s the heir to the throne, after all… but… I can see he’s still visibly upset. When we kept trying and I was having difficulties again, I still wanted to have many children, so I decided to adopt. He was fine with it, though he didn’t want to adopt a boy. He was adamant on us having a biological son, at least one. So, we had Yuqi and Eunji.”

Siyeon could see Bora’s eyes were becoming glassy, filling with tears, and felt her grip tighten. She let go and grabbed her waist, pulling her in for an embrace, allowing her to rest her head on her shoulder. Bora wrapped her arms around her neck, firm and keeping her close.

“When I was having difficulties again, he had no hope… It was as if he knew… Did your sisters tell you he wasn’t present when Yoorim was born…?”

“No…”

She was shocked to hear that. How could someone do that? How could a husband do that to his wife… not wanting to see his child be brought into the world, simply because he didn’t get what he wanted…?

“He wasn’t… He left to stay with his family in Dyyma when the due date was near. He didn’t return until… god, I don’t remember… but it was too long after she was born. I wish I could give him a son, I truly do…” Bora sniffled, gripping her shirt. “He wanted to keep trying and, when he noticed it was taking long again, we stopped. I can’t begin to guess what would’ve transpired if we had another girl…”

“I’m so sorry, Bora…” Internally, boiling anger was building up. Without a doubt, she’d disregard hierarchy and status and attack him for treating her this way.

“Siyeon, Younghyun made Yoorim feel significantly alienated by him. It was always me who gave her love and attention and he was… there. He was uninterested and… I’m unsure if he wanted to develop any bond with her. I remember when Yoorim was younger, before she moved into secondary school, she came to me, sobbing, and asked me if her father loved her at all…”

Siyeon held her closer, feeling her own eyes burn as Bora trembled in her arms.

“We had our biggest argument regarding that. All I asked of him is to apologize to her for acting in such a way! I wanted him to tell her he loved her and that he’ll be more present in her life! I wanted him to be there for her… That argument should’ve never happened and yet it did… He’s better now; He’s finally being a good father to them, especially Yoorim. He brings them when he could to assemblies and meetings with other royal families and teaches them how everything is handled.” Bora lifted her head to dry her face of her tears with the back of her hand. “My apologies, Siyeon…”

“It’s fine, Bora. You’re such a strong person and I’m proud of you. You’ve been an amazing queen and wonderful mother.” Siyeon had to get away from that conversation before her anger overcame her. “Tell me, what are your daughters like?”

Bora paused for a moment, then said with a smile, “They have brought so much life and color with them. They’re always happy, smiling and laughing often, and they usually include me whenever they have something to talk about or show me. There were rarely any dull days with them, as they were close to the staff and played small pranks on me and the staff. The castle has never been so full of laughter before! I made it my sworn duty to develop a close and loving relationship with all of them, to always tell them I love them and they could always come to me with their troubles. I spend a lot of my time with them when we’re at the castle. I teach them archery in the courtyard, instead of hiring an instructor I teach them the kingdom history and princess etiquette myself, and… I taught them your mother’s bread recipe, joining the kitchen staff in the morning to make it. And for all of their birthdays when the ball is over, we go in the kitchen and make that special meatloaf. The birthday girl gets as big of a piece as she likes.”

Siyeon stopped in her tracks, turning to her, lips parted with a stunned look in her eyes. Bora turned to her, lowly giggling at her.

“You made it your tradition too…”

“Yes, I did… I thought it’d be wonderful for them to have one outside of the royal ones and… It’s… Perhaps I should say it’s my method of sharing that part of my life without saying it at all… I still kept it all, as well the clothes you gave me and the money I earned from the farm, safe in a secured box with my belongings. As for the recipes, after I memorized and perfected them, I burned the paper, just as you asked.”

Siyeon chuckled, “I vaguely remember Gahyeon telling me that you kept that paper around for some time after you memorized them.”

Bora’s eyes widened and her cheeks grew pink, then giving her a sheepish grin and giggle, “I… adored your handwriting.”

She hummed, playfully rolling her eyes.

“My apologies, I wanted a little more of you before I burned it.”

When silence fell on them and she thought more about it, Siyeon felt her eyes burn and her breath was shaky. The corners of her mouth were trembling into a smile, holding Bora’s hand tighter.

“Don’t cry, Siyeon.” Bora reached her other hand over and cupped her cheek, wiping away a stray tear that left her eye.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it…”

Bora let go of Siyeon’s hand and then wrapped her arms around her neck, pulling her into a close embrace.

Siyeon returned it, embracing her waist, using her hand to dry her eyes.

“I missed you…”

“I missed you too…”

Time seemed to have slowed to a stop, embracing in the peacefulness of the healthy nature around them. Siyeon never wanted to let go again, stay in their perfectly fitted hug and take in her smell of jasmine, keeping her warm and keeping her safe.

Siyeon pulled away first, gazing at Bora’s face and taking in her every feature, their sharpness still prevalent, tracing them as if to embed them in her mind. Her eyes still glowed with cinnamon and gold, gazing back as if the world had disappeared and she was the only one left.

She never forgot in the first place.

None of it.

Bora sighed, One of her hands slid to Siyeon’s collar, twiddling with the hem. “I… do have one concern regarding Soojin…”

“Is something wrong?”

“No! No, nothing’s wrong! Soojin is a perfectly fine young woman, so respectful and is diligent in her studies… She was visibly showing that she was extremely apathetic towards the princes and dukes who were courting her since secondary.” Bora released a weak chuckle. “Younghyun and I will be king and queen for… years to come… However, as of now, Younghyun has arranged her with a prince from the Kingdom of Ayst, Prince Minho. Regardless, I overheard her speaking with Yuqi a few days ago in their chambers. I didn’t intend to intrude on them, but she was speaking about a girl… She said she loves her very much and had been seeing this girl since she was nine. I want to speak to you about this because it sounds similar to us! She mentioned this forest as well and how she snuck out every day while she was in the academy and she still sees her now!”

It clicked.

Siyeon never forgot Shuhua mentioning that she had a forest friend. It reminded her of Bora, it was too similar for her to forget. Shuhua told her before saying she wasn’t supposed to say it, only adding to the similarity.

“Do you recall if she said a name…? The name of the girl?”

Bora hummed, glancing at her surroundings. “I believe… She said Shu… I can’t recall—”

“Shuhua?”

“Yes! Yes, it’s… Shuhua…” Bora tipped her head to the side, scrunching her brows together. “How do you know that?”

Siyeon forced a chuckle, lifting her hand over Bora’s, still fiddling with her collar, and began to pinch at the back of her hand. “Did Yubin and Gahyeon mention that I had been taking care of someone?”

“Oh, yes! I was intending to ask, but I was caught up with…”

Their eyes widened, almost simultaneously.

This couldn’t be happening… Not to Shuhua… Not to Soojin… Siyeon didn’t think to consider that it could’ve been anything similar to what happened to her and Bora. She should’ve known when Shuhua told her, then said to forget about it.

Meeting since they were young… in the forest… every day… Soojin loved her…

And she was the heir to the throne.

Bora’s eyes softened, falling down to Siyeon’s collar. “I’ve been waiting for her to speak to me on the matter… I hope she isn’t afraid to tell me. Younghyun was vocal about his negative views when protection laws for such relationships were suggested during one of our conferences…”

Siyeon was only confused, all the thoughts in her head were mixing together. Everything she was hearing was causing a storm in her head.

“I believe Soojin mentioned that the position in the kitchen has always been open… She wants to tell Shuhua about it, so they could be together. She knows it would be a secret, but she wants her there. How could that work when Soojin is beginning to spend more time with Prince Minho?”

She'd never wish what she experienced with Bora to happen to anyone else.

Especially not Shuhua.

“It’s humorous how things work out…”

“Time repeats itself eventually…" Siyeon said through a sigh. "I’ll speak with Shuhua about her.”

“And I’ll… ask Soojin after our supper.”

They embraced one more time, as tightly as they possibly could. Siyeon still couldn’t wrap her head around Shuhua doing the same as she did: having met a princess, secretly meeting her, and developing love between each other.

They slowly pulled away, their faces so close their noses were nearly touching, then gently pressing their foreheads together, closing their eyes. Moments like this, to be with someone and simply exist together with nothing to bother or interrupt, were the best kind of moments.

It lingered. The pull between them that never disappeared and will never disappear. It only slumbered, waiting and waiting until this moment. This moment to meet once again and become one. It was only a yearning, painful reminder of their love that could never be. Their sincere, deeply-rooted love and declaration of it was only wistful.

Bora’s voice cracked, weak, as she said, “Let’s not repeat all of time for them.”

Siyeon hummed in agreement.

“Will we ever meet again…?”

Siyeon weakly smiled, barely visible. “I hope so…”

“I love you, wolf pup.” She pulled away and spoke in that humorous, suppressed accent from the farm, every word woven with love.

“And I love you, Sua.”

She laughed afterwards, the same boisterous laugh Siyeon never forgot.

And just like with everyone she loved, she kissed her head, on her forehead, letting it last a few seconds. They pulled away, holding each other’s hands for a split moment before letting go.

Bora’s smile wavered, then turned away first and Siyeon stayed in place, watching her leave towards where the hidden passage was until she was out of sight.

Bora wasn’t hers.

And she never will be.

She’ll need to speak to Shuhua before she leaves for her long walk.

Perhaps she was going to visit Soojin…?

She reached up and removed the yellow flower crown, gazing at it with a bittersweet smile. She returned to where their special place’s log was and laid the crown on top of it.

She sighed as she looked at it, memories flashing through her head of everything they did in this forest.

All the happiness they felt together. All those days when they ran and weaved around the trees. All of their excited conversations about their interests. All their solemn conversations about their personal thoughts.

And those nights they confessed and acted on their love.

It was all held in this one place, hidden and to never see the light.

This forest will hold their story safely.

She turned around and returned to the village.

Siyeon attempted to hurry as she headed straight to the library, hoping to catch Shuhua. She wasn’t going to cease her from seeing Soojin; She only wanted to tell her what was happening. Tell her everything.

She wished she knew what to tell her about how to deal with that.

But she was relieved that she could make a difference for her. For them.

When she arrived, out of breath, Miss Minji was alone inside, tidying the room.

“Siyeon?”

“Did Shuhua leave already?”

“She left thirty minutes ago. Siyeon, did something happen?”

She told her everything that happened. She met Bora in the forest and, when on the topic of her eldest daughter, they connected together that history was repeating with Soojin and Shuhua. She was shocked at herself for retelling it without becoming too emotional. Miss Minji’s eyes widened as she listened longer and longer.

“I believe she’s going to see her now…” Siyeon ended with that, holding Miss Minji’s hands tightly. “I can’t let this happen to her.”

“You’ll simply have to wait, Siyeon. I know you two won’t let anything bad happen to them.”

“I hope we could prevent anything bad that could happen. I don’t want them to be separated… I don’t want what happened to me and Bora to happen to them…” Siyeon took her glasses off to dry the tears that were beginning to stream down her cheeks. She went into Miss Minji’s arms and hid her face in her shoulder, trembling at the thought of Shuhua’s happy personality beginning to break down from being apart from Soojin.

Siyeon expected words of wisdom and encouragement from her, but it was silent. Perhaps that was better, letting her anxiety pass and gather her hope.

* * *

Therefore, Siyeon waited.

She couldn’t eat or drink for supper and slumber was impossible to do. She had to wait; She needed this conversation to happen as soon as she could. Bora surely spoke to Soojin, who should tell Shuhua, and then Siyeon will tell her. She couldn’t stop pacing back and forth, pinching at her skin and wondering when she’ll return.

She clenched her teeth as the memories of the castle and thoughts of Shuhua being there persisted. Shuhua being there, only a worker and keeping their relationship a secret. And then what would happen if Bora couldn’t make changes for them to be recognized as a true couple? What if Prince Minho was as persistent as King Younghyun was? That he wanted all of Soojin's time? What if she'll be forced to study and attend all royal obligations?

She heavily sighed every now and then, waiting and waiting, unable to focus.

It was becoming too suffocating in her little home, she had no choice but to leave outside to get fresh air and feel a colder climate against her skin.

The sky was normally full of stars; She felt uneasy seeing it was nearly all darkness.

It was perfect time, Shuhua was returning, storming up to her with her fists balled and a fire in her glare.

“Shuhua—”

Without a word, the young woman gave her a hard shove. It nearly sent her to the floor; She was so speechless that she simply stared at her, wide-eyed and mouth hanging open.

“You have some explaining to do!”

“Okay, I’ll tell you! Let’s handle this calmly and inside before we alarm the village.”

Shuhua huffed, but followed her in, sitting on the bed with her arms crossed over her chest.

“You tell me what you were doing first,” Siyeon said as she sat down next to her, “and I’ll explain everything to you.”

“Fine… I knew you’d remember that friend I talked about. I still see her, it was every day but it’s only sometimes now. Her name’s Soojin. She’s always been the nicest, kindest, sometimes funniest girl and… I’m not afraid to say I’m in love with her!” She huffed again afterwards. “Tell me why she brought a slice of birthday meatloaf with her! She said that her mother taught it to her! I was confused, so I asked her where her mother learned it from! Then, she started telling me about her. She has a whole story tied to it! She learned it from her first love’s mother on the greatest day of her life!”

Siyeon closed her eyes, sighing. It was surely cooked for more confirmation of their connection.

She just knew Bora told that with a yearning tone. Of course, she had to add a little story for her daughters of this sacred recipe’s origins. She did mention how she told that part of her life without saying it, but Siyeon didn’t imagine it was done so in that manner.

From the sounds of it, she couldn’t remove the romance.

“Explain!”

“I will!” Siyeon's eyes shot open and raised her voice louder, then calmed down again after a deep breath. “All day, I’ve been wanting to leave somewhere. I spoke to Miss Minji and she encouraged me to go… She always helped me with those strong emotions I was feeling. My subconscious knew that my first love was where we used to meet…”

“Where is that?”

“Like you and Soojin—in the forest. I was listening to her talk about her daughters, about how close she was to them, and then… when she was talking to me about her concerns regarding Soojin, she mentioned you, Shuhua, and how much she loves you.” Siyeon then grabbed her hand as she relaxed her arms down, gripping her hand firmly. “So… Yes, Soojin’s mother is my first love. Her name is Bora—Queen Ryu Bora of our Kingdom of Sinnomia.”

Shuhua gasped, her eyes widening until her eyes could pop out of their sockets. “You’re… You’re joking with me.”

“No, Shuhua, I’m not.” She said it with a slow, gentle tone, feeling her heart throb from seeing her saddened expression, “Soojin is a princess. The heir to the throne.”

Silence fell on them. It wasn’t comfortable or uncomfortable. It was still, letting the words process in their minds. To think about what to say next.

“She hasn’t told me yet…”

“Perhaps she’s too frightened to.”

“But we’ve known each other for a long time! She shouldn’t be afraid to tell me anything!”

“I remember Bora was terrified to tell me she was a princess at the time. It may be for the same reason—Because she didn’t want to frighten or anger you for lying about who she was. Perhaps she was supposed to tell you tonight and she was still too afraid! You’ll have to talk to her when you see her again.”

Her heart ached remembering those days of waiting, even now. She didn’t worry for her—she knew that Shuhua would be able to see her again.

Shuhua nodded and weakly smiled, now completely relaxed. She relaxed faster than Siyeon thought she would. She could tell that she was also relieved with her feelings being understood and not questioned.

“Do you still love her?” She asked.

Siyeon paused, having never told another soul in years.

“Very much,” she muttered, taking a deep breath to stop the lump growing in her throat. She pushed it aside with a forced chortle. “You never truly forget your first love, especially the love we shared…” She then added with a lower, wistful, tone, “The love we share.”

“Then… what happened?”

“It’s a long story, Shuhua.”

“We’re already awake and… I love your stories! You know that, don’t you?”

She did know that. All of her stories were the same—helping the people of the village, delivering with her father, and comical moments with her sisters. She avoided everything involving Bora, as she felt those couldn’t be told with less detail and she’d feel too emotional retelling them.

Shuhua deserved to hear a different one.

With a longing in her voice, she began, “It all started when I was young…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and the end 😭  
> i hope you all enjoyed reading this! really sorry about the rollercoaster of emotions i put you all through with this 😅  
> anyway i have a couple of fics in the works rn but ive been having a hard time focusing on just one so…………… thought id ask…………… which one should i work on next: yoodong or susidong? 🤔🤔🤔  
> thank you all for reading uwu!


End file.
